Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

House dilemma (with diagram)

213 replies

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 08:42

Need some quick thoughts for this please as I'm on a timer. I went to look at a house through social housing yesterday, it's mine if I want it. There's a new bathroom and kitchen although everywhere else needs tlc. My main issue is that the next door neighbours have access to the back garden from their property, would this put anyone off? Diagram for looking at below. The arrows is where next door can walk through.

House dilemma (with diagram)
OP posts:
LoveWatchingTheSea · 26/02/2025 13:56

Congrats OP. Good luck in your new home.

snotathing · 26/02/2025 13:56

Could you pay to move the access gate to the end of the garden rather than the top near your window? You could then screen off that end with hedges and have privacy at your kitchen. It would make a huge diffference. I'd do it.

EleanorReally · 26/02/2025 13:55

That's exciting.
well done on your decisions,
no naked washing up is probably for the best

Climpy · 26/02/2025 13:49

Congratulations on your new home OP 🏡

Longingforspringtime · 26/02/2025 13:47

Congratulations! I'm sure you'll love having your own home. Would love an update once you've moved in. My DS has a similar set up and it's never been a problem.

placemats · 26/02/2025 13:46

So pleased you have done this. I wish you all the very best of luck and that you enjoy your new home. xx

Ilovegoldies · 26/02/2025 13:46

Definitely the right decision. In my area it's a choice of 3 and then housing duty ends. I'm picturing a scenario where the choices could get steadily worse.
I live in an area where some terraces are laid out like this, they have erected a fence on their bit of the garden thus enclosing it.

RiderOfTheBlue · 26/02/2025 13:40

Congrats OP. I think you've made the right decision. I always say I'd rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.

Calliecarpa · 26/02/2025 13:39

Londonrach1 · 26/02/2025 13:28

I wouldn't touch it. Sorry op. It be harder to resell and could be a pain. Ive had a friend who parents house had similar set up and it was awful.

It's social housing. The OP can't buy or sell it. She's been waiting since 2023 to get a house.

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 26/02/2025 13:37

I really hope it works out for you OP. Personally I wouldn't have gone for it, but it sounds like you've got alternatives if worse comes to worst. Good luck!

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 26/02/2025 13:36

Londonrach1 · 26/02/2025 13:28

I wouldn't touch it. Sorry op. It be harder to resell and could be a pain. Ive had a friend who parents house had similar set up and it was awful.

You do realise that the OP isn't buying this property don't you 'Londonrach1'?

rach7979 · 26/02/2025 13:35

Congratulations! I hope you are happy in your new home

Calliecarpa · 26/02/2025 13:34

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 13:21

I've decided to go for it, at the end of the day if I really can't bear it, I'll either house swap or go back an live with my mum, kids go back to dads an ill put possessions in my brother's old room or sell them, I can't let this opportunity pass by without trying at least. I'm too old for a mortgage, can't afford private rent. If I fall on my arse, so be it, won't be the first time!

Brilliant, and many congrats! I think you've made the right decision, and I hope you're really happy in your new home x

InishBiggle · 26/02/2025 13:30

Congratulations - sounds like a great decision and opportunity for your children. best of luck. Put a lock on gate with a key to give to neighbour and landlord - not code that they can share with relatives / delivery drivers. Good luck.

Londonrach1 · 26/02/2025 13:28

I wouldn't touch it. Sorry op. It be harder to resell and could be a pain. Ive had a friend who parents house had similar set up and it was awful.

BarqsHasBite · 26/02/2025 13:26

BookishBabe · 26/02/2025 12:55

It was the only thing I absolutely can't have when looking at a house. We had a shared access garden growing up, there was just constant going through the garden with bikes, bins, dogs, usually loud when they were going through. You can't even lock your own back gate because next door need access.

I don’t know how if it would be allowed in social housing but when we owned a house with access like this we put a lock on the gate with a code, and shared the code with the neighbours.

Differentstarts · 26/02/2025 13:23

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 13:21

I've decided to go for it, at the end of the day if I really can't bear it, I'll either house swap or go back an live with my mum, kids go back to dads an ill put possessions in my brother's old room or sell them, I can't let this opportunity pass by without trying at least. I'm too old for a mortgage, can't afford private rent. If I fall on my arse, so be it, won't be the first time!

I think you made the right decision. I know its not ideal but it's a roof over your head and future security

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 13:21

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 26/02/2025 13:02

So, what did you decide in the end OP?

I've decided to go for it, at the end of the day if I really can't bear it, I'll either house swap or go back an live with my mum, kids go back to dads an ill put possessions in my brother's old room or sell them, I can't let this opportunity pass by without trying at least. I'm too old for a mortgage, can't afford private rent. If I fall on my arse, so be it, won't be the first time!

OP posts:
CatsWhiskerz · 26/02/2025 13:08

Can you change it so you put a pathway and gate up the far end of the garden and then fence they bit off so you have a private area where they don't enter? If not then I'd decline due to children and pets personally as you can be sure they'd close things correctly for safety

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 26/02/2025 13:02

So, what did you decide in the end OP?

BookishBabe · 26/02/2025 12:55

It was the only thing I absolutely can't have when looking at a house. We had a shared access garden growing up, there was just constant going through the garden with bikes, bins, dogs, usually loud when they were going through. You can't even lock your own back gate because next door need access.

RIPVPROG · 26/02/2025 12:49

whatonearthisgoingonnow · 26/02/2025 09:30

The OP isn't going to be extending a council house??

I know that's why I added another comment seconds later

trivialMorning · 26/02/2025 12:48

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 11:55

My gut instinct is no😬

No dogs no young kids - I'd probably risk it and take it.

How much of an issue it is - really depends on area and actual neigbours.

You've also got to factor in avaliablity in HA in your area - where my siblings are they are mid massive HA building program so there's more choice.

BarqsHasBite · 26/02/2025 12:45

Our last house, which we owned, was like this. We were lucky that the two sets of neighbours who had access were both lovely and we really didn’t mind them crossing the back of the house occasionally. A friend up the street had more issues as her neighbour inexplicably used only his back door not the front so was crossing all the time.

However in your shoes I would definitely go for it as I suspect you could be waiting a while for something else and/or it may have bigger issues or require more of a compromise.

Calliecarpa · 26/02/2025 12:14

OneGreyBiscuit · 26/02/2025 11:55

My gut instinct is no😬

Is it really though, or is it just the PP who've been trying to put you off with horror stories? I'm not really sure that everyone who's been urging you not to take the house has really grasped that it's social housing and you're not buying the place. As you've been waiting since 2023 for a house, how long is it likely to be before you're offered another one? And if/when you are, what if that one has far more drawbacks than this one?

No house is perfect, whether social housing or not. There's always going to be something you don't like or is a bit of a compromise. Bad neighbours can unfortunately be a problem anywhere. As the rest of the house sounds lovely, if I were you, I'd grab it with both hands.