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Original poster

Just do the damn homework! It will take 30mins but you've moaned about it for 4hrs!

33 replies

Polkadotbikininini · 25/02/2025 22:54

P is 14 and is changing schools in September. The new school only consists of year 10-11 and has different curiculum/subjects so everything P has done in yr 9 won't matter. It also doesn't give homework.

Homework is a contentious issue. We have 4 hours of tantrums over work that would take 30mins. They don't want to spend their own time on school work. The majority of homework does get done eventually but it's all just so unpleasant. One of the main reasons it gets done is that we remind them how important it is for GCSEs.

Well, now it isn't important for their GCSEs. The new school dont offer one of the particularly problematic subjects. Plus there will be no homework from September anyway.

Not doing homework isn't an option. It would potentially disrupt other students and they also need to know they can't just decide not to do something.

So help! How do you get a sulky teen with a bad attitude to do homework when everyone knows its sort of pointless? This is going to be so much worse now.

OP posts:
CuckooclockTicTok · 25/02/2025 23:09

Step away

let them make their own choices.

they don’t do set homework - they face the consequences - be that bad grades / falling behind or detentions etc.

if they don’t make the grades they want - they will have to retake / reassess their pathway.

don’t fight with them - it is their life not yours.

Support / encourage / help if they ask for it - but don’t nag / plead or cajole - ultimately it is their school work not yours.

teenagers love asserting their ‘rights’ but have to understand that rights come with ‘responsibilities ’ … schools are usually abundantly clear about what needs to be completed and it is the students job to get on with homework. Not the parents job to have to nag for 4 hours…

step back and let natural consequences help their decision making processes.

BassesAreBest · 25/02/2025 23:07

I’d let them not do the homework, but they have to accept any consequences from school. So if they get detention, that’s on them.

How is not doing homework going to disrupt the class?

verycloakanddaggers · 25/02/2025 23:07

Presumably school sanctions? So if he doesn't do the homework he gets a detention? You can offer that choice - homework or detention.

waltzingparrot · 25/02/2025 23:07

What consequences does the school dole out for missed homework? Would loads of detentions be a deterrent? In which case, I think I'd let them take the school's punishment for a while.

Neveragain35 · 25/02/2025 23:06

Whatever he wants to do, you make that a condition of doing the homework. For my DD it’s going out with her friends- she’s not allowed out unless homework is done. I also keep an eye on what is due when and remind her.

minipie · 25/02/2025 23:05

Do they want to go to university eventually ? Most uni work is “homework” ie independent study so it’s really important to learn those skills.

I’m amazed a y10/11 school doesn’t give homework. Does it have longer school hours instead? I’m sure there will at least be revision to do at home as exams approach.

Starling7 · 25/02/2025 22:59

Get them a really crap weekend job and remind them that they will do that kind of work forever if they don't focus.

Blubbles · 25/02/2025 22:58

It's not pointless. He's learning stuff he will need to GCSEs, even if he thinks the knowledge he is gaining isn't going to be in the GCSE course.
He's learning how to do homework and learning Writing essays, completing projects, time management, revision skills etc. all important for his GCSEs.

Tell him to grow up and take his phone away.