DH treating early miscarriage as any other period

To be fair if you literally only had a positive test a couple of days ago I don’t think your DH is going to understand what happens after and how it works for your body.
Most women would be fine to continue their normal life physically if obviously struggling emotionally.
I hardly think him asking for a bit of physical help is divorce grounds like some posters!
Just communicate you still aren’t feeling great, I don’t think it’s really fair for him to assume you can’t do anything.

I’m glad they exist. Because if they didn’t I wouldn’t have known I’d had 4 early miscarriages at 6 weeks (plus one that was at 10 weeks when I didn’t know I was pregnant and I ended up in A&E for a blood transfusion) and so no investigation would have happened. (I also ended up 2 further ones, both required hospital visits).

I’m sorry your DH is being so unempathetic, OP. I’d have a chat with him before trying again.

The gates comment is insensitive. However there's no need to go to the GP for the bleeding. I've had a chemical pregnancy (2 strong lines not faint for about 2 weeks and then I bled) and it is just a late period (but more physically painful). I wouldn't compare it to a miscarriage. I know someone who had one at 12 weeks and that would be distressing. Unfortunately, chemical pregnancies are very common and loads of women will just assume that their period is slightly late as they hadn't tested early.

That doesn't mean her partner has to match that feeling

Sorry for the loss of your pregnancy op, your husband was very insensitive.

With all of my pregnancies I’ve tested when I was a few days late - as my periods are very regular. I didn’t ever consider this a ‘super early test’ because my period was late. When do people consider testing not ‘super early’?

Same thing happened to me and my friends (not anymore) dismissed it and acted like I was making a big deal. It’s sad, it’s grief , you have lost the baby you were carrying - early days or not.
take your time OP. It’s really upsetting.

Many women, myself included, would see this as a late period. Having had a ‘late period’ and also a miscarriage at 10 weeks, to me there was a world of difference.
Each woman’s experience is different and none should be dismissed.

I've had 4 miscarriages, two were very early on and if my DH had behaved like yours I wouldn't have kept TTC.
I can't believe posters are saying it's okay for him to be a dick just because it's early. I'm so sorry for your loss but he's shown his true colours as he clearly doesn't care you are in pain and have lost your baby.
I hope you told him to fuck off when he asked you to help.
So sorry x

Some of the comments on this… wow. I hope you’re not people I know in real life!

Yes.
And she had a positive pregnancy test.
And she's upset.

I’m sorry for your loss. Why do you want to see the GP?

He's a farmer. I assume (unless he just grows crops) he is used to seeing life come into the world? He will also be used to all kinds of loss and having to make life or death decisions fairly regularly.
I can understand why, to him a 'late period' isn't as big a deal as it is for you.
I agree with others that early pregnancy tests can do more harm than good, realistically up until relatively recently you wouldn't have known you were pregnant and would just have assumed your period was a bit late.

Neither do I. They do have a place in certain circumstances but on the whole, they are simply cashing in on desperate women.

I doubt there’s a woman in the world who hasn’t had a late period/early miscarriage. 10-20 years ago, you’d have barely noticed. This is an unintended consequence of more sophisticated pregnancy tests.

Wow I've been jumped on. Sorry OP I'm sorry for your loss.

As a separate discussion maybe these super early tests don't actually do anyone any favours

Is a week after your period was due considered “early” testing?

As someone who had recurrent miscarriages which I got referred for investigations and treatment for as quickly as possible because one of them was this type of loss, and an ecoptic which was picked up at an EPU scan precisely because I also tested early on that occasion, other posters sucking their teeth and inferring that testing early is more trouble than it’s worth is a delight to read.

OP I’m sorry this has happened and that your husband hasn’t been as supportive as you needed. My DH was also a bit like this with my losses and I think he just didn’t know what to say or how to react. The ones where I required physical or practical support (after the ectopic surgery, when I was in pain, picking up the slack with parenting DD etc) he was excellent, but to be blunt he just wasn’t as emotionally invested as I was. Even with DS, who was born after 4/5 losses and a complicated and high risk pregnancy, I can see now it took him longer to bond with him compared to DD. If your DH is generally not a dickhead I would give him the benefit of the doubt but let him know that him downplaying it wasn’t the kind of support you needed at that moment.

Wow what a nasty post, guess you dont understand how it works, she was pregnant and has had a miscarriage

He could’ve been nicer, but he didn’t do much wrong. A few years ago, before everyone tested so very early, it would’ve been a slightly late period and nothing more.

I don’t think ultra early pregnancy tests are always a good thing.

That's awful!

To us, a wanted pregnancy ''IS'' a real baby.

That’s an awful comment and dismissive of OPs feelings.

OP - it’s a loss. Take all the time you need coming to terms with this and working through emotions. Your DH is showing no empathy and that’s not a good thing as a potential father. Don’t lift those gates - take time to rest and recover. And see the GP 🫂

Sorry OP.

I can completely understand your DH's reaction - it was pretty much mine to my (multiple) early miscarriages. But if you'd invested yourself in it, of course it's upsetting.

I honestly think it's a bad thing* for our mental health now we can find out we're pregnant so extremely quickly. Over 20% of pregnancies end in early miscarriages and most happen in the first 8 weeks - before women even knew they were pregnant through most of history. For women who have quite a lot of early miscarriages, I think it was kinder if we didn't know about them all.

*I do understand early detection is helpful for many reasons

Probably before the days of home pregnancy tests, there were possibly many late periods that were early MC's if the woman was having unprotected sex with a man.
But late periods can often be crampy even if one doesn't have sex.

I think you are maybe confused... a period happens when the egg is not fertillised and a miscarriage happens after a positive pregnancy test. Maybe you just didn't understand. Because otherwise you are being deliberately goady and mean.

I'm sorry for you loss.
People can be so insensitive - sometimes without meaning to be and also because they just don't get it.
I'll never forget my ex-MILs first comment to my ex-husband after I'd had an ERPC after a missed miscarriage discovered at my 12-week scan. Baby had passed away at about 9 weeks
She asked him why on earth I was crying all of the time because "it wasn't a real baby anyway."
Heartless piece of work.
Perhaps your husband is trying to do the whole "keep calm and carry on" thing without understanding how much you are hurting.
Can you sit him down and tell him how you're feeling?

I’m not sure he did anything wrong really. I had a lot of these pregnancies that didn’t amount to anything but I didn’t class them as miscarriages either. I did just treat them as a late period and cracked on. I can see why he might have thought it wasn’t a big deal but he certainly should have supported you when you told him how upset you were.