How are women supposed to survive this?

It’s very real and you’re not alone. I had it bad and left a high pressured job that I was thriving in until the symptoms hit. I couldn’t cope at all. Was frightened and worried all the time. Couldn’t process and was making mistakes. I didn’t know who I was anymore and all my clothes shrunk!

HRT (oestrogel) and a change in my diet to increase protein and reduce white bread and shitty carbs has changed my life. Still eat complex carbs. My hair thinned so much but now, a year on it’s bouncy and full. I can’t believe it.

Get booked in for some HRT ASAP if you can. You’ll be ok.

I can’t take HRT due to medical history. I haven’t killed anyone. I’ve survived 3 years of peri and 5 years of menopause with magnesium salts and pure lavender oil in the bath, more protein, and just putting one foot in front of the other a day at a time because HRT isn’t an option.

HRT. At 42, unless you've had breast cancer, the benefits both short and long term massively outweigh the risks. If no benefit after 3m, it isn't perimenopause

My aunt got agressive breast cancer after a course of HRT so I've always been reluctant to go on it as was my mother - what about acupuncture?

i second this suggestion. I had very low levels and have B12 injections now. They make a big difference to my energy levels.

I sympathise op. I have been through a similar experience, it’s hell.

i take HRT, don’t drink alcohol, hydrate with electrolytes every morning (I get very dehydrated overnight) and I use a light box. I exercise every day. I lift weights x5 per week and do about 120min cardio. Food wise I follow a fairly strict high protein diet. Sleep is a top priority.

Implementing all these things has meant I can still function enough to keep my job and family going without completely losing my mind. I still get days when I feel like crap, but it’s not all the time like before and I’m now a healthy weight.

I would not have survived without HRT. I would have killed someone - either myself or someone else.

I certainly could not have continued working. The brain fog was debilitating.

I’ll stay on it as long as my doctor keeps prescribing it.

Women survive it by going on HRT.

Unless you have some very specific existing health issues, there is no reason to be worried about it.

HRT is fab. Watch the Davina McColl programmes about the menopause, they’re really good.

HRT - game changer
I first started it a few years ago, about your age.

I couldn’t be bothered with my GP faffing about with blood tests (which I know are meaningless) so paid for a specialist appt. And had a thorough hour long appt. Worth every penny. And got my HRT prescription.

HRT, melatonin, magnesium and audio playlist of calming sounds at night.

I love that brand!

I understand your concern about HRT, I wouldn't personally go that route either.

Sage helped with my hot flushes and magnesium the insomnia. A good diet definitely helps but it's worth getting your thyroid checked too.

HRT! What is it that worries you about that? It'll improve your health, physically and mentally in many way now and the benefits continue into the future.

HRT, weight training, and as much protein and water as you can get down your throat.

Thank you x

I have a feeling I use the same one - the brand is Sweet Bee

Yep...I hear what you are saying. HRT absolutely changed everything for me. I must say I never ever had a hot flush. I considered murdering my husband...at minimum divorcing him. All a bit odd because we were happily married. Ran red lights...didn't see them. I had the most dreadful hip pain that kept me awake at night. Brain fog so bad that I actually couldn't speak.

I had the really dry skin! No amount of moisturiser helped. I described myself as “scaly like a lizard” when I was explaining it to the GP 😂

Plus other similar symptoms to yours. I actually started thinking there was something seriously medically wrong with me and was sure I might collapse at some point. I thought maybe it was going to be very under active thyroid at first. I had seriously aching hips too, even when minimal exercise, and I was only 42.

Luckily I saw a very sensible young GP. He did bloods to check everything and nothing unusual came up. The hormone tests were fine but be said they were essentially meaningless anyway and I still had periods, so he prescribed on symptoms alone. It was all very straightforward and I haven’t looked back since I started: patches all the time plus tablets for two weeks a month. My hip pain went away within a week of starting the patches. I no longer have scaly legs either 😬

Do you buy this rub ready-made? Link please, if so!

As others have said please rule out anything else before assuming peri menopause.

Here I'd have to pay for a specialist because my GP wouldn't know. But if you're in a large surgery have a quiet word with an older receptionist who may well know who's good in this field.

Another one here who suffered pointlessly for too long through being worried about HRT. It made a tremendous difference when I did take it. I’ve never fully got rid of brain fog though. I would advise watching the Davina McCall programmes. There was something about some new research that looks like for some women there is damage that is irreversible and the sooner you start HRT the better. It may be nonsense of course but I so wish I had taken HRT straight away. My GP was lovely and said I could have HRT if I wanted but he preferred to try other things first and having been told at the birth control clinic earlier in my life that hormonal contraceptives were not good for migraine sufferers and HRT would be the same I just went along with it. Came away with fluoxetine and zopiclone! Seems unbelievable now. If only I had been young enough to benefit from Davina’s experiences…,

Sounds like typical perimenopause symptoms.

I got through it without HRT via swimming and yoga. But worth considering HRT, as I believe it helps many women.

I’ve found it great on the other side. But again, everyone’s experience is different.

I'm with you here and have to say I'm totally confused. I'm just coming up to 42 and think perimenopause may have started. In the last 12-15 months my periods have gone from super regular every 28 days to anything from 23-35 ish so still regular ish but different for me. Teamed with really dry skin that I've never had, insomnia (again, never had this) - it's actually more waking at anything from 2.30-4am, some facial hair issues (slight and I'm fair luckily) and so much fatigue. Never ever napped in my life and now I feel almost a real deep need to sleep in the day. I'm so uneducated re menopause / peri though. I didn't think you were prescribed HRT until menopause was certain? Gosh I really need to get clued up.

I suffered with all your symptoms op for far too many years. I’m now on HRT patches and I wish I’d done it earlier, I’m so much happier and calmer.