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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think it's not school's decision?

110 replies

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:08

Somehow I got volunteered to organise the Year 6 Leaver's hoodies. When I looked into it there was a discount available if we ordered by 31st January, so seemed perfect. I got a shop setup everyone ordered on time. I got the order delivered to school because it seemed easier. It was due to arrive in half term so I got it rescheduled. I let the secretary know they would arrive this Monday.

I told my daughter they were coming Monday and she was excited. No hoodie when I came home yesterday. I've been told today that the children can't have their hoodies until May. The parents paid for the hoodies, so AIBU to think that school can't decide when the children get their hoodies? I realise it's their decision when the hoodies can be worn at school. Other schools get them early on and wear them for the entire year. We've never been told that there is time they aren't allowed to wear the hoodies before.

Would I be unreasonable to ask the school to give the hoodies to either myself or the children. We'll agree that the children won't wear them to school before the date the head stipulates. In hindsight I should have just got them delivered to my address.

OP posts:
Dery · 25/02/2025 23:00

“pinkroses79 · Today 22:09

Our Leaver's hoodies have always been given out close to the end of year. That seemed ok to me, and made it seem part of the celebrations. The order didn't even have to be in until April though, so I'd never really considered what it might be like to wear them so early on, it's just never been a thing at our schools.”

This was my experience too.

And both my DDs have continued to wear their leavers’ hoodies (and in my elder DD’s case, also her BF’s leavers’ hoodie) in the years since leaving. That said, their leavers’ hoodies were for the end of secondary so they’d done pretty much all their growing. I can see how a primary school leavers’ hoodie could be quickly outgrown. But for me, they are leavers’ hoodies and get handed out close to the end of final term. It seems a bit off for them to be given out sooner.

MotherJessAndKittens · 25/02/2025 22:57

They are the year off/leaver of 00/00/00 for the whole school year till they go so what's the point of not being able to wear them? Long way off this but seriously spend whatever amount to wear for a couple of months???

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 22:56

Nikii83 · 25/02/2025 22:54

My kids school are miserable won’t let them have leavers hoodies at all

They can’t actually stop you. Only say they can’t wear them at school and I guess not let you use the logo. If a parent organises it all outside school what can they do?

OP posts:
GravyBoatWars · 25/02/2025 22:56

The communication seems lacking on both sides and I'm not really clear how this was all conceived.

You say you "got volunteered" but by who? Random parents chatting? Or is this done through a formal school-linked organization? Do they use the official school logo? And was there really zero communication on either side about when they should be ordered for and when students would get to wear them?

When were they given out in previous years and how? Have the school always held them to give out on a specific date/milestone or did they get given out as soon as they came in last year?

BogRollBOGOF · 25/02/2025 22:55

DS2's class were able to wear theirs one day per week from Easter which meant they actually got some use before they left and mentally moved on.

DS1's class weren't allowed to wear them until the last minute which was beautifully timed for 40⁰C weather 🙄

MsCrawford · 25/02/2025 22:54

In my child's school we order (parents- but with the schools permission) the hoodies at the end of year 5, ready to be worn for the whole of year 6. It's an interesting thread as it seems our school is in the minority doing it this way.

Nikii83 · 25/02/2025 22:54

My kids school are miserable won’t let them have leavers hoodies at all

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 22:51

unsurenow2025 · 25/02/2025 22:27

If a member of staff told you is that not the school telling you?

Agree if you were just expecting them to hand out the hoodies for you cos you couldn’t be arsed they can decide when they do it.

Why is it only half the class? That might be why they don’t want everyone to have theirs yet, so the kids who couldn’t buy one don’t feel bad.

I let them know it was being delivered there they could have told me not to. Or they could have said it had arrived and I’d have given them out.

The other half of the class is year 5 so if it’s too early for year 6 it’s far too early for year 5. All year 6 have ordered a hoodie.

OP posts:
GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 22:47

DaniMontyRae · 25/02/2025 22:26

Is that member of staff not part of the school?

Yes but she’s only telling me because she’s my friend. I’ve not been told officially.

OP posts:
Drfosters · 25/02/2025 22:45

That’s super sad. Having organised the hoodies myself it is quite an endeavour.
at my children’s school we had to order them at the start of year 6 as they got them in time for their residential week. They then were allowed to wear them all year instead of their school jumper. They were coloured the same shade as the uniform though. It made the year 6’s feel like the top of the school and they were super proud of their hoodies!

Yerblues · 25/02/2025 22:45

I would go to the school and ask for them. Say you need to check the right ones have arrived/sizing/names spelled correctly etc. they can hardly refuse.

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 22:44

DaniMontyRae · 25/02/2025 22:25

If the school has a uniform policy then surely they have communicated - if you want special dispensation for the year 6 class then it is on you to ask. The communication here was your responsibility.

How were the school to know when, or even if, some unknown parent was going to order hoodies?

Edited

The fact that year 6 have leavers hoodies every year might have given it away. In previous years they have been ordered when someone decided to do it. This year is no different. I had communicated with the school as I asked the teachers out of courtesy if they wanted one.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 25/02/2025 22:44

Threaten to take the school to the small claims court. That won't look good for them. Report them to your local authority and local council.

Mumwithbaggage · 25/02/2025 22:42

We order ours as a school so they can wear them from about Nov/Dec - tiny school and they are the same colour as the jumpers otherwise they just don't get a chance to wear them. It's a bit like a Y6 uniform. Parents don't pay for them at our school - they are a gift to the children.

Sunat45degrees · 25/02/2025 22:38

Melancholyflower · 25/02/2025 22:10

Over £28? Where are your school ordering them from that they cost that much?

I have no idea. That's what we paid for DS'. Surrey if that makes a difference - I'm convinced that always adds to the price! Grin

Mileska · 25/02/2025 22:31

I think as soon as you decided the school were to assist you in taking delivery of them, for your own ease and convenience, you effectively handed them over. You even say you 'let them know' rather than 'asked then politely to support'.

This isn't the school's responsibility to organise, but you've included them and staff have dealt with it on your behalf, during working hours and in their professional capacity.

The deadline was an agreement for the benefit of the company (ensure orders) and the parents (lock in discount), but the hoodies are for when the children leave the school. It would be hugely disruptive for school to enable any sort of winding down for the end of the year / celebration of the end of an era... in February.

Kaybee50 · 25/02/2025 22:30

I got roped into organising my daughter’s class leavers hoodies. We gave them out around April time but school wouldn’t let them wear them until after may half term - so lots of very sweaty kids in them in June / July! (I could barely get mine off my daughter yet to wash!!) School should definitely let you have them if you have paid for them.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 25/02/2025 22:29

ThreeMagicNumber · 25/02/2025 22:27

Yes but they could be allowed them so they can wear them outwith school, since it's the parents who are paying for them. As op also said she would be happy with.

But then at the end of the year the excitement about them will gone and it will no longer feel part of the leavers experience. Some may be lost or damaged by that point.

ThreeMagicNumber · 25/02/2025 22:27

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 25/02/2025 22:25

You can roll your eyes but the decline in behaviour seems to be mentioned quite a bit in this thread so is likely true and a genuine concern for teachers

Yes but they could be allowed them so they can wear them outwith school, since it's the parents who are paying for them. As op also said she would be happy with.

unsurenow2025 · 25/02/2025 22:27

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:49

Actually the most annoying thing is that the school haven't bothered to tell me that there is an issue. I've had to hear via another member of staff.

If a member of staff told you is that not the school telling you?

Agree if you were just expecting them to hand out the hoodies for you cos you couldn’t be arsed they can decide when they do it.

Why is it only half the class? That might be why they don’t want everyone to have theirs yet, so the kids who couldn’t buy one don’t feel bad.

DaniMontyRae · 25/02/2025 22:26

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:49

Actually the most annoying thing is that the school haven't bothered to tell me that there is an issue. I've had to hear via another member of staff.

Is that member of staff not part of the school?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 25/02/2025 22:25

ThreeMagicNumber · 25/02/2025 22:14

Our schools done this for the last ten years and it annoys the parents. They don't get them till almost the end of term because the headteacher has said there was a marked decline in behaviour when they get them earlier in the year and wear them to school 🙄

You can roll your eyes but the decline in behaviour seems to be mentioned quite a bit in this thread so is likely true and a genuine concern for teachers

DaniMontyRae · 25/02/2025 22:25

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:48

If school have a rule that the kids can't wear hoodies before a certain time then this should be communicated to the parents, before they have ordered hoodies. The kids are involved in ordering because they chose the colour and their nickname fore the back. So have some idea that they will arrive soon.

If the school has a uniform policy then surely they have communicated - if you want special dispensation for the year 6 class then it is on you to ask. The communication here was your responsibility.

How were the school to know when, or even if, some unknown parent was going to order hoodies?

ThreeMagicNumber · 25/02/2025 22:24

This thread just made me check parent portal to see if ours were available to be paid for yet and was there to be paid so thanks reminding me to check. Payment due by end of March and it's £15.70 for ours so yours seems expensive!

brunettemic · 25/02/2025 22:24

Well obviously they need to give them to you but it sounds like you’re expecting the school to do a job you’ve volunteered to do. You freely admit you got them delivered there to make things more convenient for you as you didn’t want to have to get them from somewhere yourself. You also say the school haven’t had involvement in them so it’s really not up to them to hand them out.