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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's not school's decision?

110 replies

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:08

Somehow I got volunteered to organise the Year 6 Leaver's hoodies. When I looked into it there was a discount available if we ordered by 31st January, so seemed perfect. I got a shop setup everyone ordered on time. I got the order delivered to school because it seemed easier. It was due to arrive in half term so I got it rescheduled. I let the secretary know they would arrive this Monday.

I told my daughter they were coming Monday and she was excited. No hoodie when I came home yesterday. I've been told today that the children can't have their hoodies until May. The parents paid for the hoodies, so AIBU to think that school can't decide when the children get their hoodies? I realise it's their decision when the hoodies can be worn at school. Other schools get them early on and wear them for the entire year. We've never been told that there is time they aren't allowed to wear the hoodies before.

Would I be unreasonable to ask the school to give the hoodies to either myself or the children. We'll agree that the children won't wear them to school before the date the head stipulates. In hindsight I should have just got them delivered to my address.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 26/02/2025 03:27

Gogogo12345 · 26/02/2025 03:01

Yes you would think t shirts would be better . Mire weather suitable and less costly

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Yes agreed my dd wore hers twice it was given so late. What a waste. I hope you get the hoodies op. I understand you’re cross as they’ve made assumptions. From the school’s pov, they may also be cross as you did the same.

Milosc · 26/02/2025 03:15

Schools do not have extra staff available to immediately open a box the day they arrive and hand them out. Most teachers don't have time to visit the loo let alone do extra unnecessary work such as this. It is not an urgent task for them.

You also really don't know when they will be given out. You are taking the word of your friend who unless they are the head they probably do not really know everything. It's only been two days. Give them some time to sort it out before getting yourself all worked up about it.

Gogogo12345 · 26/02/2025 03:01

Hooliewhat · 25/02/2025 23:20

If they are given out late, the weather will be too warm to wear the hoodies! Mine wore his once only. He had outgrown it by the following autumn.

Yes you would think t shirts would be better . Mire weather suitable and less costly

Original poster
GlitteryRainbow · 26/02/2025 02:41

Milosc · 26/02/2025 00:23

Of course the school set them aside for now. They are busy running a school not a hoodie distribution service. The students aren't leaving yet and that is the purpose to commemorate their leaving and transitioning. The minute you involved the school being the delivery point you made them a part of the decision. That is all on you and you should respect their decision. YABVU

I respect their decision that the kids can’t wear the hoodies in school until they decide. However, I don’t respect their decision that the kids can’t wear the hoodies outside school until they decide. When I mentioned the delivery to the secretary she said she’d let the teacher know to expect them so they could be given out so I don’t see how I’m being very unreasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
GlitteryRainbow · 26/02/2025 02:36

ReginaTucker · 26/02/2025 00:37

Is it a private school OP?

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No it’s not a private school. It’s just a Primary school in a village and happens to be small.

OP posts:
ReginaTucker · 26/02/2025 00:37

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 21:43

There's half a class and they come with name labels on, that was part of the ordering process. They could just put the box by the door and let the kids pick theirs out on the way out. Or they could have given it to one of the year 6 parents to give out. I don't think that they will be manhandling a box with 13 hoodies in it. I'm not taking my child's word for it, I've heard directly from a member of staff.

Is it a private school OP?

Milosc · 26/02/2025 00:23

Of course the school set them aside for now. They are busy running a school not a hoodie distribution service. The students aren't leaving yet and that is the purpose to commemorate their leaving and transitioning. The minute you involved the school being the delivery point you made them a part of the decision. That is all on you and you should respect their decision. YABVU

Coffeeteasugar · 25/02/2025 23:52

I think the deal should be that if you want the kids to have their hoodies now, you come and teach them until July, with hoodies. That way you can see how so many of them behave once this physical reminder that they are leaving is given out.

Cheshireflamingo · 25/02/2025 23:37

My kids' school give out the leavers' hoodies in October when y6 go on their residential and they're allowed to wear them as their school jumper from then on.
The PTA pays for one hoodie per child and there is an option for parents to buy extra, as they're being worn every day for 9 months.

TheFormidableMrsC · 25/02/2025 23:37

LittleMousewithcloggson · 25/02/2025 22:24

Not quite the point of the threat but…
mine wore theirs and then had the part with the leavers names on made into a cushion cover with the school logo and year on the other side
Still in their bedrooms as teens

That is such a good idea. I'm going to suggest that to my son.

TheFormidableMrsC · 25/02/2025 23:35

Our school were pretty good with allowing them to be worn. However, they didn't get them until after Sats and there were occasions they weren't allowed to wear them. My biggest regret was not buying an adult size for my son who had a massive growth spurt and couldn't wear his at all beyond the beginning of the summer holidays. They do come up small IMO so bear that in mind. He was bitterly disappointed and despite now being in year 9, he's kept it for memories 🙈.

My favourite memory of the hoodies was the parent who shouted at me because her son didn't have one. Like it was my fault. I was also just a parent, No she hadn't checked her emails so she didn't know she had to order.

OP, I'd get them off the school now because you want them to have some wear out of them.

GravyBoatWars · 25/02/2025 23:31

Oh for heaven's sake.

Talk to whoever in SLT is most likely to hold the decision on this. Tell them you didn't realize that they would be held and explain that you had thought the students would be given the hoodies when they arrived and why you think that would be better than waiting. And listen to their reasons for waiting, because there are good reasons for both approaches. Then see if there's a collaborative solution. Perhaps ask that the hoodies be distributed at the end of Spring term, or that they go out early this year and next year if the school is set on a May tradition then a more summer-appropriate option is offered. Sure, parents could probably legally demand to claim them as their purchased property but why on earth would you jump to that when this is supposed to be an exciting school tradition?

If this is something organized through an official school organization with the school logo, they're usually allowed as a special dress code exception, and it was organized with school communications then it's not unreasonable for them to view this as a parent volunteer taking charge of this school activity on their behalf, rather than parents going in on school hoodies independently. If the school sees the handing out of hoodies as a school event (particularly one that probably has some tradition and meaning attached) then it's unreasonable for one parent volunteer to unilaterally decide how it will be done. And from their perspective they may simply be following their normal routine - a parent volunteer is asked to order them, they're delivered whenever that parent gets around to it and held, and the hoodies are handed out in May. Why would they have told you there's a problem in that case?

EdithBond · 25/02/2025 23:29

I agree, ask for the package, so you can check the order.

Then, email the school to ask whether they’re allowed to wear them in school - and when.

AuntAgathaGregson · 25/02/2025 23:25

TooManyNiblings · 25/02/2025 21:35

We haven't even ordered ours yet!!
I think your mistake was having them delivered to school, I think schools take ownership at that point and will keep hold until they see fit to distribute.

Receiving a delivery doesn't give the school ownership.

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 25/02/2025 23:23

Codlingmoths · 25/02/2025 23:09

Absolutely - go and collect them. The school didn’t order them or pay for them, it’s theft if they don’t give them to you.

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I should think the school office will be happy to get rid.

Hooliewhat · 25/02/2025 23:20

If they are given out late, the weather will be too warm to wear the hoodies! Mine wore his once only. He had outgrown it by the following autumn.

Noideawhatimdoing40 · 25/02/2025 23:13

My son’s class got theirs at the end of the leavers assembly on the last day of term and it was afternoon by then 🙄🙄

Codlingmoths · 25/02/2025 23:09

GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 23:07

That’s my plan for tomorrow morning.

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Absolutely - go and collect them. The school didn’t order them or pay for them, it’s theft if they don’t give them to you.

Original poster
GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 23:07

Yerblues · 25/02/2025 22:45

I would go to the school and ask for them. Say you need to check the right ones have arrived/sizing/names spelled correctly etc. they can hardly refuse.

That’s my plan for tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
Lovelysummerdays · 25/02/2025 23:05

I think the leavers hoodie is quite a big deal. I know in our school they’ve been ordered and just waiting for delivery. We paid half and ppg paid half. I’ve made the suggestion that someone speaks to head about allowing them to be worn in school. In all honesty they don’t seem to wear much uniform in p7 (Scotland) although they do in lower years.

Ryeman · 25/02/2025 23:04

Sunat45degrees · 25/02/2025 21:59

This annoys the shit out f me. For practical reasons. Year 6 is ridiculously expensive with all the extras, including the hoodies. I ahve NO problem with the school not wanting hoodies worn at school.. I DO have a problem with forking over £28 for a hoodie my child then wears for half a term. Because they DON'T wear them after they leave. Maybe, if you're lucky, over the summer holiday. But once they hit high school, that's it, never again. when DD hits year 6 I will be lobbying for hoodies that are produced earlier!

We got ours early for this reason - near the start of year 6 I think. But round here kids don’t seem to get to wear them to school, only on mufti days or year 6 residential for example. So the school didn’t care when they were given out.

Original poster
GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 23:04

sunshineandshowers40 · 25/02/2025 21:56

Have they not all got a hoodie? I'm sure we all paid a bit more to cover families who couldn't/didn't pay, so everyone had one.

If you paid for them school should give them to you. Most local primary schools here give them out after SATs, they are allowed to wear them to school (hoodie is in the school's colour) but behaviour does become trickier to manage!

Yes each of the year 6s has a hoodie. There was provision if a family couldn’t afford it. We are a very small school.

OP posts:
KIlliePieMyOhMy · 25/02/2025 23:02

Viviennemary · 25/02/2025 22:44

Threaten to take the school to the small claims court. That won't look good for them. Report them to your local authority and local council.

wow

Vickim03 · 25/02/2025 23:02

In our school year 6 hoodies get ordered 1 week after they start year 6! Due to timings and organising they get them early October and can be worn all year. We used to do it later but felt they didn't get much wear out of them towards the end of the year due to the weather being warmer. They will only really fit in them this year! I believe year 5 have got their order ready to have the hoodies from day 1 of year 6. It's all organised by parents (me this year!) but school helped with collecting money in and sizing, making actual ordering easier (and the school pay the invoice) I didn't have to handle the money. I did have to collect them as the uniform shop we have to go through isn't nearby (we are furthest school they supply) the kids love their hoodies, they are logo'd and in our school colour (navy) perhaps get a collective group of parents together to fight this... power in numbers.

Original poster
GlitteryRainbow · 25/02/2025 23:02

PicaK · 25/02/2025 21:52

If you make school hand them out - and parents have paid for them - they have to do it properly or they'll get the flack if one goes missing.
And even if only 15 hoodies, it's still a bulky parcel.
Sounds like you have little appreciation of the office staff at all or respect for the Head. It's not school uniform so of course the Head will say when it's allowed to be worn.

I fully appreciate the head and the lady in the school office. I’m very involved with the school. I volunteered there last year when I was off work.

The head can totally say when the hoodies can be worn in school. I have no problem with that but the kids know the hoodies are there. They should be given out to wear outside school as the time they will wear them for is limited.

OP posts: