What's the worst thing someone did when you had a baby?

ExH & ex PILs
We lived in a 3 bed house
Expecting twins we turned bed 2 into the nursery. Bed 3 was an odd shape but fitted 2 single beds.
Babies born by CS & we were in hospital 10 days. Parents & friends visited. We were v clear with family that we would go home & spend ExHs paternity leave at home getting used to be a family.

Pull in to drive looking forward to being home with DTs & MIL opens the front door & welcomes me into my own home!!!
Babies are asleep so I v determinley state ggat they'll go straight into nursery to continue to sleep. Only to find that the nursery no longer existed because MIL had dismantled it because she couldn't possibly sleep in a single bed.

Babies were put down to sleep in cot in our bedroom.

I then went upstairs & totally lost it.
Told EXh & PIL they could go and reinstate the nursery & spare room then leave never to return unless invited OR I would call my parents & tell them what had happened & ask them to come & collect me & Babies to go & stay with them and I would ensure that they never saw their grandchildren again.

MIL (manipulative bitch) promptly cried and went on about only wanting to help & be there for us
Because I was so distraught that she had (yet again).ruined what should have been a lovely family time I brought up all our interactions where she had been rude, unwelcoming, nasty & mean to me ending with "if I wanted help why would she think I'd ask her & not my own mother, who loves me, supports me & doesn't judge me"

They put everything back & then she demanded lunch & to see the twins & I just laughed at her and made them leave.

Looking back this was the beginning of the end for my marriage - not once did exh stand up for me & his children. He even tri3d to convince me to let them see the babies before they left - I wouldn't because I felt it would reward her bad behaviour.
Exh was like FIL; weak willed & easily lead.

I never saw MIL again whilst we were married

FIL refused to put his massive new dog in the kitchen while we called round when DC was 2 weeks old. It kept coming over trying to lick his face. When me and DH tried to stop it from happening we were told to stop being mean to the dog😒 He (fil) wouldn’t listen so safe to say we left early

I’m much happier than if I’d stayed with that sorry excuse for a man! Thank you.

SIL and FIL sneaking into the delivery suite to visit newborn DS. I bumped into them in my hospital gown on my way to have a shower. SIL wanted to know why there was a big stain up the wall - it was my blood! Totally inappropriate and it felt like a huge invasion of my privacy.

I LOVE your username.
Honestly it used to drive me insane.

Lol yes. Love this.

I was in hospital for nearly a week with DC1.
Things my (thank fuck now ex) ILs did.
once i was finally allowed home (not sure if it was the same day, or the day after) they moaned that I hadn't made sure I has things in fir them to eat. The also bitched and moaned that i didn't make dinner for anyone and told DP that he'd made a mistake having a baby with me.

SIL Arranged with the family she nannied for to take my DC with her as "baby will be better off with someone with a childcare qualification. You can go to work"

Told DP they didn’t think DC was his as "no one in our family is blonde"

When DC2 was born they told me they knew I'd get PND this time around as I wouldn't cope with 2 DC, and they were amazed I hadn't had it before. I actually did end up with PND, and was so ashamed I didn't seek help until I was suicidal.

Oh @Tropea. Those kind of things stay with you forever.

I hope you are living a happy life now.

@cadburyegg

You are still married?

Omg my in laws said the same thing! Told my dh that he should use his paternity leave to get the garden ready for spring and then started trying to plan a hill walk. He couldn’t understand when my dh said no that he wanted to spend all of his time with us. Regretfully they gave us covid and ruined his paternity leave meaning the grass wasnt cut for a long time!

I would feel like they'd disrespected me by sharing news that wasn't theirs, but mostly I hate getting lots of texts to reply to and would find that overwhelming.

This thread is bonkers - I’m so sorry for all of you who have these awful family members. It’s a really hard read to hear how badly you have been treated when you were so vulnerable.

Jesus, just reading this almost gave me an anxiety attack! Absolutely outrageous of them, as was the comment about not "sharing" the baby like they are some commodity! Glad to hear they're now your Ex in-laws, hope life is more peaceful and less stressful without them.

When I had ds prematurely my mother shocked me by saying she will look after dd who was 3 as we needed to be at the hospital a lot as I was kept in for 3 days after. My sister lived at home with my mother.
on day 4 I was discharged late (8pm) and went home with dh and cried leaving ds in nicu. I called my mum to tell her her and then 10 mins later she called back - my dd had gone to sleep as usual at 730 pm but my sister (who was 24 !) had a tantrum and said if I was home then she was going to wake dd and we had to pick her up as why were they babysitting when we were both home ?? She was hateful and dd was woken and confused and took ages to settle back
at home and I had to pump through the night and then the next day we couldn’t go to nicu together so dh had to drop the breastmilk off and we had to keep swapping over as it was during swine flu and children weren’t allowed on the unit

Close relative was extremely vocal and scathing about the babies name. Also a colleague kept talking about how the pregnancy was so difficult for her to witness due to her own experiences and talked about miscarriage/ stillborn extremely close to my due to date. Terribly terribly sad but slightly inconsiderate.

Why did you meet at a cafe and not her home?

After having a very stressful high risk pregnancy during Covid which meant I was isolating from everyone my in laws refused to test ( I didn’t know this beforehand) visited and gave us the gift of covid. My dh caught it first and had to isolate from myself and our one week old baby. I had an infection after my c section and was told to be on bed rest but I had tk do all the feeds, nappy changes etc on my own as well as sort meals for my dh and I. Plus keeping the place sterilised. We tried our best to keep it from the baby but we both caught it and I was Incredibly unwell and terrified for out little one.
The in laws still don’t understand the big deal over it all.

DF came to visit when DS was a week.old. I'd had a traumatic crash CS under general, been kept in hospital for 5 days, and was feeling utterly lousy from the operation and lack of sleep.
DCousin and wife (both lovely) had also popped into visit but could see I was wilting and were about to head off. DF decided now was the time to throw a party to celebrate newborn DGS and made a big song and dance about getting out a bottle of champagne. I was about to collapse with exhaustion. Luckily DCousin read the room better and declined, and stuck to plan to head off. Still cross at DF for being so utterly insensitive to my needs.

Shame? That's harsh what year was it?
💐

My boyfriend and I took our newborn from Newcastle to Keighley to meet my boyfriends parents. We met Grandma in a cafe at lunch time. After we'd been there an hour she stands up to leave because her lunch hour was over and she was back to work. Unbelievable. Who does that?

Wow. That literally makes no sense at all. I’m sorry your parents were like that. Utterly bizarre.

I’m not saying you’re wrong - I just genuinely don’t get it.

I have shared those pictures with people who wanted to see them happily. They’re just picture (to me).

Mum visited me and baby once, then disappeared into a narcissistic identity crisis and didn't speak to me for months.

I appreciate this is small fry compared to the other stories on this thread! But I wish people wouldn't forward texts. Especially not of half naked people who have just been through hell (however happy it is ultimately).

Quite simply,because he could

My mother is a narc and he enables her

She must have said something about upstairs being a bit untidy,(which it was-i hold my hands up to that but im talking a few toys and a pile of clothes that needed to be put away) which in his head meant 'dump all her crap down the stairs' which led to everything being thrown down it

He thought he was a genius and was 'helping' by dumping everything we owned (that lived upstairs) down them (it wouldn't have entered his spiteful head to just get the kids to put away their toys and pop the clothes away)

It doesn't make sense at all but that's my parents for you-nasty,narcissistic and spiteful-I'm the scapegoat

It didn't get any better until I went nc with them