What's the worst thing someone did when you had a baby?

My narcissistic MIL just made awful comments all the time. I really struggled with breastfeeding DS1 and she commented all the time that "her milk just flowed" and her children slept through the night at a few weeks old.

She also commented on my weight and kept saying how skinny she is.

None of this is surprising though as she's a generally unkind person it this was very hurtful at the time.

my early baby was taken to the SCBU while I slept. I had to ask to see him after 24. hours, as no one offered, and was taken to visit.

I was bewildered to be met by the sister in charge, who explained that they weren’t expecting me to come and see my baby as I was giving him up for adoption.

Was too staggered to say anything very coherent, as this was news to me.
It turned out that my mother had been into the hospital overnight and told them I didn’t want to keep him and was having him adopted.
Luckily for me, they needed my signature.

DD2 was a sole surviving twin. We'd known since the 20 week scan that twin 2 had a heart condition that meant she'd die soon after birth.

First of all when checking in, midwife said ooh twins how lovely. I put her right pretty quickly by suggesting she read notes first especially as I was on a special care trajectory. Told her I'd only be leaving hospital with one live baby and one would die.

Much worse was evil mil (now NC) who had seen a baby who had survived a while with our baby's prognosis. Told dh that as we obviously weren't up to dealing with a sick baby she'd look after her as we didn't want to. So so not the case, very obviously. We had honestly had all the up to date medical info from King's/Guy's etc not the Daily Mail but oh no she knew better. So unbelievably hurtful.

All nearly 30 years ago now but it has taught me never to judge and to listen carefully to other people's point of view.

My FIL walked into the delivery room shortly after I’d given birth. I think the staff must of thought he was my husband and let him in. I was alone in the room (my husband had popped out to get something to eat)
I still had blood on my legs, with just a sheet over and was trying to breast feed. I had to be firm and tell him I wasn’t ready for visitors.

Came straight home from the delivery suite. Partners family arrived within 5 minutes. His step Dad took a load of camera photos of newborn DD having her nappy changed. First time mum, I'd been upstairs having a wee tipping a jug of water down myself. Came down just as partners step dad was all up in there taking a photo with a digital camera. I shouted. I was in severe pain from tearing and I'd literally come home straight from the delivery suite. No sleep after 26 hours of labour. He said he was doing nothing. Never did see those photos, he never went near her without supervision again.
Partner thought nothing of it but my anger has still not subsided 13 years later.
As it turned out DD's "DF" disappeared
5 years ago, along with all of his family, who were only ever a blip in her life.
She's 13 and none of that side have seen her since she was 7. Lucky escape in the end.

I gave birth during Covid so was alone in the ward afterwards - my mother came up to visit - hadn't put photos up / announced name yet as baby hadn't met my eldest child (who couldn't come to the hospital due to their rules)
Before she had even walked out the hospital she had messaged her best friend all the details of baby - with a picture of ..... I found this out after my eldest saw it on her phone when she got home.

I went low contact and stayed in my house for 3 weeks not seeing anyone at all after that.
Am still low contact now as she cannot keep to my boundaries regarding both the children.

My exMiL used to live across the road from us. Literally across the road.

My DD2 (ex's DD1) was a screamer. She'd scream for hours, sleep for a hour and then start screaming again.

She settled down eventually but my ex used to pop into his Mum's for a cuppa (for cuppa read "a couple of beers") and she would tell him all about how many hours I'd "left the baby screaming" and about how she was so worried I must have gone out and left her alone. Ex would harass and harass me about it, believing his Mum. It was Gaslighting 101.

Until one day we'd had a day out with my elder DD and the baby. I popped into his Mum's with him and heard her in the kitchen telling him about the screaming that had gone on all day long, that she thought he should leave me and move into hers with the baby. I took great delight in pointing out that we'd been out ALL DAY so whatever baby she heard screaming wasn't ours! There was no screaming baby, she just wanted the ex to come "home" and bring DD2 with him.

Same woman who told me after our son died at 24 weeks pregnant that I'd killed him because I didn't want a boy (??)

and

When I was pg with our youngest told me that I'd need to have a prenatal DNA test done because SHE didn't believe I was faithful to my ex. When the baby was born, she stormed out and refused to have anything to do with us because the baby had blue eyes and "all of OUR babies have brown eyes". Ex took her side in everything, gaslit me from here to kingdom come until one night, I'd just had enough and sent him home to Mummy.

I have blue eyes - DS was two days old at the time - and still has blue eyes now.

Thankfully I left Ex when DS was 11 weeks old and was NC with her from then on.

The day I heard she'd died I danced up the street singing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead on my way to pick the kids up from school.

Left me

caught my baby's father shagging a work colleague in our bed, our baby was about 2 months old. I had been out for a couple of hours to see a friend, she had "popped round to see the lovely baby" and the poor things just could not resist each other!

My husband got angry in the car on the way home from the hospital because the baby started crying and I wanted him to stop the car so I could sit in the back with him.

I hadn't been able to sit in the back because his daughter had wanted to sit with the baby.
I was crying and the baby was crying but he only pulled over when his daughter asked him to.

He was bringing me home from a days long induction and emergency C-section to a house with no heating because the boiler had broken and he was waiting for me to get back and fix it. And no food in because he'd been drowning his sorrows over having a boy/baby for the last 2 days while I was in hospital. We were going to get a takeaway apparently. Oh and he'd lost the house keys so we had to wait for a locksmith too.

Luckily my parents came. My dad sorted the boiler and dinner and my mum helped me unpack and sort the bedroom. I don't know what I would have done without them.

As you can probably tell the bullshit behaviour didn't end there.

I came out of hospital to find MIL had installed herself in our home for the next two weeks. On that first night home with new DD MIL insisted that we all go out to a pub for dinner. I can't believe I went and took DD, at just 2 days old. Then MIL threw a tantrum in the pub because there was nothing she fancied on the menu and dragged us to a better restaurant. I was almost in tears either exhaustion.
It had to be all about her.

Well she had to go back to work! You want her to be dismissed?

OMG....I can't believe what I've been reading on here- soo sad and shocking most of the stories! :(

A very nasty nurse actually made me cry because she refused to allow me to hold my own new baby. She insisted all babies had to stay in the nursery except when they were being fed. I'll never forget her yelling at me to stop ringing the bell because she was not going to bring my baby to my room and then self righteously reprimanding me, "we don't want our babies spoiled!"

Why do people do this? I specifically instructed my DP not to give out any medical details at all. Yet I found myself in active labour (so unable to think straight or protest) hearing him say shit like "She's 5 cm dilated" to our parents on the phone. Makes me angry to this day.

The Bounty lady ripped my curtain open without asking. I was lying on the bed with my legs apart on a few waterproof pads. I'd had an episiotomy and bad tear. I'd had dozens of stitches. The midwife made me lie down to air them while I fed my son. She'd pinned a note asking staff to ask before entering. The Bounty lady opened the curtain and asked if I had my pack of freebies. The lady across the way had an out of hours visitor who saw everything. The MW went ape shit at her.😆

I overheard MIL on the phone telling FIL all about my 3rd degree tear and how I had to go to theatre to have my privates stitched up.

For one of my births the baby’s dad went out a week later to wet the baby’s head and slept with someone else before coming home to us. That wasn’t great.

For another my MIL, who was not invited to the birth, turned up at the birth, and the first I knew about it was when she ran in just minutes before my baby was born excitedly shouting she’d brought the towels! (She had in fact brought a stack of towels)

And one of them my boss told me not to bother coming back as I had no job to come back to and I wouldn’t be getting my last months pay or any maternity pay so I had better make other plans. That was when my baby was about 18 hours old.

Some of these 😱😭 and most from family members too

I had my first DC 450 miles away from my hometown, rushed home and emailed my mother a photo of newborn DD to be informed she looked awfully fat and ginger. I also looked terrible with my spotty skin (burst blood vessels from pushing). Got criticised for breastfeeding and that I was starving the poor baby and being selfish not letting anyone else feed her.

A close relative kicked off an argument about money when my DD was in NICU and we weren’t sure whether she’d pull through (or whether she would have a life limiting illness if she did).

Thankyou!🩵🤞🏽

Not as traumatic as most PPs but my then husband invited all our mates round some with girlfriends, on the evening I came out of hospital with my first baby.
I had to go upstairs in the cold to breast feed whilst they semi partied downstairs. I often despair at the women on here who let in-laws and such walk all over them but there I was, I allowed it too....can hardly believe it now.

Oh yes. I ended up wasting so much food! Someone brought something spicy (I can't eat spicy food, it was the one thing i mentioned when asked if I had any dietary requirements) the other extreme was a dish made of plain boiled white rice and crumbled up chicken nuggets, couldn't eat that either, it made me gag! I lived off cereal.

My ex not giving a damn about us, haven't seen him since DS was less than a month old.

I'm due my c section tomorrow, first baby on both sides. PIL were pissed off when DH called them this evening and said that we do not expect to see them at the hospital tomorrow. They were fuming that they've been asked to wait until Thursday. Oh well😆😅