What's the worst thing someone did when you had a baby?

You really should get some social awareness training or something…

😂 that is wonderful. You both deserve it!

Oh, that is so awful. I am so sorry that happened to you. It sounds horrific. And so alien to me. I had a complex pregnancy and a child with issues.

I felt absolutely smothered by all this intervention piling on to put things in place when we were just surviving nicu. A lot of which was actually unnecessary when we got to that stage, as my baby totally flourished.

I know that it was really not expected that bjrth etc would go as well. I know we got lucky, but it was really terrifying. I felt like there would be a never ending involvement with medics and care providers but actually, we were all grand.

It feels weird to complain that the NHS were too much in their care of us. Many have different experiences and I am lucky I was cared for well. But it felt a bit much. After all the surgical stuff, we were ok and resources should be targeted elsewhere.

It is difficult to refuse intervention though, especially with a child with high needs.

Thank you. Funnily enough she’s turned out to be a spitting image of me (apparently)😁.

That is horrific. I am so sorry that happened to you. I hope you can see you and your family in your daughter now x

@Dogsbreath7 Yes same here. My horrendously difficult baby turned out to be autistic. I've since learned that's very common.

My mum announced the gender of our baby on social media before we had told anyone else. Even MIL and my siblings found out on Facebook.
She also complained about how dirty my toilet was after I got home with newborn after being in hospital for 3 days. Poor DH had been driving back and forth from home and hospital, cooking my mother meals and was surviving on very little sleep so hadn't prioritised toilet cleaning!

On maybe day two or three of being home after giving birth, I was sitting on the toilet in searing pain and in tears trying to have my first post partum poo, when DH came in the bathroom with the phone to say, "my mum's on the phone, she just wants a quick chat." Absolutely oblivious to the situation.

My daughter was born on a bright sunday morning. A few hours later my parents arrived at the maternity ward to see their first grandchild. By that time new nurses came on shift, and one of them congratulated me on my beautiful and healthy baby. My narcistic mother interrupted her rudely and said it was she who should be congratulated because without her that baby wouldn't be there now was it.

Not quite my story but...when my grandmother was informed my sister was born (first grandchild) - she cried as my sister was not a boy. I can only assume I created further disappointment when I was born.
Unsurprisingly we didn't have much of a relationship with her!

I'll be having an elective because my baby is poorly. If he said this to me, I think I'd have said "At least I'm not married to you." You've gotta feel for his partner: he sounds like the sort of guy who who make her feel like a failure for using pain relief, or if breastfeeding didn't work out.

This has got under my skin and brought back all my initial (and irrational!) feelings of inadequacy after my first labour "failed to progress."

Giving birth is a lottery and how it goes is down to luck. I don't give a shit how my little one arrives as long as it's safely and they're ok.

Me too but I was made to feel like a bad mother but none of these so called professionals recognise or acknowledge that this (poor sleep) could be an indicator of autism.

My MIL brought photos of my husband at the hospital to show how the baby looks like him!

The weirdest reaction ever.

I had my one and only baby by c-section. My hospital roommate had a male visitor and I don't know how the subject came up about my birth method but he told me "you took the easy way out". This after having a long labor, so not a planned operation.

After I got home from the hospital my brother and girlfriend visited. Naturally my stomach area was very tender and I couldn't move about without pain. All I heard throughout the visit was the girlfriend moaning about her period cramps.

I was still in hospital after having premature twins and FIL and MIL came to visit; we didn’t really get on very well. They were farmers and spent the whole of the visit sitting at the end of my bed arguing as to whether they should build a hen house 🤪

I would lower your expectations to meet their previous behaviour. Set firm boundaries before they arrive and give them a time limit as to leaving time ie, visit between 2-4. As for breastfeeding, state that loud and clear too.
if you become tired early, you and babe head to your room. Let hubby say goodbye.

My mum asked if I was keeping on top of everything in the house 2 weeks after I’d had a c-section, and never offered to do anything to help 🙃

MIL visiting from abroad … told me to take a rest upstairs after feeding newborn & she would watch the older 2 boys - 2 &4yrs old.

After baby feed & short rest, I came down stairs to MIL sitting in lounge knitting. Odd noises coming from kitchen which is down 5 steps from sitting room. In kitchen are the 2 boys skating around on the wood floor in a mess of soy sauce, rice, salt, various spices, baby formula powder, soap and water. Boys are filthy & mess considersble. I am saying all the things about what I see in a loud voice, stripping boys & cleaning them up & getting them out of kitchen and passing MIL on the way to their rooms.
I ask her how she let it happen? Wasn’t she watching! I explained the mess.
Her response:
I was very involved in knitting this baby cardigan for the other grandchild …. (That baby wasn’t due to be born for 5 months!!! )

She continued knitting & did not lift a finger to help me clean the kitchen mess. The soya sauce combo did stain the wood.

They could have set selves on fire, got hurt with knives or just left the house …

Total self centered lazy - no idea what her prob is.

My exH was awful with my first. Pleaded with me to have a second and I had DS. When I got home with him my ex decided he didn't want him after all and refused to have anything to do with him. He finally held him for the first time at six weeks old. He changed one nappy when DS was 14 months and never again.

Thank you, I'm free now, and I really am okay 💕

Screen shot the picture and put it all over face book congratulating us, before we told everyone!

She was a very needy attention seeking "pick me pick me" Look at me look at me kinda gal at the time!

My ex-sil came to visit me less than 12 hours after I gave birth, sat down, stinking of grease (from her greasy cafe job) and smoke and demanded that I give her my baby while I made her a cup of tea because she had been at work for 4 hours and was knackered. Then DH told her that she knew where the kettle and tea bags were kept

They sounds awful, I always say that people who visit soon after birth should only stay a very short amount of time unless they are willing to be helpful!
It's just so rude to expect to be waited on when someone's just given birth.
We stayed at my in laws house when my daughter was 5 months old, she was crying in the night and I was a bit panicked trying to put her on the nipple to calm her down because I didn't want to wake anyone up but she was rejecting the nipple, my MIL came into our bedroom whilst I was topless to berate us for waking people up.

My parents and relatives came the day after I got home from hospital, when another family member had just had a pregnancy loss. All somber faces and heavy sighs, offered to make them tea - 'no whole milk? No, then' - at one point one of them got up in the middle of the room and was pacing around talking loudly to our relative about the loss. I remember being in tears as it was an emotional time for everyone but I just felt no support or happiness from anyone during our first visit coming home from the hospital.

I was going to comment a similar story.

The amount of people who told me I was “lucky” that baby was in hospital in the nicu because I could go home and sleep. But actually I was visiting multiple times a day, had no time to recover from my c section. Couldn’t sleep at night because my tiny newborn was in hospital.

I actually had one friend tell me she was jealous because her first week was “so much harder” as all she was doing was sitting on sofa breastfeeding and didn’t have “help from hospital staff looking after baby”