Ex introducing new woman too soon

MN really opens my eyes that men really can’t be alone and some women desperately jump into fast relationships. Ick.

OP describes the marriage as having been dead for at least 10 years. It’s widely known that having children can test even the strongest marriages, so I don’t understand why anyone thinks they can save a failed one.

It’s obviously better to move slower and with more consideration than mindless haste but it’s done now. You got what you wanted and have dumped him, he’s got what he wants which is out of the marriage and with someone new. When you pull the plug as you did you can’t control what happens next. Hopefully school are keeping an eye on the kids and how they’re really doing.

And everything I’ve read or heard tells you to deal with these emotions before moving on.
I bet your ex will be putting the breakup behind him by finding a new interest but surely he’ll hurt at some point.
children just judge people on who gives them attention, they don’t understand. I think your ex is daft for moving on so quickly and I sympathise with you.

Why so judgemental? I had children. I was unhappy in my marriage but I stayed married because I realise not everything is rosy behind closed doors. I thought I’d wait until the children were grown up to lead my own life as I put them first! Anyway the decision to split was made for me in the end as he cheated.
when you’re going through separation it’s so hard, especially when there’s a new partner who makes you feel to have low self esteem, not pretty enough, not good enough etc, I think it’s easy for those who have found happiness post divorce to forget how hard it is when you’re in it.

Goodness me, not this old chestnut again.

Honestly, this sounds a bit like rewriting history to make your decision to leave seem less "selfish".
If a man wrote something similar in your shoes the whole forum would be saying he' clearly had an affair and was trying to justify it by saying the relationship was bad.

If you truly deliberately had children in a dead relationship to bring you back together then you haven't acted in their best interests either so I think it's better to make the best of what is happening rather than focus on what could be betterm

I think it's terrible parenting on his part. You all still live in the family home. It's one thing for him to go off and spend the day with an OW - which is what she is as you are married. But it is quite another for him to introduce the kids to her and do family activities with her whilst you are still living as a family.

I would never do it but tbh I don't think your children care if it's a mate or a date of dad's because they're young. If you don't make a big deal of it they will be fine.

Yes, his behaviour is idiotic, the relationship could be over within a few months. However, as much as this is infuriating, it's not something that is within your control. The only thing you can control, is your reaction to it.

Obviously, it is poor parenting and completely inappropriate and not at all fair on your DC who have enough to process. But sadly UK law doesn't protect DC from this so you can't prevent it from happening.

Exactly. I’m not sure, therefore, why it’s being framed as a uniquely male trait.

You said you have young children but the marriage was dead for 10 years?

Can you access counselling to help you with through this? It's really hard but you will only harm yourself and your children if you can't move past it and accept what has happened.

And that's also bad!!

It does seem quick but having less control over your children's experience is what happens after divorce / separation. You can't expect to end a marriage but also have your ex work to your timescales or seek approval from you before making decisions.

You say your children have coped well which is the important thing here. Please make sure that you don't make things worse for them by projecting your own feelings on the situation onto them.

Gosh, I’m in a similar position except my ex cheated, I kicked him out, now he’s in a full on relationship with her and it makes me sick.
it is soooooo hard to want to control him! Why should he be happy? Why should he replace me with a slag? It’s hell. I wish he was dead but we now need to co parent.

im struggling with letting go of that control. Everyone says move on, make yourself happy, but when it’s rubbed in your face it’s horrific and cruel.

men can be di.cks!

2 weeks after you split! That's so fast! Do you think they were seeing each other before you split?

I don’t think this is entirely fair.

My husband’s ex wife freshly met, introduced to the children and moved in a new boyfriend in about 8 weeks flat.

It isn’t just men.

I'm with you mate. You hope that they'd make a sensible decision about this sort of thing but sadly it's not always the case.
Unfortunately you'll have to let him get on with it and learn which battles to pick.

You never know the man you're married to until you begin divorce proceedings.

You can't choose when you meet a new partner, it's not ideal, maybe he should wait to introduce her, but I don't think it's much of your business.

It is a bit swift, and I would think that if it was you introducing a new partner so it isn’t about it being “dad”.

I don’t subscribe to the commonly seen ethos here that you should wait years before introducing a new partner or indeed never, but letting the dust settle and a real new routine be established with the children is important following a split.

It does sound like he could be rather more involved in parenting and a bit less involved in dating, given the split is so recent. Is he planning on only seeing the children one day per week once he has his own place? Living in the same house as his children but spending no time with them now is simply not good enough and he should be ashamed of himself, quite frankly. His relationship with you has ended, not his relationship with his children.