Kids noise vs neighbours: AIBU to think that there is so much you can do when you have young children?

Having wood floors in a top flat is a bit inconsiderate imo. Why don’t you approach her ask if she’s be willing to help (50/50) fund some carpets being installed, that will make a huge difference.
I live in a flat and there will always be some be some noise, but if it woke me up every Saturday it would massively impact on my quality of life.
My neighbours have a teenager, a toddler and a baby and I can hear them but not excessively unless they shout. I’ve been woken up a handful of times in 2 years, which I’m obviously not bothered about at all.

Good luck

I certainly hope that you're not anyone's parent!

There are some people you can't please no matter what you do. It is not entirely clear whether this is your neighbour as you don't have carpet so it could be very loud for her. As a couple of PP have suggested, ask to go down and hear the noise when she is bothered by it. Also ask her to record it and listen to the recording. Once you have heard, you can make judgement on how loud it truly is and if it is as bad as she makes out, you need to make adjustments to be able to get some sort of carpet otherwise saying you want a good relationship is empty words.

If it is not so bad, she fits into the former category and I would then be looking at making a complaint about harassment. If she is one of those who you cannot please (I sadly have a neighbour like this), the demands just keep on escalating. It is not noise in our case but our neighbours expect us to foot the bill for everything concerning a shared boundary (deeds do not say we are responsible), give them endless favours whilst complaining should one thing not meet their (high) expectations. When they first moved in, we tried really hard to be friendly and meet halfway but the demands got bigger so we no longer engage. It is a shame, even more so when you had a wonderful relationship with the previous occupiers

You need to get a cheap carpet at the minimum.

You should go downstairs and stand in her flat with her whilst your husband and the children do breakfast time and playing in the playroom. That way you can hear what she hears. You might be more sympathetic to her issues when you hear how loud you are. You need carpets with insulation at the very least.

Personally I think it's pretty vile that someone was driven to a breakdown by inconsiderate neighbours.

Bloody inconsiderate and downright rude not to have carpets upstairs - and entitled. You sound nightmare neighbours.

If you turn the playroom into a bedroom, I would put a cheap carpet in. It won’t be very expensive if it is as small as you say it is.

Other than that, your neighbour needs to realise that living in a flat in an old house means neighbour noise.

Do not discuss further with neighbour. Literally no point as you have decided to do nothing about it.

You completely renovated but didn't put carpets down? I'm on the side of the neighbours here.

They completely renovated their kitchen and bathroom putting in sound insulation - but obviously not carpets in a kitchen/bathroom

I think OP needs to consider that if she doesn’t put more of an effort in to reduce the noise and moves her kids to the lower floor that her neighbours might retaliate with noise, either that or they might have enough of it and move and the next people to move in might also do the same.

I'm not sure I'd blame the neighbour if she did start cranking up music at midnight. OP knows there is a solution to tackling the issue – carpet – but won't prioritise it.

Why has your neighbour got your phone number??

The OP has NOT tried everything, as a lot of posters are saying!
She needs to put down carpet with proper underlay. Rugs are not the same.
It's the epitome of selfishness.

You completely renovated but didn't put carpets down? I'm on the side of the neighbours here.

I recently got carpets fitted in three rooms. Good quality carpet, thick underlay, fitting included. Came to £1400. So you're probably looking at around £500 for the playroom. That would be a start. Hard floors in flats are deeply antisocial.

As you say, she has become fixated on it. But that's understandable. It's disturbing her home every day. How would you feel if someone banged on your ceiling every morning and evening without fail? You would feel under siege.

In the interest of neighbourly relations you should put down carpet with a decent underlay, at least in the playroom/boys bedroom, (but ideally in the downstairs space that isn't the bathroom, kitchen or hallway) and proper curtains and soft furnishings to help deaden the sound. Once you have done that I think you can safely tell your neighbour that you have done everything you reasonably can and they need to get some ear plugs and/or get a grip.

I had an upstairs neighbour who swapped out their carpets for hard floors and it was a bloody nightmare, (even with rugs down). It went from genuinely never noticing them, to hearing every single footstep, the toy cars rumbling across the floor, the nose from the TV. And they weren't making any more noise just that all the noise travelled straight down into my flat.

I brought up three DC in a flat. The rules I made was that the children were not allowed to jump or run as noise carries and play on a carpet. However noise travels especially in when places were built before the latest technology.

F them. You already do enough to help reduce the noise. They can move if they need to. I understand shouting and loud music etc. but kids playing… come on. Good luck with it all. X

Like many previous posters have said, you need to install good underlay and carpet. It will make a huge difference to your neighbour downstairs and will stop the problem from escalating further. If you are thinking of moving in 3 years time, you don’t want an ongoing dispute with a neighbour as you will have to declare this and it will affect the value and saleability of your property. Installing carpets now might well be a cost saving exercise in the long run.

OP, do the right thing and get underlay and carpet installed. One room doesn’t cost that much. Have you even had quotes to know how much you need to save?

Have you been downstairs yourself to have a listen to the noise?

This ^^

maybe standing up to her will stop the incessant complaints

Is it the original floorboards? It's no wonder she can hear lots if so.

You really need to carpet it before turning it into a bedroom. If the room is small, you should be able to get an off cut which can be much cheaper.

I understand you don’t have the finances to immediately carpet but could you save up and do it before you move the kids into the playroom?

We carpeted all 3 of our bedrooms for £1.5k inc underlay and fitting, we’ve got cream wool carpets though so you may want to go for something cheaper/sturdier for a little boys’ bedroom!

I honestly wouldn't put the two boys a floor down from me ..just think they are too young to be unsupervised down there next to kitchen and presumably the front door etc..that would increase my stress and make it difficult for me to relax in bed. Also in doing this the noise will definitely increase. Totally understand your dilemma.with same age kids it's impossible and neighbour seems to be at home a lot, is quiet and is now ultra sensitive and annoyed by noise so can hear a pin drop. Have you a floor plan or something of playroom ? Can we help with rearranging it for the adults ? That would make a lot more sense even on a practical level..getting up for a nice quiet coffee of a morning without waking them ? The kids all on one floor sounds much better.

Absolutely. I am fortunate enough to not live under anyone, but we had a problem neighbour who didn't seem 'able' to accommodate for the problem they were causing. I decided that if they didn't have to watch their noise, neither did I. Funny how they have now found a solution. Unfortunately for them, a couple of the things I started are quite enjoyable so will continue.

I mean, kids are kids and I probably wouldn't mind reasonable noise. I wouldn't throw a ball at the ceiling. But I do understand where the guy was coming from.

@Minimili what an absolutely vile story. harassing children during their bedtime?