Kids noise vs neighbours: AIBU to think that there is so much you can do when you have young children?

The person who sold the downstairs flat was probably economical with the truth. ( re noise)

She probably wanted it sold asap s didn’t mention kid noise as being annoying ( overhead noise is especially irritating- it’s the vibration as well.

Maybe you missed the bit where OP explains that the neighbour moved in knowing full well she was moving into ground floor flat underneath a maisonette with a family of five, including three young children.

It is lunacy to expect them to move if you don't like it.

Carpets!

My guess is there is wood flooring.

It sounds like you're doing the best you can. We've had students, yappy dogs and just generally noisy people living next door to us (under and next door) for 10+ years. As long as its not excessively early/late and you're keeping anything out of the ordinary, noise wise, down the best you can - I'm sorry, but it's her problem not yours.

You and your family should not be living in a perpetual state of ssshhhhhh for ANYONE.

There's not much you can do . She knew you had children . It sounds like your not even home that much.

Tell her not to worry, you've put an ad in the paper and the kids should be rehomed shortly.

@karpouzi Go and visit your neighbour- you might be shocked at how noisy your family actually are .

I had no idea that my stove made so much noise as My neighbour was so blissfully quiet I assumed the walls were thick.

Neighbour probably is being disturbed a significant amount.

I feel for you. I had this when living in a converted flat. Any movement my son made they would be up angry complaining straight away. Even him walking up and down the landing angered them. Tried keeping him in our bed/up on sofa when he woke early mornings but being a toddler at the time he obviously liked to walk around. We ended up moving as we were fed up of trying to stop our toddler toddling about. Joke was they had a dog that would yap constantly. I should have asked them to stop their dog from barking as it would have been the same understanding level as trying to tell my 2 year old he's not allowed to walk about the flat.

I was going to suggest you moving into the playroom, but sounds like there is no space. Perhaps you can move the toy room upstairs to the boys bedroom and go with moving the older two downstairs. Then instruct them to go straight upstairs to play when they wake up? Assuming the baby will probably be up then anyway.

If people don't want the noise of small humans, the onus is on them to move to a home where children aren't allowed. A 55+ community or studio flats.

How dare people breed of they can't afford a detached home on a few acres 😂

Sounds like you have bought your place? As you mentioned renovating the kitchen. Could you invest into some good sound proofing? I think for it to work really well it has to go under the floor boards. I think i may be called rock wool. Its because between your floor abd their ceiling its holloeong sbd that causes a sort of echo and the sound travels. If you could have sound proofing under the floor boards that would help alot.

I don't think you've answered the question about carpets? What floor sound insulation did you put down? Proper boarding over / insultation / thick carpets will really help.

Finding it hard to believe that you can get two boys into the downstairs room but not a five foot bed. You can always keep your clothes upstairs (you mention wardrobes).

@karpouzi I visited my elderly neighbour when we lived in a 19 th C terrace and I heard a sound that was like the party wall falling down.

I said “ What the heck is THAT?!”

She replied “ That’s your stove!”

My son was riddling the ash from the coals.

I had no idea it could possibly be a noisy - it is like old houses amplify noise.

I made sure to only riddle out the stove vigorously at normal times of day.

Well she's the fool who decided to move underneath a family of young kids what did she expect?! Is it social housing, private rental or owned? As long as the kids aren't screaming at the top of their lungs and banging as in jumping up and down on the floor then just crack on, you can't expect them to tiptoe round! Your rules already sound as strict as they could possibly be. If she doesn't like it tough shit she can move. Who is she complaining to? You or the owners?

We were in a similar situation with our downstairs elderly neighbour who stopped saying "Hello" to me, when our eldest started crawling. She was retired, lonely and spent all her days in the flat with nothing to do but complain about other neighbours with small children to their rental agencies/council. Unfortunately there is no solution to this. We sold the flat and bought a semi with a garden. No stress anymore.

Its sound like OP is trying to reduce noise, sounds like it could be a old home converted into flats, so it's not built with the best sound-proofing. If the neighbour can hear them simply walking around, talking and opening/closing cupboards, then there's not much else that can be done as buildings soundproofing is terrible.

We can't all afford to live in detached houses where neighbours can't hear sound. They may have a large flat at a very good rental price.

Apologies if I have missed this but what flooring do you have down?

Plenty of nurseries are all year round and don't have school holidays? My daughter's doesn't.

Op search Amazon for foam floor tiles.

You know the type they have in soft play? They do them in all colours and all styles. They aren't just for babies. My teen son has large black ones that look sort of a metal texture. They're great under rugs for noise. Out them in the kids bedrooms. Personally I wouldn't have the children above my room, as I'm more worried about fire safety than whiney neighbours.

Or some with a lot of children should move!
It’s lunacy to live in a flat upstairs with young children stamping about.

We lived in a terrace and that was bad enough when kids were at stamping about stage.

Period conversations are shockingly poorly sound insulated.

I think it depends what the complaints are?

If they are just complaining about the sounds of normal life - eg the children walking about, talking, laughing etc - then that is unreasonable. But if they are complaining that the children are shouting/jumping/throwing toys about then that's fair enough and is something you can work on.

I sympathise though as I live in a flat with a toddler and it's difficult to know how the sounds come through to our neighbours, and also how much to try and change her behaviour to accommodate worries about the neighbours.