Kids noise vs neighbours: AIBU to think that there is so much you can do when you have young children?

Reason would stop bunk beds.

Gosh, you should go into politics! 'Almost everyone agrees' - no, 64% think the OP is reasonable, the other 36% don't. That's at least a third of people who don't agree!

Read all the comments on the thread, almost everyone agrees that the OP is reasonable and the neighbour is being unreasonable. Sounds like you need to get a grip on reality, like the neighbour.

I wouldn't be complaining about kids making normal levels of noise in social hours in their own home. And if I wanted a lie in at the weekend then yes I would wear earplugs in that scenario rather than pester a neighbour with vexatious complaints.

Sounds like she needs to get a grip and accept she chose to buy under a young family.

You're already doing a lot to minimise noise.
Don't let control your lives.

I would outline all you do to minimise it in one message and tell her her messages are now becoming intrusive into your life. Block her.

She's not being unreasonable whatsoever. Carpets in an upstairs flat is a very, very reasonable expectation.

I don't think they are

A rug and no curtains, just blinds, is awful

Cheap curtains and carpets?

I think you should go a little way to mitigate the noise even though on the whole your neighbour is being unreasonable

AHA, your downstairs neighbor is a landlord …. Renting out the bedroom while they sleep in the sitting room (or other way).

Thats the real problem.

1. they are a landlord
2. and tenant either unhappy or they unhappy because too cramped no privacy …. And other people living walking around above.

Goodness, their complaint will go no where if they formalize.

I have to agree with that. The noise with floorboards and just a rug will be awful.

I would imagine she was thoroughly annoyed that the owner of that flat had let it out as an AirBnB - I live in fear of somebody doing that here! At least with neighbours you know, you kind of know what to expect. People aren't always so considerate as they might be when they're renting accommodation for a few days.

Can you put those playmat foam tiles down across the floor? They muffle sound quite well and they're cheap.

Your neighbour just needs to suck it up with normal kids arguing and playing noise though. I'd much rather hear that than constant parties or couples shouting at each other, which is what I've had from neighbours in flats before.

If you choose to live in anything but a ground floor flat, underlay and carpets are an essential. You chose to, so you pay for them.

My elderly aunt’s upstairs neighbours ripped out their carpets and now it’s like a herd of elephants up there. So fucking selfish.

it should be illegal for any flat above ground floor to have anything but carpets

Now, I like my relative peace and quiet, but those requests were definitely taking the mickey! Those requests were crazy!

Not good enough, I’m afraid. You need thick underlay and proper fitted carpet.

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to minimise noise. Your new neighbour sounds awful. You are entitled to live a normal life in your own home with your children.
If its an old house with high ceilings suggest she look into getting sound insulation put into false ceilings, and lose a few centimetres of ceiling height but reduce noise.
Perhaps you could afford to put a cheap carpet into your playroom too.
You were in the property first. She could complain to the council but it wouldn't get her anywhere as it's sounds like normal family life.

As an aside - we once rented an air bnb flat for a couple of nights in Scotland and the downstairs neighbour was awful - she put a note through our door (every day) complaining we had been too noisy. The first one we'd been there 3 hours, we had literally arrived, unpacked and made and eaten a meal (she also had a permanent note outside her own door warning new air bnb renters about noise). It was all quite strange as we weren't really there that much as we were out and about doing sightseeing stuff!
We were glad we were only there for 3 nights as all the notes made us feel awful, we highlighted the neighbour in our review.

When living in a flat I had a neighbour who seriously asked us to avoid running water or flushing the toilet between 7 pm and 8 am and also during baby's nap times. I have Crohn's, so that was impossible, even if I was prepared to entertain such a mad request. Also not to use cutlery, walk around or watch TV.

Don't be absurd. Lowering ceilings costs between £10-20k. Fitting a carpet more like £500.

Yes.

She bought a ground floor flat in a conversion.

There is going to be noise.

Take control. Lower the ceilings.

So when you say "AIBU to think that there is so much you can do when you have young children" - what you mean to say is that you are not actually doing anything at all (and soon you are going to actively make it worse for your neighbour by moving two of your kids to the lower floor).

If you're not willing to improve the situation then you should at least have some empathy with your poor neighbour having to listen to your kids through poorly insulated wooden floorboards.

Tough shit - cut back on other stuff.

So the poor neighbours have to spend time and money to sort it?

Could she drop her ceilings? That might help with the noise? Tbh once you leave, she may have a less considerate people occupying your flat, so this is in her best interests. That way, she has some control. I'm guessing you don't have loud parties every weekend and week night, but new owners may.

I wonder if it's worth a chat with your previous downstairs neighbour as you're still friends to figure out how reasonable the complaints are

I think if your previous neighbour was fine with it all, it might well be down to this neighbour being overly sensitive or the way that she is using the space