To feel threatened by OW

You are a very unkind human being. Go back to your affairs and leave OP alone.

@Preear you have two choices :

1. Accept things as they are and think about how best you can come out of this and find happiness. Think of how you and kids can also benefit from the situation.
2. Continue to be jealous, insecure and bitter; twist narratives to blame others; and make your own life miserable.

Completely agree! Newname85 has been downright rude and cannot read! The OP clearly said her ExH was spending all his time for months with this woman investing in her and going on trips and evenings with her while they were married. I would definitely describe her as the OW. Doesn't matter if they are now a couple, she was still the catalyst to end the marriage and the OW. The OP finally got tired of it and told him to leave. I guess she was supposed to keep having sex with her husband and making him happy while he was pursuing another woman 🙄 Some of these posts are unreal.

Also, why respect the opinion of anyone who started a thread asking how to have an affair. Clearly Newname85 morals are on the floor and not fit to give advice on what makes an OW or not 🤣

And goady.

No she hasn't??! She's well rude!

How have they treated you badly ?

Are you saying taking the kids out on a holiday is like treating you badly?

I really don’t see why you should have a problem with it - She was nice to the kids and the kids came back happy! What exactly does this have to do with you ?

Are you financially independent, @Preear ? What is worrying you so much?

You would know all about that!! 😂

Of course you will :-) stay strong girl xx

“That is not always the case at all, not if the man is half decent, but why would you divorce them in the first place if they were”

Incompatibility
Wanting different things in life
Changed personalities

There could be many more reasons. But here are some valid reasons for two perfectly decent people to decide to separate.

Just read your own posts, @Preear

Either you are too heartbroken to think straight or if you have this attitude in real life, we can all see why your man was happy to leave you.

You accused me of being an OW, you accused your ex’s GF of being an OW! Is that what your world is like? what title would you give someone like yourself?

Op - you might be in pain but resorting to name-calling is shit. @Newname85 has been pretty gracious on this thread.

It’s not your fault; it was your choice to separate. Choices come with consequences. Single mom life isn’t easy, it can get overwhelming, while men seem to easily go and find another partner and start again! women generally pay a bigger price for separation/divorce. That’s just how the world works.

You stopped having sex with him, told him you don’t love him and asked him to leave (you have your reasons). Why would anyone stay after this? It’s over when you said that. This is not someone else’s fault, it’s a consequence of your choices about how you dealt with the problem. (Again, nothing wrong - you can choose to do whatever you like) but Have you tried to repair the marriage/ relationship counselling? Anyway, you kicked him out. Just because he moved on quickly, his GF doesn’t become the OW.

If you gave up on the relationship already, how does his GF become a home breaker? How does it matter? Would you get back with him if he was single? What if he doesn’t want to?

Does it really matter if you were still living in the same house when that new relationship started, when in reality your marriage may have ended months before he actually moved out?? Things don’t get to a breaking point overnight!

Hey, absolutely nothing wrong in ending it. I would have ended it too.

What I’d like to tell you is, pls don’t let his choices, his life, his happiness etc impact you negatively. Focus on yourself, things that you can control and become happier. You need to heal, become a happy person.

In the meanwhile, your ex might marry this woman, they might have children, or she could turn out to be the best partner he could ever hope for. So what? You need to stay strong and focus on yourself. Think of how you/children can benefit from the situation. Ask ex and his GF to take to kids out and you could use the time to relax.

As others on this thread pointed out, try to be a good mum to your kids (I’m not saying you are not - I don’t have enough info to conclude either way, so just putting it out there). I know it’s human to have good days and bad days, but don’t forget to tell your kids EVERYDAY how much you love them. Give them hugs and kisses often. Give them small things wrapped as presents (a chocolate bar, small toy, a ping pong ball etc). They will fondly remember getting these little surprise presents in childhood. Making good memories is cheap. Go for it !!

Do this for a few months, you won’t feel threatened by his GF or anyone!

I don’t become an affair partner just by asking questions. Just to be clear, I have never had an affair, emotional or physical, I have not even had a cup of tea with another woman’s man. You seem to be totally delusional, assuming everyone with a different view point to be a OW.

You should just fold it in and FO.

Oh you're back? And I don't think this poster started a thread about being an affair partner (unlike you), so there is no reason for anyone to call her a/the OW. Unlike you.

Why does it still have to be about right and wrong, months down the line?

OPs relationship was clearly over. It ended. Her XP has moved on quickly and she hasn’t.

Of course your DD will think it odd to be on holiday with her dad and another woman, it’s the first time. I would frame everything as positively as possible for the DC, and work on building your own fabulous new life, rather than wasting time pondering on why he does whatever he does.

I work with many, many adult children of separated parents. Lots of them are deeply resentful of the way their parents handled the separation and their co-parenting relationship. Lots of them felt that their parents hated the other parent more than they loved them.

ALL children who have experienced the love of two parents want those parents to get along. If they can't get along then they want them to :

• Keep conflict to a bare minimum
• Never fight in front of them
• Never try to make them love one parent over the other
• Never bad mouth, name call or pass on negative messages about the other parent. Children absorb this as criticism of themselves.
• Allow them to be children and keep doing the fun, cool things kids get to do without the burden of their parents issues.

In your case OP - you both decided that your children should go on the holiday. The children are confused. You might regret that decision. But what exactly do you want to happen now? What do you want him to do?

When he asked "who are you punishing, the kids?" the answer is "no I am protecting them from further heartache"