To not want the funeral filmed

Yes I think ringing and talking is far more supportive than watching a live stream.

Again you are wrong
For the many reasons given, elderly relatives, distance to travel.

My friend in Australia has had many messages and calls, again how very dare you say it's not supportive not to attend. She's had so much support from around the world. She's visited them all over the last few months and is staying at mine now. Do you need me to come on here to explain to you exactly how wrong you are?
Seriously stop being so disgusting

I think it's more that I would probably be emotional at my mums funeral and maybe cry at some point.
I would hate all that to be on camera.

I once attended a funeral where the deceased's wife threw herself onto the coffin, extremely upset. She had to be guided away gently and it was heartbreaking to see

Heartbreaking indeed, @Queenanne20, and I've seen similar happen except with a dad and the treasured daughter he lost

That one was streamed as well, and distressingly I was there when a couple of so-called friends who didn't attend cried "Ooooo he didn't!! Did they get it on the stream?"

Unfortunately some people really are sick ...

And me? Should i have just sent a card to.my dad and siblings? Or perhaps I should have got on a plane, against my doctors advice as I wad at the end of a high risk pregnancy? Perhaps I just wanted to attend for "entertainment"?

I think you are massively misunderstanding how "intrusive" filming in this sort of situation is. Most people wouldn't even notice it happening. The biggest problem I had with my mums funeral is all the people who wanted to come and "talk" to me through the camera which was awkward long distance, especially as reception wasn't great. But I appreciated the sentiment.

I can only imagine from your comments that you have never attended a funeral being streamed nor seen a live stream of a funeral. You seem also to be unaware of the importance for many of joining a religious funeral at the time of the ceremony.

Repeatedly describing remote participation in a funeral as "entertainment" is either ignorant or simply goady.

@Puzzledandpissedoff That's exactly what worried me, especially with the funeral being available for anyone to watch, no access code required. I know a neighbour's recent funeral in a crematorium could be viewed for about 24 hours afterwards via an access code but FILs funeral at the church was available for anyone to watch for about 2 weeks after. I once attended a funeral where the deceased's wife threw herself onto the coffin, extremely upset. She had to be guided away gently and it was heartbreaking to see. I'd have hated that to be freely available online for someone to repost, goodness knows where, for laughs.

The compromise here would be for the funeral to be live streamed and the stream available for a certain amount of time after the funeral so that people can watch it if they can't attend. It could be done by the funeral directors. Most of them offer this now.
I have watched a couple of family members funerals on the live stream because I'm abroad and it wasn't possible to get back. It was meaningful for me to be there and to hear the eulogies and prayers etc.
It's not always possible for everyone to be there who would like to be there because of other commitments, ill-health, disability, living abroad etc. so I think it is good to offer them the opportunity to watch now that we have the technology to do so easily.

My dad's was recorded, and the link only shared with those who were unable to make it.
It only captured the alter and lectern so no shots of anyone grieving.

But then we had got the tears out at the crematorium before the funeral service in church. It's different when it's all in one I think.

I dint think anyone wins, whatever choice is made.

We streamed my aunt and uncle's joint funeral for the benefit of her brother in Australia. It meant so much to him and to my dad, and he could not have done the journey. Technology is a good thing in this case and brings people who care together. It can honestly be done in a respectful and discreet way.

He then had quite a few chats on Zoom with people at the lunch afterwards, but then it was a rather informal funeral and a rare family get-together.

We did my Grandmothers funeral my cousins live in the US and Australia - it would be more than a day for them so live streaming was perfect for them.

we don’t live in a world where everyone lives close enough for it to be just a day - it wasn’t entertainment it was being able to say goodbye and gain closure

Depends what happens at the funeral I guess. A standard send-off probably wouldn't interest many, but should anything even slightly unusual happen they could easily find themselves plastered all over social media ... it's happened many times before and will doubtless happen again

As for nobody observing a funeral as "entertainment" - I wish

So if your far flung relative is unable to fly to attend you parents' funerals (which I hope it a long time from now) and the place holding the service has a live streaming service which those relative wish to take advantage of, you would regard that as unsupportive and disrespectful?
I have never been aware of a blinking camera at live streamed services.

At the end of 2020 I attended two funerals that were also 'live streamed' as numbers were strictly limited. One of the funerals was my dad's, the other was a good friend who died far too young from Covid. Personally, I felt even more supported to know that there were many more people out there celebrating my dad's life than could attend. All got in touch afterwards to say what a lovely and fitting send off it had been.

With my friend's funeral, again dozens more 'attended' online including many colleagues and friends. I think it gave her family some comfort and it also gave those attended a chance to celebrate her life. Funerals are for everyone to not just support the family but also give anyone who had a relationship with them a chance to remember them and grieve.

I can't think of anything less respectful than filming a funeral. And also filming grieving people.

Trust me - nobody thinks observing a funeral is "entertainment".

People can show love and support by staying in touch, sending cards etc. Being there long after the funeral when support often drops off. To attend virtually is disrespectful.

When my parents die and I speak at the service there is not a chance I'll do so with a camera blinking in the distance even though we do have far flung rels.

Watching remotely is not support, ringing and chatting and staying in touch is and I wonder how many virtual attendees do that.

I've done the eulogy at two funerals recently that were live streamed. I had no idea where the cameras were (there isn't a bloke with a camera up in your face). Both the deceased were very old and had some family either too old to travel within the UK or in the Southern Hemisphere. I found it incredibly touching that people were getting up in the middle of the night to watch it and i had some really kind messages afterwards so clearly it was very important to them to be included. It definitely wasn't entertainment. It's all password protected and was taken down after a week.

It meant an awful lot to my friend and her daughter to know their were 10s of people watching the funeral from around the world, smiling at the antidotes, watching the photos, praying, reliving their own memories

How bloody rude are you. Don't say with respect when you mean the opposite

My dear Dad died in lockdown, numbers were restricted. He had siblings in Ireland, who in normal times would have travelled, so we live streamed and they found great comfort in watching live. I think you would need a very good reason to film or live stream now. The company gave us a memory stick afterwards, but none of us have felt able to watch it yet.

This is a difficult one and I don't think your DH is being unreasonable, while understanding that people may want to watch for valid reasons. Sadly my best friend from childhood died from suicide fairly recently. Her lovely sister contacted me after her funeral to say she was so sorry I was missed off the invites and she sent me a link to watch the service. It was a camera right at the back as described on this thread.

I was so pleased to watch the funeral but at the end when everyone was taking their turn at the coffin before leaving her husband, who I didn't know, was last in the room to say goodbye and essentially collapsed on it in grief. I'm not sure mourners would want to be filmed like that?

Unless MIL had voiced a distict dislike for the practise, I would side with SIL.
It could be helpfull to her elderly or ill friends or cousins etc. to watch it on-line.
Funeral homes are used to offering the coverage. I would allow them to professionally put the service on their site; they usually have it available for a set period of time.

I would not want any old person filming the funeral on
their phone.

Or maybe that 6000 miles might be difficult to traverse at fairly short notice?
The people who are or who have been important to us don't always live up the road.

... Also as a teacher I was not allowed time off for funerals include it was that of a spouse, child or grandparent.

Not being able to attend does not necessarily indicate that the deceased wasn't important enough.

See my post above yours. It is simply not practical or affordable for people on the other side of the world to take time off work and spend a small fortune on a last minute flight booking to attend.