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Original poster

How married couples manage finances

81 replies

CarrotTopParsnipToe · 24/02/2025 20:34

Happy to have this explained to me like I'm a child!

I was just reading another thread about a married couple with kids and I don't understand why all married couples don't just have a joint account whers they both get paid and then all the bills and expenses are paid from. It's so much easier to pool money and in the event of a divorce down the line, separated bank accounts wouldn't protect your money from your soon to be ex spose. But the idea that he pays this proportion and she pays that proportion seems barmy. And why does it always seem like the woman's wages need to cover the entirety of the kids costs! A joint account solves this, so why don't committed married couples pool the cash?

I'm not talking about non married couples, or married couples where one has some sort of addiction like gambling or drugs or shopping

OP posts:
RIPVPROG · 24/02/2025 20:41

We have both. I want some financial independence. We pay an agreed amount into the joint account each month each, for mortgage, bills, household expenses, DS costs, holidays, joint savings etc, then get the same amount of disposable fun money each into our own personal accounts.
How do you buy presents or organise surprises if you only have joint accounts?
It also makes me less furious when I don't have to see how much DH spends on comics and paint supplies, it's his fun money he can burn it for all I care.

TeenLifeMum · 24/02/2025 20:39

We have totally joint money. Just because our employers valued our work differently, we value each other equally. All money is family money.

There was a point when dc were little that I earned half what dh earned as I was part time. We now earn fairly similar. But I brought more savings to the relationship when we first met. Dh has never seen money as his, it’s ours.

sometimesmovingforwards · 24/02/2025 20:39

Why do you care how other people do their finances?

Elsvieta · 24/02/2025 20:38

Seconded; I was an adult before I learned that some married couples DON'T pool all the money, and I remember how bizarre I found it then, and nothing's changed. If you don't want to share everything with someone, or you don't trust them, why did you marry them?

skippy67 · 24/02/2025 20:37

Me and DH have separate accounts. Together 33 years married for 23 of those. What don't you understand? Or why do you feel you need to understand people doing things differently to you?
I can say hand on heart, we've never argued about money. Ever.

Mumofteenandtween · 24/02/2025 20:36

We always have. In (nearly) 25 years of marriage money is something that we have never argued about. Which, when you consider that “things we have argued about” includes “how to stir a stir fry”, is really quite surprising!