Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you split your household finances?

254 replies

FlipFlopFairy · 24/02/2025 18:52

My husband and I have separate bank accounts but split the outgoings to allow us to have the same ‘spends’ each month. I know that sounds fair, but what I challenge is what is classed as household outgoings.

For transparency, he earns about 2.5 times my salary, and his bonuses pay for holidays.

I suppose fixed outgoings would be a better phrase than household outgoings. Included in his fixed outgoings is payments for his 2 cars. I have a company car, so my car payments are taken from my gross salary.

Because he has included both cars in his outgoings, it means less ‘spends’ for me, and it feels like I’m helping to fund his cars, when I’m funding my own already.

On top of this, my outgoings include responsibility for variables, such as food and shoes and clothes for the children, so some months I have less ‘spends’ than others. It just feels quite imbalanced.

When I’ve raised this, he just cannot seem to see my point of view. He only sees that his total outgoings from his bank account far exceed mine, and not that his cars (at the very least, the second car) are more of a personal expense, in the same way mine is.

AIBU to think that our expenses need to be reworked to be more fair?

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 24/02/2025 19:02

We have a joint account. Our salaries are paid into our own personal accounts and then we each have a standing order which pays most of our salary into the joint account, leaving us each with the same amount of spenfing money left in our personal account.

TeenToTwenties · 24/02/2025 19:02

Children are joint expenses for a start.

nahthatsnotforme · 24/02/2025 19:02

Joint bank account. All finances shared. His income is 3 times mine but I spend more 😊

Blueeyes13 · 24/02/2025 18:59

We have a joint bank account. All our income goes into it and all outgoings out of it. We don't have personal accounts except for ISAs. It is all "our" money, despite my husband earning twice as much as me.