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Original poster

Party, child with visible difference

555 replies

donttake · 24/02/2025 18:43

Was 8 year olds birthday party on Saturday,
Some school friends, some out of school friends and some family were invited. First time doing a mixed party like that and the different groups kind of kept together so Dd was a bit pulled around but otherwise everything went great .

One of DD’s cousins who was at the party has a significant facial difference, purely physical and had no effect of their behaviour or abilities. I’ve had a message from a school friends mother saying thank-you for the party, dc had a great time etc but that she would have appreciated a heads up about dd’s cousin. That her dc were scared and upset and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so could I give advice.

I’m not being being unreasonable to think that’s outrageous, am I?

I have no idea what to reply

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 24/02/2025 18:53

Dear cunt school Mum
im shocked that a grown adult thinks that this is an appropriate message to send.
Do not contact me again.

Pillarsofsalt · 24/02/2025 18:52

I’d talk to her gently as if you were talking to a child.

”Hi Sharon, people often look different that what we usually see but they are still people like you and me and have the same thoughts and feelings. We don’t stare or make comments and we do our best to treat them like we treat everyone else. Glad your daughter enjoyed the party.”

Seaside31 · 24/02/2025 18:52

If this is true then it’s vile 😫 id message back “oh no, did something happen that I missed? What was it that made your DC so upset?!” and make her say what the actual issue is. Then I’d give it to her with both barrels.

What a horrible woman!

RafaistheKingofClay · 24/02/2025 18:52

donttake · 24/02/2025 18:43

Was 8 year olds birthday party on Saturday,
Some school friends, some out of school friends and some family were invited. First time doing a mixed party like that and the different groups kind of kept together so Dd was a bit pulled around but otherwise everything went great .

One of DD’s cousins who was at the party has a significant facial difference, purely physical and had no effect of their behaviour or abilities. I’ve had a message from a school friends mother saying thank-you for the party, dc had a great time etc but that she would have appreciated a heads up about dd’s cousin. That her dc were scared and upset and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so could I give advice.

I’m not being being unreasonable to think that’s outrageous, am I?

I have no idea what to reply

Fuck off should probably cover it.

Glorybox2025 · 24/02/2025 18:52

What a vile human. Give it to her both barrels.

DaringLion · 24/02/2025 18:51

Woman sounds like a vile twat

MassiveOvaryaction · 24/02/2025 18:51

donttake · 24/02/2025 18:50

Okay glad others are equally enraged.
I started typing a furious reply telling her exactly what I think but thought it's best I calmed down

I wouldn't. She absolutely does not deserve your consideration making comments like that. Vile cow.

stargirl1701 · 24/02/2025 18:51

Send her a link to the book Wonder by RJ Palico.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 24/02/2025 18:51

If I was going to say anything at all, it would be something like... "Sorry for the delay in replying. I'm so utterly speechless at your message that I had to take a moment to compose myself and come up with a polite response! Please don't message me about this again."

Littleoakhorn · 24/02/2025 18:50

I doubt her children were upset, as you’d have noticed during the party

MarketSt · 24/02/2025 18:50

Holy fuck. Just when you think you've read it all.

I'm sorry your DDs cousin has to live in a world where people expect warning before seeing them.

What a disgusting reaction.

I'm with another poster who assumed this was going to go the way of another mum apologising that perhaps her 8yo had said something insensitive but well meaning etc or maybe stared too much etc.

Original poster
donttake · 24/02/2025 18:50

Okay glad others are equally enraged.
I started typing a furious reply telling her exactly what I think but thought it's best I calmed down

OP posts:
LavenderBlue19 · 24/02/2025 18:49

I'm not sure I could reply politely, to be honest.

Perhaps a link to a relevant charity or a book about visible differences and diversity? It's her own shitty parenting that means her children were upset and that she didn't deal with it at the time. She needs educating first.

GrainneIsAinmDom · 24/02/2025 18:49

What a horrible woman! I don't know how I'd react to that as it beggars belief. She sounds medieval

Wallflowersunite · 24/02/2025 18:48

That is absolutely disgusting behaviour by the mother

SquashedSquid · 24/02/2025 18:48

Nah.

spoodlesee · 24/02/2025 18:48

How disgusting

CuteKoalas · 24/02/2025 18:48

Wtaf. Outrageous

coxesorangepippin · 24/02/2025 18:48

Scared and upset?

She need to start to educate and parent her children

Fillyfrog · 24/02/2025 18:48

This absolutely cannot be true! Shocking.

TY78910 · 24/02/2025 18:48

What the F

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 24/02/2025 18:48

MysteriousFalafel · 24/02/2025 18:45

She’d get both barrels from me. Disgusting comment from her. God some people are vile. I can’t even think of a single politely worded thing to text! I’d probably fire back with something like what a pity you’re bringing your kids up to be as horribly closed minded as you. Not to worry, you won’t be invited again.

I'd say this too, op x

Coffeeishot · 24/02/2025 18:47

My god the poor "poppet" maybe the mother should be teaching her child about people with differences.! I'd probably leave it sitting for a day or so don't reply just yet, when you do ask her what she thinks she should say ?

AnneShirleysNewDress · 24/02/2025 18:47

Awful! My advice to her would be to be a better parent and a better human.

BCSurvivor · 24/02/2025 18:46

Completely outrageous.
And I would say it's the mother that had the problem, and not her children.