Party, child with visible difference

Literally unbelievable. How the fuck is her kid gonna cope in the real world. Also she does realise in the blink of an eye the child or a member of their family could acquire a visible difference or disability. I’d just be like sorry you feel that way but we raise our kids to accept people as they are and wouldn’t even cross our minds it would be an issue for another child, luckily that can learn from the experience and not be scared next time they encounter someone a little bit different, hope this helps and send a thumbs up emoji to the bitch

Holy fucking shit.

For once I am actually speechless.

Send that.
How is the child to cope if they see a person in a wheelchair, for example??
Outraged for you op.

This, love it!

This would be a time for a middle finger emoji and a block button. Also, screenshot the vileness so she can't deny it later or claim to have been "misunderstood".

If the poor kid subjected to this kind of parenting goes to your child's school, you could also let the school know what's happened. That way they can be aware a child for whom they have safeguarding and educational responsibilities is being exposed to such unpleasant views and they may be able to include education about visible difference in lessons in an age-appropriate way.

I hope your daughter and her cousin had a great time.

WTF. I'd be tempted to say thank you for the heads up that you're a cunt and best avoided.

My immediate reaction was to tell her to FO. What a revolting thing to say about a child.

You are being far too kind about this woman's appalling behaviour.

I think that's a good idea @donttake , to let her sit and think about the reasons why you haven't replied. I love @Testingthetimes message suggestion.

It's shocking that the mum thought it was ok to send you such a text.

If you have a school WhatsApp group, I'd post the message and your reply on there rather than directly to her. Other people deserve to know what the woman is like. Wouldn't care if people thought I was being petty etc.

Honestly I think I’d avoid pointing out this parenting fail to the woman.

I would instead reply something shorter like: I suggest that you use this experience to help educate your child with respect to diversity.

What a horrible thing to say, her poor kids being brought up by a parent who thinks like that

Did she actually use those words??? I’m stunned! I’m angry on your behalf.

Thank you for your message.

My advice to you BOTH would be, that you really need to learn about kindness, understanding and empathy. I would also recommend trying not to be so judgemental, rude and offensive. Do not ever raise this with me again.

It's an opportunity to say in a friendly way that her DC need to know that there's nothing scary about someone having a face that looks different in some way. Suggest that this mum explains that to her children, and also makes the point that nobody likes being stared at or treated as if they are weird, so it's a good idea to say hello and have a chat sooner rather than later.

OP can I just add that maybe any message you send back should include that you’d have appreciated a heads up that she is a discriminatory, ableist twat !!

Outstanding response. Much better than my suggestion which was along the lines of "That's quite surprising, she didn't show any signs of upset at the party and judging by the volume certainly seemed to be enjoying herself. You should probably let the class WhatsApp group know that she doesn't respond well to difference or disability so that they can make the right decisions about what she's invited to."

You are right about all that, of course, but it's not on the OP to manage these reactions. The mum would have come across this simply through life and really REALLY light to be able to come up with pointers for her own kid by herself.

Alternatively, OP, maybe send her a Let-Me-Google-That-For-You link, if they still exist.

That is appalling, she could have talked to her children and reassured them without contacting you. She has now made far more of an issue of this than her children did. It's unkind.

Jesus wept. This is one of the most outrageous, vile and upsetting things I've ever read on here!! Shame, shame, shame on her.

@donttake I think your idea of waiting to reply is an excellent one. As you said, it may make her take stock of just how inappropriate and disgusting her message was. And gives you time to reply calmly but forcefully.

I'd screenshot the message just in case she decided to delete it.

She didn't ask politely. She blamed OP for not warning her that her nephew with a facial difference would be there.

She does not deserve a kind answer.

I would be furious and reply something along the lines that it was a shame she hadn’t taught her daughter how beautifully diverse humans can be…
Our youngest was a very inquisitive 3 year old and I remember him asking very loudly on a bus why the man in the chair had no legs, thankfully the man smiled and explained that he had been in an accident which meant his legs couldn’t be fixed, but it was ok because it made his arms super strong… they chatted together happily about random stuff until it was our time to get off, he used to ask questions about all the differences he could see around him and we used to use it as a teaching moment, like every parent should do.
Surely this parent has encountered people with differences before and if she hasn’t she really needs to broaden her horizons and stop being an idiot.

Just give her a link to this thread 😅

WTAF? Some people are complete idiots. You are right to be horrified OP.

Send her a link to this thread.

Hopefully she can read here how many people agree that she is vile, reprehensible and so utterly beyond the pale it's hard to believe she composed that message.