Party, child with visible difference

Omg this is shocking. I would be speechless!! Cannot think of what you can reply to this level of nastiness. Maybe just ‘You cannot be serious?? You do realise it is 2025 and that your message and attitude are really offensive.’ And leave her to contemplate. Even that doesn’t seem enough. Shocked!!

Just block her. Never respond.

If you feel you have to reply perhaps "I have no advice for you because my 8 year old child has decent parents who taught her years ago not to judge people and be frightened just because someone looks different" but probably ignoring her is best.

It's none of her business what this little girl's condition is: nobody has a right to anybody elses medical information, it's private and confidential. As for her own children being 'scared and upset', I highly doubt that. Children are naturally curious, in my experience they tend to ask questions when they see someone who looks different from them.

I'm sorry that this mum is so rude and ignorant, and I hope whatever you decide to reply to her stops her in her tracks and makes her realise how inappropriate she has been.

Unbelievable. I’m really sad for your dd cousin to be treated like that. It’s outrageous.

I really hope she books a holiday of a lifetime and forgets to renew the passports. Or similar.

This! 100%

“Wow”. Would be my very short response.
Let her take from that what she will.
plus it would stop me sending something far more vitriolic which she utterly deserves.

Maybe my suggestion was a little too polite 🤣

Wow! What an entitled arsehole of a woman! I would let her know that ableism is a hate crime and then speak to every school mum I know and show them the message. (Take a screenshot first.)

But I do love this - minus the “thanks for coming”

I’d ask the teacher (not naming names) if they might include a lesson on disabilities and inclusivity with some handouts for parents?!

She sounds absolutely awful and while it’s tempting to reply it might be best to just let her stew.

It's HER job to teach her kids to be compassionate and respectful towards people who are different to them for whatever reason.

If your kids can't handle seeing someone with a facial difference that's a sign to pull your finger out, wake up and teach your kids how to behave. Instead she complained about the presence of this kid for upsetting her poor munchkins.

I wouyld say she should be ashamed but she is obviously so entitled and self-absorbed it's not in her emotional wheelhouse.

Sorry, I know others think this is a good message to send, but I find the tone of it rather high-handed. Some of the sentences are accusatory, and I think they are likely to just get the woman's back up and not achieve anything.

And whenever anyone tells someone else to "educate yourself" I bristle - I just feel it's arrogant to say that to someone.

Her attitude is awful, but I'd deal with it in a quieter, less confrontational manner.

Vile human beings, her and her 'distressed child'. Vile. Cut them. Cut them dead for future parties and socialising.

Can’t add anything more than some of the already excellent responses and suggestions here.
I'd find it hard not to respond with a barrage of expletives myself. What a horrific cunt of a human being that “mother” is.
I’m sorry you had to read that about your child’s lovely cousin, OP.

Honestly I want to put a Catherine Tate Nan "Whatabitch" in here!

I'd be tempted to reply with, 'There was only one person attending the party who caused any upset, but that was because they are intolerant and discrimatory'

But I think in reality, I just wouldn't reply at all, as it would feel defensive and validate her.

@donttake I’m not being being unreasonable to think that’s outrageous, am I?

Absolutely fucking not! Wow I am fuming on behalf
of you and your DC’s cousin. Some adults can be so judgemental and cruel.

If you already haven’t messaged back I’d put something like:

“Hi Jane, it’s a shame that Tarquin was scared. Emily and all the other children had a fantastic time. Unfortunately it’s not my place to deal with your kid, so you’re going to have to be mature, put your big girl pants on and explain to Tarquin that humans come in all different shapes and sizes. Some have things called disabilities and birth defects which can make them look a bit different, however it makes them no different or any less of a human on the inside. I’m sure he’ll understand, kids are a lot more accepting and resilient than adults aren’t they? Thanks again for coming 👍🏻”

@WingsofRain I’m so sorry. This made me quite upset. It’s not just sticks and stones is it. It’s the words that stick with us.

And OP I’m sorry you had the text. I think @MissScarletInTheBallroom response perfect.

She's a disgrace and I'd tell her exactly that.

You could always warn other people of the ignorant woman's condition........

She needs to go and take a long hard look at herself. What an ignorant piece of *#%^. Those poor children. Write her a very calm and clear message back. Tell her that her message is extremely offensive, and that there has and never will be a time you will 'warn' others about the cousins difference. Suggest she speaks to her children about how to manage and embrace diversity in the world. Urgh I feel sick and angry.

Ignorant twat.

Please write a reply feeling exactly how u feel and how we do too, that it's absolutely disgusting behaviour and appalling to even have said anything. Vile, idiot woman.

I can't imagine this is true. OP are you sure someone isn't cruelly trolling you?