Party, child with visible difference

Hi school friend, thanks for your message. I really appreciate you outing yourself as a scumbag. Please allow me to assure you this won't happen again because there won't be a next time as you won't be invited.

OK maybe you don't want to send that but I just wanted to add my support to your thread

For, God’s sake, put the noose away! She didn’t say ‘How dare you expose my kids to this monstrosity!’ But they were taken by surprise, and she feels some preparation might have been a good idea. You know, like those warnings at the front of tv shows if anything un-anodyne is going to be shown.

"Does it hurt?". "Will it get better?". "Is it catching?". Perfectly reasonable topics to get out of the way before they carry on with the main job of treating them like a normal (but somewhat non-standard) human being.

I had a mum ask another to remove a facially disfigured child from a kid’s party ‘as he’s upsetting my child’ - thankfully the mum asked HER to leave as her child appeared to be the only one bothered. It reminds me of the hoohah when there was a woman with half an arm on children’s’ TV and there were a sizeable minority of mums who objected saying ‘my child is not ready for disability yet’ :-////

"oh it never occurred to me a child this old wouldn't have been taught to be understanding, accepting and not afraid of those with differences."

That's a her problem and she would be getting told in no uncertain terms how awful she is !

Don't antagonise her if your child has to mix with hers.

I agree!

This is the best response I read.

I’d be sorely tempted to respond “whatever do you mean?” And make this awful woman really spell it out. Perhaps then she’ll understand how outrageous she’s behaved.

Diabolical wretch she is. As a mother of a child with asd this also bothers me. Don’t invite her to any other events

Revolting behaviour by her

I wouldn’t want to be associated with this person. Ever. Again.

Tell her to get therapy for herself and her children.

I haven't read all the responses so this may have been suggested already. There is a fantastic organisation called Changing Faces that educates people on visible facial differences. Perhaps send this very ignorant parent a link to their website/Facebook page to aid with her conversations with her children? They need to be able to accept people have differences without reacting in an insensitive manner. As does their mother.

This is why we are still at times unable to accept as a society, people with differences (and disabilities) instead of accepting people exactly as they are, because people like this point out and keep reinforcing human ideology, it's fucked up and as a parent of a young adult (26yrs old) with physical disabilities, I can tell you time hasn't changed a single bloody thing.

From a young age, every child should be taught that everyone is valued, no matter what their circumstances!

Op delete your history and send her this thread. Its the only way she'll understand.

I’d ask her how as a parent herself she has so little compassion for a child and how it’s her disgusting attitude that her children need protecting from.

The reason I wrote my last post is that “weirdoboelady” had posted a suggested response which I found good, but several people reacted to it saying it was too polite and she didn’t deserve it, etc. So yes, I get that a lot of people may not be serious in their suggestions, but some are rejecting others’ more moderate suggestions, which is what I was speaking to. In truth I also suspect most people wouldn’t have the guts to say anything like what they suggest on MN, so maybe none of this means very much.

But apart from venting, I saw an opportunity on this forum to discuss the framing of things. Which can at the very least affect how one feels about the challenges of life. There’s an opportunity through these discussions to consider things in a less negative way and cultivate a personal ethic. I have come to realise that seems to be of little interest to many people posting in the thread, but I’ve chosen to participate to give that angle a voice. But I think I might save my breath next time :-)

Yeah that is bad. I would probably reply and say something about it.

The fact this mum has an 8 year old and the convo has never come up that we don’t all look the same and some people have disabilities?

Honestly I’d be tempted to ignore the message but she needs educating.

What heads up was she even expecting? I am just shocked to be honest

Diabolical. She sounds vile.

Exactly this.

When people have commented on DD's visible difference, even when it has been rude, I have always responded calmly and politely, and encouraged her to do the same.

Behind closed doors, and to friends, I absolutely vent, rip her to shreds, call her a cunt and anything else I feel like to make me feel better, then after an hour or so I'm back to normal, no harm done. This thread is just the same, the OP seems a reasonable and level headed person so I doubt she will respond in an inappropriate way and hopefully she feels better knowing most people are on the same page.

I would just ignore the text.

This ^

This is absolutely disgusting behaviour from that child’s Mum.

I bet she’s the type to have ‘#be kind all over he stupid social media too, thick b1tch

just react 😶 to the message. then nothing. speaks volumes