To not have invited my friend’s girlfriend to the wedding?

Exactly this. Please don’t let this stuff get to you, enjoy the rest of the wedding planning and your wedding itself. Congrats x

IMO it's impolite to have snubbed her given they are in a 'significant' relationship. The only time it wouldn't be rude would be if no one had plus ones. It doesn't bode well for your friendship with her going forward (or him if they end up getting married!).

I've only seen it on here not giving a plus one, he's a long standing friend, whether you've met her or not you'd give him a plus one.

Aren’t you putting the male friend in a difficult position? I would not want to stay friends with someone who doesn’t recognise my partner or girlfriend. Some people might not be overly friendly in new situations but she’s the girlfriend of a good friend. I’d never go as a guest substitute and I’d be amazed if she accepted such an offer.

In this case, as the GF has gone out of her way not to meet you, you didn't do anything wrong, and too bad if her nose was put out of joint.

Generally though I think it's nice to offer a plus one to single guests.

If your partner has gone out if their way to repeatedly snub the bride and groom, would you still be upset if he wasn't invited?

If so, wouldn't that be a completely ridiculous attitude to have?

It's only on mumsnet where I've seen that couples don't invite plus ones to weddings. I have never been to a wedding where that is the case, the exception being if it's a work colleague and a group is invited collectively.
I think it's very odd and I wouldn't be happy if this was the case for my partner. I think you could have been the bigger person and invited her. Why bring unnecessary drama to your big day? If he was such a good friend, you should have invited her.

@TeenLifeMum

Going to a wedding without a plus 1 shit. Honestly, who would want to do that?

Adults who are capable of going to work alone, seeing friends alone, having a good time on their own?

I've been to loads of weddings alone and had a fun time. It's actually usually better especially if it's your friends so you don't have to worry about babysitting the social inadequates who can't manage alone.

The 'incensed' description comes from the friend, not the girlfriend (I assume, since you have never met). He might be exaggerating her reaction.

It's your wedding, so it's your choice.

My choice would be to invite people as a couple, or with a plus one if they were single. I have been invited to a few weddings over the years as a single person and I never really enjoyed going on my own.

I do understand about the photos. On the couple of occasions I have gone as a plus one, I avoided the photos, apart from the big group one.

So you weren't unreasonable at all, but it's not what I would do.

Our wedding was extremely traditional. No partner invited unless there was an engagement or they had been together for a long time and knew both of us… It was not a finance thing (there was no budget and about 200 people in all) but I wasn’t asking my parents to spend hundreds of pounds pp on people I didn’t know.

YANBU. The friend’s girlfriend coming would have bumped someone else off the guest list, for one thing.

She does not live with him and he knows several other people who will be there.

But what really made me side with you is that she’s basically snubbed you and your husband nearly a dozen times and never deigned to meet you two in the whole two years she’s been with him. And you say she often cancels at the last minute.

She doesn’t deserve the spot that someone who with any actual interest in the bride and groom could have, nor the opportunity to blow you off at the last minute again after you’ve paid for her nasty self’s attendance.

I think her throwing a tantrum over it is hilarious. I’d enjoy it! 🤣

But at a wedding you don’t get to hang out with the newlyweds so it’s a very different in a wedding setting. He knows 5 others, but are they all single too?

Well he should 🤣

YANBU. People on here get a bit weird about wedding invites though, and plus ones. I don’t know how they imagine single people attend any event ever tbh.

But that aside; I have been to so so many weddings, with multiple different groups of friends/ family and there has never been any sort of kick off regarding invites/ lack there of. I’ve been to weddings where there were abundance of plus ones, because there was the space and finances to do as such. And ones where they were very limited due to venue, so some people came without partners because they weren’t close to the bride and groom. Can’t remember anyone not having a good time either way. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yabu. Bad form to invite a person and not a plus one. I would not attend alone if I was your friend but then again I am not and your friend is happy with it so who cares what the partner thinks?

Well once you are satisfied.

I personally would not leave out the partner, from a ten year friendship.

Unless we were actually an enemy.

Why would you have someone neither of has ever met at your wedding?

There was one person at my wedding ( kind of vague friend of husband) that I didn't know and I was mildly irritated by it.

No way some randomer who had multiple chances to meet us would have made it!

She doesn't have any respect or consideration for his friend (the bride) does she?

Why would you want to go to the wedding of your boyfriends friends that you have consistently refused to even meet, let alone make friends with?

I get your logic, but personally I would have invited my good friend’s partner of 2 years. I would do this for my friend, not for his partner’s sake.

Well, she has form for dropping out so you'd lose whatever you're paying per head for her and also, they don't even live together, so she' just a gf, NOT a partner.

Don't worry about it

Just ignore her. Life's too short. Your friend is fine with coming on his own, as he usually does when he spends time with you.

Personally I would never have invited a friend to my wedding and not invited their long term partner (which at two years she is).