What's a "normal" relationship between adult daughter and mother?

I speak to my mum daily but see her usually in school holidays and for the odd weekend. I speak to my other mum (mil) at least once a week and see her weekly. My mum had always given pracical and emotional support to me as a child. As an adult it's emotional support as she lives too far away for anything else. She does thrive on drama and can be negative (as can we all) but I'm an adult now and call her out on it. Hopefully not in a rude way but I am firm. Mil respects my boundaries as I do hers, she respects me as the mother of her grandchildren and we cultivate that relationship.

I am not dependent on either woman for my overall happiness though. They are a part of my life but not the sum of it if that makes any sense.

It sounds like there is a whole lot of issues in your relationship with your mum. You can address them or learn to let go her 'failings' you experienced as a child and move on with how she treats you as an adult. Parents aren't infallible, we make mistakes and learn from them. Not everyone is great at sharing themselves or opening themselves up emotionally but she does go out of her way for you practically. That's something you either be grateful for or you can hold onto past grievances. You have the power to make that choice.

I love her and care about her but find her easier to deal with in small doses. So I see her about once a week, phone calls in between, occasional weekends together, but wouldn’t go on holiday with her.

I don’t worry about her mental health. She’s a happy person. But if she was down, I’d make sure to up my support.

I was close to my mother before dementia took her. She would often call at night to hear about the children when they were young—but I also lived away from home in a remote area for three years so only contact was through letters. I love her very much and miss her with snd spirit now.

My own dds are 25 and 28 and are very close to me. One lives in another city and one at home. We text daily snd talk once a week when they are not at home. They are currently both here looking after me as I have just had surgery.

My mother is mentally ill but was only diagnosed later in life. Plus her personality is tricky as it is. Our relationship growing up wasn’t the greatest.

I’ve just accepted this is what I have. It’s what she can offer and it will never be better or more than that. We talk almost daily but it’s just very superficial or not about me. She knows very little about my life.

I suppose it depends on a few factors, including health & how close you live. My mum is mid 80's still in very good health and very active. We speak on the phone most days and I see her maybe 3 times a week. My mil is the same age, but her health is not so good, and she is living with dementia. She lives with us now, and I care for her full time.

My mum has passed away but when she was still with us I'd see her every week and we'd probably talk on the phone a couple of times a week.

Our mother and daughter relationship was most probably unusual compared to many others in that I was my mum's daughter,her best friend and confidont but it was what I grew up with so I never knew any different.

Looking back in some ways I would be expected to be the parent from around the age of 11 in that I would help my mum when she needed to go to the bank(because she was dyslexic)with filling out forms I'd go with her and hold her hand at her dentist appointments,she was terrified of the dentist bless her but thankfully I'm not.

But to be honest I didn't mind,I was happy to help her and I loved her and I miss her.

Mine and my DDs relationships our very different(we have 5DC,3DS and 2DD)our DD17 is obviously still at home and we're very close and we do lots of nice things together and she knows she can tell me or ask me anything and it'll never go any further and I'll always be there for her.

Our DD21 has her own home and is a young mum and we're very close,we see her a few times a week(she only lives round the corner)and she'll message me or ring me every day,she knows she can tell me or ask me anything and that I don't judge and that'll always keep what she tells me private. Myself and my DH are both very hands on with our Grandson and we help out with him alot which we love.
Me and both of my DDs have very similar personalities(we're all barmy)so we all get on really well and have a lot of fun together.

I wouldn't change how my relationship was with my own mum because she needed what she needed from me and I'm glad I could help her but I am proud of the fact that my relationship with my girls is different I'm very much the mum and they never have to look after me or spend their years worrying about me,they both know how loved they are and that their mum has the strength mentally and emotionally to always be there for them.

I’m not sure if it’s ‘normal’ or not but I see my mum usually once a week; she comes round on Saturday mornings when we are also (usually) looking after our niece (3yrs) while my sister and BIL both work Sat morning.
it’s very informal, she’s usually here for 2-3 hours but I get on with whatever - if I need to dry my hair, unload the dishwasher etc. She’ll just sit on the sofa with a cup of tea, chat to the grandkids, usually water my plants for me (in fact I rely on this!)
it’s a way of her spending time with the grandkids without being solo/‘in charge’ which she would find tiring (aged late 70s)
My sister or BIL will come around lunchtime to pick up niece and usually stay for a cup of tea. So this way mum's seen all her grandkids and both her daughters in an environment comfortable to her and vice versa so it works for us all.

I should point out she lives close to us - like 3 mins in a car - so it’s very easy to see each other this frequently.

I see my mam two or three times a week, we chat on messenger or WhatsApp every day and on the phone once or twice a week too.

We let each other know what we've both been up to, other things that have been going on with our lives like work, health, things our friends or other relatives have been up to, stuff about the kids (she also takes the kids out or to hers sometimes) we chat about things going on in the world, news etc. We sometimes go to the theatre or days out together, we're planning a cinema trip this week. I suppose it's quite like a friendship but with the added element that she'll still try and tell me off if she thinks she needs to.

Edited to add: we live about a 20 minute drive away from each other

I ring once a week as standard, but could be more if needed.

We chat via WhatsApp most days, normally for a gossip

We play words with friends!

See each other maybe every 4-6 weeks

Mine is awful. I barely see her.

It's like most relationships in it waxes and wains. I had a terrible experience with my own mother and sadly am much happier since she died as she can no longer ignore, criticise or reject me. I try really hard to be on good terms with my own adult daughters ut who knows.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/ninety_days_only/5281024-what-sort-of-relationship-can-i-have-with-my-mum-under-these-circumstances

Is this the other link?

Sorry OP, your link to previous post doesn't seem to be working. My mum lived about 3 hours away until she turned 80 and then moved just around the corner from me. I try and pop in every other day or so as she has some health issues now and can find it difficult to get out. We usually text once or twice a day. I appreciate that I'm close to my mum so it might be too much contact for some. I'd just aim for what you feel comfortable with, there's no right or wrong, it's different for everyone.

Link doesn't work for me
I see my mum on a weekly basis. There is a family group chat on messenger so we can all be in contact