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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cut off a friend for saying “you only have one mother?”

85 replies

ThatFancyExpert · 23/02/2025 21:45

A friend said this during a discussion about my relationship with my mother. I found it dismissive and invalidating. Just because someone is your mother, does that mean you have to tolerate a bad relationship? Or am I overreacting?

This is coming from someone who doesn’t talk to her dad and has said she won’t even go to his funeral - she plans to just send money to her siblings as her contribution instead. AIBU to find her comment hypocritical and unfair?

OP posts:
Waterboatlass · 23/02/2025 22:01

I get where you're coming from but could it have been meant as a 'hang fire, be sure before you make a permanent decision. I know what it's like to cut ties with a parent and it's not nice'? We don't know the tone or context.

bellocchild · 23/02/2025 22:00

ThatFancyExpert · 23/02/2025 21:45

A friend said this during a discussion about my relationship with my mother. I found it dismissive and invalidating. Just because someone is your mother, does that mean you have to tolerate a bad relationship? Or am I overreacting?

This is coming from someone who doesn’t talk to her dad and has said she won’t even go to his funeral - she plans to just send money to her siblings as her contribution instead. AIBU to find her comment hypocritical and unfair?

I cut ties with my mum when I was in my 30s. Never regretted it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/02/2025 21:59

She very hypocritical.

If she's been an amazing friend till now then maybe stay friends but just don't talk about parents and keep that boundary. Especially if you're in the same group. But I think it's unlikely this is her first offense so of course you can break up wit her

Hankunamatata · 23/02/2025 21:59

What over one comment. That's her opinion. She doesn't have to agree with you all the time. Why does she have to 'validate' your feelings

TwinklyPeachScroller · 23/02/2025 21:57

PencilForScale · 23/02/2025 21:55

The type of person who says 'you only have one mother' is someone who was lucky enough not to have a mother like mine or yours!

This. And if she doesn’t get it, she’s not a friend. You are not alone.

PencilForScale · 23/02/2025 21:55

The type of person who says 'you only have one mother' is someone who was lucky enough not to have a mother like mine or yours!

Ontherocksthisyear · 23/02/2025 21:55

It's a bit extreme to cut her off. If she was generally a rubbish friend and continually dismissive, then fair enough. Do you not value your friendship with her much? If one comment can cause you to cut her off entirely... it doesn't sound like it.

Twiceover · 23/02/2025 21:51

YANBU. I also have no relationship with my dad and find it a similarly dismissive and invalidating comment.

I also bet no one says 'you only have one daughter' to him!

myplace · 23/02/2025 21:49

You only have one, so it’s especially tragic when she’s rubbish.

Don’t let it get to you- she perhaps meant it as an ‘are you sure?’ rather than ‘I think you are wrong’.

GlobuleBrent · 23/02/2025 21:46

YANBU at all OP

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