To cut off a friend for saying “you only have one mother?”

why do you have to cut her off for saying that? That sounds a bit drastic. You could respond by saying you disagree with her point of view, have an argument about it, agree to disagree.
However if she's generally pissing you off then dial back on the friendship.

Well anyone who says that is a bit thick/lacking in emotional intelligence, neither traits are ones I want in a friend.

Unless OP is going to add extra info that changes the context, I really think it would be stupid to throw away a good friendship over a comment.

Especially given she's cut ties with her own father, is it not possible she was just trying to make sure you make the decision understanding the gravity of it and the complex feelings you might have later down the line?

Tbh in any case, it seems like quite a sensible thing for a friend to say. I'd much rather have a genuine friend who questions and makes me think through my decisions, even if my decision is the right one, than a yes-man to mindlessly "validate" my feelings with no regard for the consequences.

My manager always uses this phrase but with sadness. His parents were awful. For him it sums up why he tolerated behaviour from them that he wouldn't have from friends.
He's a well meaning idiot so I felt rather comforted when my nasty dad died.

Yes, I agree. I understand your reaction but if she's a good friend and you generally like her, look at the bigger picture before cutting her off. Good friends are almost impossible to find.

So if you cut off a friend everytime they say something you don't like how many will you have left?

You seem determined to cut off a other in your life, are you over sensitive, is it a pattern when people don't agree with you just to cut them off ?

I have a birth mom, adoptive mom, and step mom.

Some of us have more than one mother and none of them are great.

I would ask her to clarify what she meant.

She’s saying how she feels about her mother and projecting it on to your. I’m sure if you said the same about her dad she’d feel the same as you. I’d probably explain this to her rather then go off in a huff, if you’re good friends that is.

If your friend is aware there is a rift then it's a huge overstep. If you've just had an argument with your mother it's a way people try to offer perspective. Either way, if she's an otherwise good friend, no I'd not cut her off for it unless she kept on and on about it. If we dump the people in our lives everytime they say or do something we don't care for, we risk pinballing between short term friendships, constantly falling out with people. Cutting people off imo is reserved for those we really can't tolerate because they make us miserable, not a punishment for getting it wrong.

I think terminating a friendship because the other person says something you disagree with is far odder than someone parroting a cliché.

I don't really get what people are trying to get at with the 'you only have one mother' comment. Because you can't have another you must put up with this one treating you like shit? It doesn't make any sense.

Is it possible your friend does not agree with your reasons? Or think they are serious enough? Is she being a good friend in fact, by being honest with you? I encourage honesty in all of my relationships, so would welcome a different view and to consider another angle.

Your extreme reaction to her suggestion does rather highlight you are unable to tolerate a different view, surely if you were making the right decision it would withstand some scrutiny?

I'd say my DIL would disagree there;her mother was a addict who was neglectful and chose abusive men over her children's safety.

My DIL was removed from her care aged 11.

She's been raised by her stepmother from 11 and then also by myself from age 16;she has two other mums who aren't biologically related but we both love her like she's our own daughter.

Well, did you ask her what she meant by it? Did you have a conversation about what to do with difficult parental relationships and how you decide if you need to cut them off? Because you do, in fact, only have one mother and tha5 is a relevant fact. Why would you go straight to cutting off a friend who says so?

What an overreaction. So she was hypocritical ? So call her out on it. Say "that's rich, coming from someone who won't go to her dad's funeral. You only have one father, right ?"

No need to turn it into drama.

I'd say it could've been to express concern for you if you fully cut your mum off. If she's estranged from her dad she may have a very close relationship with her mum, and fear it could be even worse for you to exclude her completely. Obviously she could be very much mistaken.
I don't think you should fall out with your friend over it. Have a healthy adult conversation about why you know that's the case, but you have your own valid reasons for cutting contact. Or if you'd rather not go into it further just avoid speaking about it with her.

But aren't plenty of these silly cliches hurtful to someone, in the same way that special days, Christmas etc can evoke pain when they aren't supposed to really.

But yes, if the dear friend is using a silly cliche to shut op up then of course ditching or distancing is what most people would do.

But it’s true - you only have one mother. Take it from someone who is a terrible relationship with her mum and Imwhen I left home I barely contacted her. But - with saying all of that she’s my mum, she had me and she stuck around. I love her from a distance as she can be quite toxic but I’ve learned how to protect myself and over the years she has calmed down and respects that I’m a grown up too.

There are people that yearn to know their biological parents - and whenever I hear that comment, I interpret it to mean that - we only have one biological mother - we are in a lucky position to know who they are at least - but unlucky for having the poor relationship. Yes, we only have one biological mother but we can adopt other mother figures along the way.

No, we don't.

Clearly somebody gave birth. But that's it for some. I don't only have one mother, I never had a mother.

to someone who has been abused or neglected it comes off as

"suck it up, your abuse is not relevant, thats your parent and they can do as they wish and get special treatment'

Its hypocritical of her to say it considering she is NC with her own father and rather rude and insensitive of her if she knows your history

Its a guilting statement and i hate it, heard it since i was 15 about my own father. My response was 'if you think he so great, go live with him and cop the same crap i did'

Cutting her on this time, maybe not, say it again, for sure, snip snip byeeee.

Fair enough. We all have different experiences, after all. I suppose I’ve just had this said to me once too many times myself and know how hurtful it can be. Only OP really knows the context and I shouldn’t project.

See 'you only have one mother' sounds like a silly cliche to me, rather than loaded. It's as deep as any slogan on a card.

Fucking hell, typical MN - cut someone off, go no contact and never speak to them again because they said something that you don't agree with 🙄

Sorry, but I think this is totally mental. YABU