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Original poster

To think men often 'do better' for their 2nd family?

159 replies

GoodToBeHome · 23/02/2025 16:22

Of all the men I know that have met/married and had children with another woman after divorce from the first wife seem to do much better by the second family than they did the first. They are almost partner/parent of the year the second time around!
Is it just because they are finally more mature? More settled down? There must be something to it as it happens too often just to be coincidence.

OP posts:
Partybaggage · 23/02/2025 16:27

Me and my dc are my husband second family. He's done better this time because the mother of his first child was emotionally and physically abusive to him and I'm not.

It's not always the man that's the reason for the first relationship breaking down.

polinkhausive · 23/02/2025 16:27

Not all relationships end because of the man - sometimes they were a decent husband and father the first time and it was either more about their first wife or just not being right for each other

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/02/2025 16:26

I think it varies wildly.

Some certainly try to paint themselves as partner of the year.

Some have learned their lesson from the first time or are more mature and genuinely do better second time round.

Some are the same or even worse second time than first - that’s why you read about these men with whole strings of families - none of whom they take care of!

Just depends I think.

ViciousCurrentBun · 23/02/2025 16:26

Lots of people settled down too young when I was young, I’m not excusing their behaviour obviously. I do not know any couple who got together in their twenties and are together still, I’m in my late fifties.

SemperIdem · 23/02/2025 16:25

Perhaps more mature, more aware of what it takes to make a relationship work, more aware of their own flaws.

I think both men and women learn from failed relationships.

ByMerryKoala · 23/02/2025 16:25

That's not my observation. Although it might look that at the outset when things are fresh. With this, along with just about everything else, past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour and those second families can get pretty chaotic, pretty damn quick.

5128gap · 23/02/2025 16:25

Perhaps they think their second family is the last chance saloon, and if they're a rubbish dad again they won't get a third woman who'll have them, and they'll end up growing old in a bedsit.

RawBloomers · 23/02/2025 16:25

GoodToBeHome · 23/02/2025 16:22

Of all the men I know that have met/married and had children with another woman after divorce from the first wife seem to do much better by the second family than they did the first. They are almost partner/parent of the year the second time around!
Is it just because they are finally more mature? More settled down? There must be something to it as it happens too often just to be coincidence.

More mature and choose a partner who suits them better.

Also, I think the ones who really, really don't want family at all are less likely to go on and make the same mistake twice (not that they never do, but it weeds out some of the total wastes of space).

Edited to say - Sorry, didn't intend to quote the OP

TheHeartyTiger · 23/02/2025 16:24

Agree this has been the case of what I have witnessed myself too with friends