To think that most friendships are just convenience and people drop you the moment you’re not useful?

Not my experience at all. You need better friends.

Add in those who ghost and I don't even want to use the word "friend" anymore.

I voted YABU, because you are overgeneralising. I'm not saying that some friendships aren't transitory and situational, (a lot of work friendships fall into that category) but if they are good for a time, does that really matter? I have one or two very close friends whom I've known all my life, and then an outer circle of people who I get on with very well but am less close to. I don't think of it in terms of being 'useful'.

Over the years I've had a couple of people pop up when I've had something terrible happen as well as the many who have disappeared.

I'm not sure which is worse, the ones who don't give a shit, or the ones who grief vulture for attention.

I find it's a mix. For years I was happy having bare minimum input from people and just didn't expect more. I'm talking child having major life saving surgery, parents with cancer, loss of family members etc I got the odd text. These things all happened when I was very young as in early 20s. As time went on and more of the friendship group started experiencing major life events and I was there with flowers, food, cards, constant emotional support I started to feel a bit jaded and realised I got none of this. I've pulled back from alot of people as they don't fill my cup. So I feel like I was the one who was a lifelong friend but didn't mean the same to them and so I've pulled away to focus on myself and my family

I agree unfortunately.

I had some really bad health issues and most people disappeared out of my life then.

Also my so-called best friend of 13 years moved out the city we both lived in 3 years ago and did not even say goodbye to me. She just stopped messaging one day and that was it.

I am an independent and resilient person so I never put any heavy expectations on people but I must say I have been shocked by how quickly people disappear once you are no longer convenient to them.

Now that I am in my 50s I only see people as acquaintances and although I might enjoy their company I don't kid myself that this is anything deeper than that.

Some friendships are situational but really close friends will be there for you through thick and thin. And even if circumstances mean you can't see each other frequently or drop out of each other's lives a bit, you can pick up where you left off even after months or years.

Friends have been infinitely more accepting, loving and reliable than family for me in my life. They're my chosen family.

No they don't. Maybe that's just what you do 🤷‍♀️

friends for a reason, season or life

i think it’s ok to have friends for a short while if that’s what happens. People move, jobs change, kids don’t get on.

I haven’t experienced this. My friends have been very supportive during rough patches and tragedies. And I to them.

If those friends disappear during the hard times then they really weren’t your friend to start with and you are better off not having them in your life.

i have 2 amazing friends who we have been through thick and thin with eg cancer, death of parents, illness etc. real friends.

Yes, I’m afraid so. I went through a very difficult patch with a very ill child. You learn who your friends are!