DP making inappropriate comments about friends appearance

Seriously- you call this banter???? It's OP's close friend!

He could have just she was nice and single. Didn't need to go on about her body in any way, shape or form (literally).
He's not being protective (weird argument, there was nothing to be protective about), he was being gross and it seemed even his mate was embarrassed.

And he's looking at bikini pics of said friend.
Re describing a good looking male friend, I doubt OP would have gone on about him being ripped etc

As other PPs have said, 'boys will be boys' is you/society allowing men to behave in a really shit fashion.

Oh, that's grim. Humiliating and embarrassing all round. Please throw this one back. He clearly fancies your friend and worse, is making crass comments to his mate in front of you which is all levels of wrong. What the hell does he say when you're not there?

The fact that you're also anticipating him not being mortified and apologetic, but instead argumentative if you raise it, also speaks volumes.

Do not put this twat on your mortgage and please don't have kids with him. Your body will change and your confidence will fluctuate and this kind of misogynistic prick will not be a good partner. Imagine him as a father of teenage dds, ffs!!!! NO.

I was thinking that too!

I’m thinking it was just bravado in front of his friend

Can you see what you're doing here? Think about him looking at your friend's body on that photo. Now think about what he said. I would get rid of him but I think you are going to excuse this and face the same problem again and again.

Please don't tie yourself down financially with such an utter creep and don't even think of trying yourself down with having children together.

I don't think adding this man to your mortgage would be a wise move.
Also the fact that you don't sit on his face, for me, makes the comment so much worse. He's fantasising about doing something to her that he doesn't even give to you, wtf.

This is how men talk with one another. Your issue is that he fancies your friend.

I get why you are feeling annoyed by his comments as they were childish.

But I’m not sure how he can say she’s attractive with a nice body, without upsetting you.

I actually think I prefer him to have said it in this banter sort of way, instead of saying she’s really beautiful with a nice figure, especially if he knows you’re a bit self conscious.

I think it was his clumsy attempt of protecting your feelings and for that I would just forget about it and move on.

How would you have described DH’s friend to your friend (if he’s good looking)?

🤮

Horrendous, sorry.

Yes he was absolutely looking at photos of your friend in a bikini

Do not add this man to your mortgage. He's put nothing into acquiring the home. Don't give him a free house!

What a pig.

I had an ex once randomly tell me how OW had an amazing arse (mine is flat which he knew I was self conscious about). I just smiled and replied “my ex husband is hung like a horse unlike you so I guess we can’t be blessed with everything”. Then pacified him that size isn’t the be all and end all.

Some time these awful individuals need negged back. I would be ditching him after a comment like that. Whenever you see your friend, you will be reminded of what he said.

“Boys will be boys” is just another phrase to excuse sexist, completely inappropriate predatory behaviour. I would be getting rid as he has shown his true colours and attitude towards women.

I think especially with the photos bit, it's clear he fancies your friend. I couldn't put up with a comment like that.

There are better men out there to have put on your hard earned mortgage or have kids with.

Just think you'll be forever looking over your should every time he is around your friend. Obviously it's not your friend's fault but I could not tolerate this from my partner.

Not ok by any stretch. Alcohol just brings out people's truths. Would not be ok with my partner saving this conversation for the pub either. His friend obviously picked up on the inappropriateness!

And what about what he does or says when he's not at home? This is just a glimpse...

Come on @Robin87 You are already making excuses for him with 'err yeah but..' and 'boys will be boys' type comments suggesting 'he's not that bad really.'

If you had kids, and a man who was a lazy tosser who never lifted a finger in the house and spent all the family money, and gambled your savings away, you'd say 'oh but he is such a good dad!'

He is a complete arsehole. Raise your bar, and throw this one back in the sea.

@UnderHisEeyore · Today 09:54

Thank you for reminding me once again why I stay single.

🙄

This daft and tedious comment comes up on every thread where a poster complains about her man. Not all men are total arseholes, it's not a 'better life' as a single person, and you're not superior to the OP or anyone else in a relationship because you're single.

Obviously only people who are having problems in their relationship/marriage are going to post on here. If anyone posted to say their relationship is amazing/ great/ perfectly OK, they would be accused of being 'smug marrieds.' And people rarely post to say positive things. People constantly make complaints about things, but very rarely write to praise or compliment anything.

So just because you are seeing complaints about men on here, (and seeing shitty relationships,) that doesn't mean all men are arseholes and it's better to be single. I'm not saying it's better to be in a relationship or that people who are, are superior, but I do get sick of the barbed comments on this type of thread from single people, saying 'I am soooooo glad I'm single.' Well I am sooooooooo glad I'm married!

Tell him he can no longer have his friends around to play if he is going to behave like a silly little boy! What an arsehole!!
If he claims it was 'the drink talking' tell him to lay off it in future.

He was daft to say it out loud in front of you rather than just to his friend.
Oh and he certainly thinks about fucking your friend OP, so worth keeping that in mind.

Does he um, park your arse on his face every night?
or is he making himself out to be a more generous lover than he actually is? Coz that part would probably piss me off the most!

Eewwwww what a creep

I’m thinking it was just bravado in front of his friend.

Most likely, but that is not OK! It's disgusting, demeaning behaviour to you, your friend and women in general.

He might not generally go around behaving like Sid James, but this is a little insight into the real workings of his mind that goes on beneath the veneer of decent and acceptable behaviour day to day.