DP making inappropriate comments about friends appearance

Yes this. Dump him ASAP.

Say what now?

Think of his reaction in the reverse, he has an attractive single friend who was recently left "why would she leave him, imagine having that body all up on you every night 😛"

You moved this sleazeball in before you really knew him. Bad move.

You know he is attracted to your friend and most likely used your friend's photo for wanking. You know he lies, you didn't leave it open.

How are you going to have your friend over exposing her to your sleazy partner?

You got a good look at the him under the mask and whoo boy, he's crass and crude. I don't know how you can minimize this.

He's 100% been tugging off over your friend.

He is a creep.

Nasty remark. You should have called it out there and then. Us women must be more proactive and assertive.

This is crass and vulgar and simply disgusting. However I am always surprised that people who have sex being unmarried, hence dp, not dh or dw (both men and women) talk about somebody disrespecting them.

I’d love to know how he would react if you’d replied that you’d love to have his friends cock in your mouth every night. He’d just laugh, right?

I would have called him out when he made those disgusting comments about your friend. I do hope you say something.

I wonder what he was doing staring at your friend's behind in the photo while you weren't there. Your responses seem to lean towards minimize his behaviour than face the implications. Also, the boys will be boys rationalization needs to die. Whether by mothers regarding their sons, or by partners. It just needs to stop.

I could never fancy him again and that’s the truth.

Plus your poor friend. I would have to defend her, it's awful she's been discussed like a piece of meat. I wouldn't be waiting for his hangover to improve. He's a prick.

Bravado in front of his friend ?
What about you ? Does what his friend think trump respect for you and your feelings then?

Are you beginning to think you don’t really know your DP ? Is he thinking of other women while in bed with you ?

The bikini photo is likely something he had a wank over.
Totally icky behaviour.
Even his friend was embarrassed by him from the sound of it.

The thing is, he's said it now & you won't be able to forget it. You know what he thinks about your friend & anytime you're intimate with him it'll be ticking away in your brain.

I wouldn't forgive him.

Not only is he fine with humiliating you in front of someone else, he is also sexualising your friend AND speaking as though he has imagined sex acts with her.

So beyond disrespectful and gross. I wouldnt easily forgive this actually. It shows his mindset is deeply immature.

Does he have issues with porn?

Clearly the occasional woman on here ( not OP) puts up with sleazy public behaviour from their partner just because 'boys will be boys' -

It would be sheer insanity to put a boyfriend on your mortgage. Protect your asset and financial security at all costs.

Not much point in having a chat with the knuckledragger. He'll just say he was joking or pick a fight with you. Tell him to get out of your property and consider if you really need to date this man.

@Whoknew24 @Mog65 he's just a boyfriend, dating for 2yrs and OP is housing him.

I'm so sorry OP - I honestly would ask my H to move out if he said something like that- does he seriously think you are ok about this kind of talk? Is he like this normally. If it's bit of a one off I would certainly tell him he embarrassed you and was totally unacceptable wouldn't be asking my friend round either.

Vile. Amy man who uses ‘it’ or ‘that’ about a woman makes my skin crawl. He’s embarrassed you in front of his friend as well, who was clearly mortified.
The photo thing - that would end it for me.
Two years can be a time when the mask really does slip and you see the real person. He’s living in your home as well.
I could never look at him again and imagine being around your friend.

^ This. I definitely think the bigger issue here is the OP's self esteem and it would guess it is pretty low to be around someone who verbalises comments like that.

She needs to demand better. Raise her bar. Get rid.

Typical mumsnet ?

what women having respect for themselves ? They’re adults and married he’s sneaking about getting pictures of her in a bikini and gave a detailed account of her sexually.

so how would you as a female with respect for herself plod along when your husband wants to fuck your best friend ? Not only that he let it be known right in front of your face. For me that would be it marriage over.

By the sound of it, it appears that even his friend was embarrassed. So much for boy banter.

@Robin87 you've thankfully had a glimpse into the future of what your life will be like if you stay with him. Add kids and losing half your house to that and you've got the full package.

He's actively looking at other women and very likely weighing up his options. This man does not respect you and therefore probably doesn't really love you enough to even feign respect in front of his friend.

Question is, what are you going to do about it?

Seriously? I worked in a pub for about 10 years and this kind of conversation is very commonplace amongst men, not all, but a lot.
We'd have had no punters left if the landlord chucked them all out.

Was it the same friend ?

Anyway his comments were truly truly vile. I could sort of accept a one off comment with a bit of inappropriateness but his comments were more than that. And his friend didn’t encourage him so it was entirely on your DP.