Is this an act of kindness?

I think he was trying to be kind letting you sleep. If he had woken you, you probably would have moaned about that.

He might have assumed the towel wasn't that wet as you were lying with it on the bed wrapped around you. Surely you must have given that a thought and didn't just go from standing and drying yourself to being flat asleep on the bed without choosing to lie down, in which case you should have got a blanket or realised at this point you were exhausted so told him you were going to head off to bed (following your nightly routine).

Your comments about if it had been the other way round you would have laid out pyjamas for him is a bit silly and infantising. You are both adults.

Maybe tell him next time you fall asleep to wake you if that's what you really want.

I would not get worked up about this. I can see how he thought he was doing you a favour

I think the fact that you chose to lie down on the bed like that would mean that I would have left you.
If my DH falls asleep on the sofa, I try and wake him or cover him up as he obviously didn't mean to sleep there for hours. If he took himself off to a bed (in whatever room) then I would assume he had deliberately chosen to sleep like that and would leave him to it. I would also assume that he had already completed his nighttime routine and wouldn't feel the need to check.
I also wouldn't think he would put a damp towel on the bed.

Gosh men are always in the wrong aren't they?!

I would’ve killed him if he’d woken me up. You needed the sleep.
For all he knew your lenses were already out, I’ve gone to bed and slept with mine in a few times, so has DH. I probably wouldn’t have thought to cover you either.
It’s not cruel it’s just not putting that level of thought in to things.
Tell him to wake you up next time you nod off, or set your own alarm.
Edit to say I wouldn’t go to bed/lie down in a wet towel either.

Why would you lie on a bed if you didn’t want to sleep there, especially if you’re a contact lens wearer? You’re being a bit unfair. You chose to go to sleep under the towel!

Having a 'quick lie down' with your contact lenses in is never a good idea.

He probably didn’t give the contact lenses a second thought. He should have tried to wake you, and if you didn’t stir, put a blanket over you. Does feel a bit uncaring for him to just go to bed and leave you there with a damp towel over you.

Exactly - we could just as easily be reading a thread saying - I have a small baby, I can’t believe my ARSEHOLE husband decided to WAKE me on the rare occasion I got to close my eyes etc. I’m not going to be able to go back to sleep now! RANT

I'd have nudged and if that failed, blanketed.

DP often falls asleep without his CPAP on, I will make several attempts to wake him to put it on as he will otherwise a/ snore like the loudest pig on earth and wake me/stop me falling asleep and b/wake up feeling bloody awful having deprived himself of oxygen all night (and c/ possibly kark it in the night).

If I am really struggling to stay awake and he keeps waking up and denying he's even asleep I might tell him to fuck off after attempt three or four though!

I think leaving you in the dark to freeze and wake up feeling awful is pretty shitty, in no way an 'act of kindness', feels more like a 'well fuck you' really!

This

I would have let you sleep (and I would have considered that a nice thing to do).

I would have preferred to be left to sleep.

It's not reasonable to expect him to do what you want unless you tell him.

Even then I'd be wary waking up another adult - my ExH had a habit of jumping awake suddenly.

He could not have been expected to know or even consider whether you still had your lenses in.

He probably just fell asleep himself, expecting you to be in at any minute. You are incredibly fortunate if you think any of this is cruel.

If it is really bothering you maybe just say, I woke up freezing, couldn't you have chucked a blanket over me? See what he says.

I might have preferred to be left to sleep in this situation. A blanket might have woken me. Difficult to know what the right thing to do is unless this is something you’ve talked about before.

If you were that cold and uncomfortable, surely you'd have woken up?? He just let you sleep. I really think calling it cruel is a massive overreaction.

Oh wow, can't please anybody these days

If he had been the one to fall asleep would you have woken or covered him? If he had fallen asleep would he want/expect you to wake or cover him?

Can you use this experience to talk with him about what you're feeling and going through right now, and how he can best do his part of the childcare and support you if you're still in the phase where you need to do most of it? I would not start from the standpoint of calling him uncaring or saying that you hate what he did, but just - ask him to tell you what he was thinking and feeling, and tell him how you felt, and work from there. I don't know your circumstances, but the sooner you can get him routinely doing his half of the childcare, the better for all of you, and most especially for the baby.

You fell asleep, you clearly needed it and that's probably as far as he thought.

The next person would've complained if their DH had woken them up.

You’re being incredibly dramatic and precious about this. You fell asleep and he didn’t want to disturb you, and you’re using words like ‘cruel’? Jesus.

You’d wake someone who fell asleep with their lenses in, surely, knowing how uncomfortable it is to peel them out after an unplanned nap?

Breastfeeding mothers need additional hydration.

YANBU. I don't see that he could have done much about the teeth or contact lenses (though I might have tried to wake my DH up enough for him to deal with these things), but there's no way I would leave someone sleeping under a wet towel with and just go to bed.

If you're tired in the evenings and likely to doze off, do you have some glasses you can wear?