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Original poster

To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

204 replies

poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:10

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 23/02/2025 01:26

It sounds like you both just need to sleep it off and start the day afresh. If this is not usually how your nights out tend to go? If he acts in the way you describe them it sounds very one sided. But it's difficult to know how much his comments on your behaviour when drunk have an element of truth, and vice versa.

Confusedandscare · 23/02/2025 01:25

You guys need to not drink together if your relationship is to survive. You make bad drinking partners

Fraaances · 23/02/2025 01:24

I’m sorry but lashing out like he has with all that unreasonable anger sounds like he’s cheating or wants to cheat. He is very much acting like he’s been living “The Script.” I’d be getting my things in order to see a solicitor. I couldn’t live with that kind of disdain.

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 01:23

@JudgeBread it seems you're never too old for your dh to talk to you like shit all night. Wasn't my choice he did that

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 23/02/2025 01:20

You all are in your 50's?! This sounds like the kind of nonsense me and my mates fell out over at 19 after a night getting plastered on schnapps in a graveyard or some shit. Are you not too fucking old for this kind of buffoonery?

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 01:19

I'm neither a troll or a drunk
Why would I be deemed as either of these just because I said I'd be better off dead ? Tonight my dh says truly made me feel like the biggest bag of shite ever
And I'm deemed a troll or drunk for that ? !?
What ever

OP posts:
FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 01:15

You've just said you would be better off dead...

That's not a normal reaction, especially from a 50 year old

Either you are in fact a troll or you are very drunk and don't realise

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 01:13

I now know what dh really thinks of me. He's often said I say things when I really mean x and why don't i just say x as that's what I mean/want. That has never been true. Ever. Now this.
I adore dh. But it seems I'm misinterpreted in every saying and action.
I would be better off dead then I can't be misinterpreted or understood or annoying or sat the wrong thing ever again
No I'm not drunk.

OP posts:
Dumbledoresniece · 23/02/2025 01:10

OP, maybe you should get some sleep.

ItGhoul · 23/02/2025 01:10

OP, I think it’s likely that you are also very drunk. I would try to get some sleep now if I were you.

BIossomtoes · 23/02/2025 01:09

Nanny0gg · 23/02/2025 01:07

You're in your 50s??

Dear heaven, I thought it was early 20s!

Time you both grew up

Show quote history

I thought they both sound about 12.

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 01:07

Not normal behaviour. The bit where he said I say to him "I know you did x but I'm not prepared to say what x is". Is total bulllshit. I have never once knowingly said this ever in 20 years.
I do believe that what you say when drunk is the truth. At least now I know what he truly thinks of me. Maybe be has a guilty conscious...

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 23/02/2025 01:07

poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:21

The throw away away comment was this: I said to dh that my mates always joke what is the oldest you would date now if single. We are all early 50s inc DH. I said 60. Dh said 25. I said we all know why you said that and laughed. I said this because we were watching a you tube video together the other night and it was a 25 yo you tuber and I joked he fancied her.

You're in your 50s??

Dear heaven, I thought it was early 20s!

Time you both grew up

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 01:05

@poonarmme Sorry OP, but your posts are so confusing I'm not convinced you're sober either. Maybe get some sleep and see how you feel in the morning?

murasaki · 23/02/2025 01:03

poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:55

@murasaki he spoke to me like shit. He accused me of apparently what I was going to say. He accused me of always saying "I know you did x not I'm not saying what x is". I have absolutely never said in my life. He said "you're so naive just f off and dance" then called me completely stupid. He won't remember any of this tomorrow.
But I will

It sounds shitty from him, and like he thought some guy was perving at you dancing, while you hadn't even noticed and it might not have been true anyway. I fiddle with my necklace too, and my friend said it draws eyes to your tits, I genuinely hadn't thought of that and that wasn't why I was doing it, I'm a fidgeter and it just happens. I can't help it so don't care.

I hope you can sort it out tomorrow.

Devianinc · 23/02/2025 01:03

And don’t drink after you just got out of the hospital.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 01:03

Your reactions on here lead me to think you are much drunker than you claim and you are still looking for a fight...

Devianinc · 23/02/2025 01:02

This man doesn’t respect you. You came out of the hospital and went clubbing. You should be home getting yourself well. It seems like he really didn’t want you at the bars with him and you wrecked his night. Take from there, this man isn’t worth your spit. Move on and don’t go out to bars anymore, explicitly with him.

CatsWhiskerz · 23/02/2025 00:57

Is this normal behaviour for him? My DH and I are similar ages, been together 29 years and I'd be absolutely shocked if he spoke to me like this. Has there been issues at work ir something else going on or is this something not that unexpected from him?

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:55

@murasaki he spoke to me like shit. He accused me of apparently what I was going to say. He accused me of always saying "I know you did x not I'm not saying what x is". I have absolutely never said in my life. He said "you're so naive just f off and dance" then called me completely stupid. He won't remember any of this tomorrow.
But I will

OP posts:
Deadringer · 23/02/2025 00:54

Christ on a cracker you both sound like teenagers.

murasaki · 23/02/2025 00:51

It sounds like you're both drink, sleep it off and recalibrate in the morning.

I suspect you're particularly disappointed as you hadn't had a night out in ages and it went wrong. Which I get.

But in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth fighting over? If it is a pattern of behaviour that's a bit different though.

Original poster
poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:48

I really feel like note to self :
Don't say a thing as it could be taken out of context. Don't accidentally insinuate/suggest/or otherwise. Say absolutely nothing then you can't be accused. Just answer when appropriate and nothing else.

I feel so very sad. For him to say he was pissed at me for what I was ABOUT to say. I hadn't even said what he thought I would say. For him to then say it's the same every time I have a drink and I did similar last night. Yet he couldn't give me an example from last night. Last night I had a drink at home with him. I was not drunk. I know what I said and that was nothing out of sort.

He doesn't deserve me

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 23/02/2025 00:46

Bet hes pissed off that he had to do everything while you were in hospital

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 00:45

You're both in your 50s?
Shit I expected younger

Considering that on MN a 50 year old man wanting a 25 year old is one step above a peado, I can see why he took it badly

Are you 100% sure you don't say things when drunk?

Maybe he saw a bloke letching over you whilst you danced whom you ignored but he felt jealous of?

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