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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell you about my night out with Dh. I'm fuming.

204 replies

poonarmme · 23/02/2025 00:10

I've been ill for 3 weeks in hospital. Home and able to go out out. The night went like this:
We went to a bar with music. I made a throw away joke/comment. Dh got the arse about it and spent 1.5 hours going on about it. Saying he needed space. And that i clearly have issues with him and that i need to say what these are. I said there are no issues. He said I'm a liar. He then preceeded to say I was drunk and he knew what was coming next, as its always what I say when drunk, and he was totally fed up over what I was allegedly about to say. I was gobsmacked. Apparently I always harp on about the same thing when drunk and i always say "I know all about you but I'm not prepared to say what it is I know". I don't say this and never have done in 20 years together. He clearly thinks differently
We then went into a different bar, a cab drive away. They had a live band. I was dancing. He said "are you really that naive I just want to punch him" I was like "what you talking about" he said "your so naive just f off and dance". Lots of other other similar comments like this from him through out the eve. We then left and started walking.
He said he wanted food on the way home and said "we will get a home delivery". I said do you mean a delivery at home ( we were almost at the food shop) he said "are you completely stupid why would we do that when we're at the food shop". He was v drunk but denied this.
I just feel like he has treated me like shit all night

OP posts:
SALaw · 23/02/2025 09:42

After an hour and a half of him being horrible to you, why go by taxi to another venue together to continue the drinking and arguing?

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 09:33

Hope you've woken up sober from not being drunk yesterday...

And, as PP have said, are you the drunk sitting in the cold? Because it does sound similar...

Hazylazydays · 23/02/2025 09:30

You sound as if you’re both behaving like teenagers instead of adult 50 year olds.
Maybe it’s time you both grow up and cut down on the drinking.
It all sounds quite pathetic ‘ he said this, she said that,’ that’s what kids do in the playground.

loveyoutothemoonandtosaturn · 23/02/2025 09:23

OP I hope you're feeling ok this morning. By the sounds of it you both had too much to drink and maybe were just annoying each other. Most of us will have been there. I'd lay off it for a while, especially as you've been in hospital for 3 weeks.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 23/02/2025 09:19

There’s too much drama in all of this. You can either leave or remove alcohol from the relationship. If not, the pair of you are stuck in this merry-go-round for a long time.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 23/02/2025 09:15

OldChairMan · 23/02/2025 05:51

May be he's just a nightmare to be around and you don't need to make up little stories in an attempt to justify his behaviour.

Maybe she's a nightmare to be around and telling the story to make her look better?

Seeing as she deliberately didn't mention the "joke" she made at first. And her overreactive posts here...

Bogginsthe3rd · 23/02/2025 09:10

AuntAgathaGregson · 23/02/2025 08:04

Why quote the OP? Every comment on here is taken to relate to the OP unless you say otherwise.

The heavy drinking binge post 3 week hospital stay is worrying

BallerinaRadio · 23/02/2025 09:08

Fucking hell I'd be deleting this as soon I'd woken up from my hangover from not being drunk what an embarrassment

dottiedodah · 23/02/2025 09:06

Time to grow the fuck up? ! Really reading your post I thought you were early 20s! I am a similar age to you. Had cancer and not drinking at all.i think u need to consider your liver if you have been ill.also any DC whatever age its a bad example to them

EmeraldShamrock000 · 23/02/2025 08:58

Alcohol is very bad for some people, including myself.

Stop drinking together at the very least.

ssd · 23/02/2025 08:52

friendlycat · 23/02/2025 00:28

I’m gobsmacked you’re both in your 50s and behaving like this.

This. You sound like a right pair of fannies

GettingThingsDoneSlowly · 23/02/2025 08:48

Sounds like you both need to stop drinking as that always makes things worse. Also I lost track of what the actual issue is, how old are you? This sounds really petty

Luddite26 · 23/02/2025 08:40

You both don't sound very happy together.
Stop drinking both of you or split up.
Throwaway comments like yours can wind men up you probably know this and you know your dh is moody how did you want him to react.
My.mum used to do that to my step dad or get me to say things as a 7 year old child like oh do you want to go in that strip club if we were in London. It was like lighting a touch paper then seeing the drama unfold which regularly ended in him throwing his stuff all over her and leaving in a taxi in the middle of the night.
Drink just doesn't mix in your sort of relationship.

biscuitsandbooks · 23/02/2025 08:38

You both sound delightful.

JustRollWithIt · 23/02/2025 08:29

You are not compatible when drinking together.

Lyn397 · 23/02/2025 08:23

You both need to stop drinking.

rainbowstardrops · 23/02/2025 08:22

Sooverwork · 23/02/2025 02:23

You both sound like pissed 17 year olds. I just also find it weird that after being in hospital for 3 weeks you choose a boozy night out at pubs / music venues.

Quite.

Titasaducksarse · 23/02/2025 08:22

What an exhausting way to live your lives.

Irisilume · 23/02/2025 08:17

He sounds kind of unhinged and paranoid. I had an ex like this and he was constantly insinuating I was cheating or up to something, and I'm getting the same vibe from your DH. Is this unusual behaviour for him?

5128gap · 23/02/2025 08:16

Your husband is a nasty drunk. If he's only nasty when drunk but wonderful the rest of the time, don't go out drinking with him again. If he's also nasty when sober then you need to review your relationship. I know for certain I'd not be spoken to like that more than once.

Sherararara · 23/02/2025 08:13

Ritzybitzy · 23/02/2025 08:10

You’ve just come out of hospital and you both decide the first thing to do is go out out.

You're both toxic. Irresponsible at best. This was drunken nonsense. I suggest you both join AA.

Yup. You both sound like immature idiots tbh.

Nowvoyager99 · 23/02/2025 08:13

Stravaig · 23/02/2025 07:08

Is this a new NHS aftercare protocol? 'On release from hospital, please ensure immediate binge drinking in a mutually toxic relationship.'

Ask your GP for a general health check, alcohol support, and a counselling referral. You seem to be engaged in multiple destructive behaviours.

Quite.

I hope you return to this thread sober @poonarmme as I think you genuinely need some help.

Your life sounds pretty shit, and it’s a precious life.

JWhipple · 23/02/2025 08:12

You sound perfect for each other. It's nice you still enjoy banter together like this. A sign of affection. As I'm sure you are feeling grand this morning, and tending to your hungover spouse, maybe when he's feeling better, you could have a discussion about renewing your vows? Be a nice excuse for a get together as well.

Ritzybitzy · 23/02/2025 08:10

You’ve just come out of hospital and you both decide the first thing to do is go out out.

You're both toxic. Irresponsible at best. This was drunken nonsense. I suggest you both join AA.

NoWordForFluffy · 23/02/2025 08:10

Butchyrestingface · 23/02/2025 08:09

Someone said that upthread.

Her husband faceplanted on the pavement during last night's hijinks. Between them, they do seem to have quite an affinity for concrete.

Ahhh, I read all the OP's posts but skimmed the rest!

Kerbs loom large in both of their lives! 🤣

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