To think that not everyone spends 90% of their time worrying that people will die?

That’s very unhealthy and must be exhausting. He needs some support to deal with this level of intrusive thinking.

Bless him, at least you know now. He needs to get his anxiety seen to. It's not good for the body to have constant stress hormones running through it long term.

GP for him

That's not a normal pattern of thinking and needs support.

Objectively we all die. Hopefully most of the time in "the right order" e.g. old age, but that's not a given. Having had major, untimely bereavement at a young age it's best to crack on and enjoy what you can while you can.
Admittedly when a police car pulled up for 5-10 minutes outside the house a couple of months ago, that made me twitchy until it went away. Rational thought will consider mortality periodically but then file the thoughts away again for a while.
Ruminating on it most of the time is not healthy and ruins life.

Everyone will (at some time) die. So I refuse to spend ANY time worrying about the inevitable. It's a waste of effort!
Ensure you have plans in place for the inevitable (LPA, wills, etc)
Enjoy now!! And so should your DH.

Why? Needing therapy isn't a negative. CBT is really helpful for helping people change the way they think/feel about things

Is he bothered by it, does he want to change it, is it affecting other things - if yes, he could look at therapy (but no point going because of someone else).
Usually when we worry about other people, there's an 'I' part to the worry deep down - perhaps 'I will be alone/abandoned'?

Get him a GP appointment asap.
I spend less than 1% of my life worrying about dying, it's a fact, a given, going to happen to us all. I talked to my mum about being executor of her will and her wishes for her funeral.

Oh God. I had this from my babies being newborns until they were around 3 years old.

It was absolutely horrific and is one of the main reasons I won't have another. I was so frightened every single day.

It can be anxiety but it can also be OCD as intrusive thoughts. I still get them now, but I just try to ignore them as much as I can. When they were babies I would wake up in a panic every single time I slept, I would be so worried I'd wake up to a blue baby. I had breathing sensor mats too.

When we are out I have flashes of men walking last us and stabbing one of my DC or grabbing them and running away. I have to really ignore them.

Your poor DP. Ask him to go the GP. It's no way to live

Don't let him be fobbed off with antidepressants, he needs therapy for this

YANBU

If there is a story in the news, a tragedy or a child abduction, I occasionally try to imagine losing ds or one of my siblings, but the thought is too horrible to deal with so I shut it out and get on with life.

Worrying about something that is very unlikely to happen and over which I have no control, achieves nothing. I think most people do likewise.

@Sanch1 90٪ ? Seriously.
I've suffered trauma and know I dwell on death and on high dose of anxiety meds.
Therapy coming out of my ears.
Never 90% though. Clinical depression is what he has.
Seriously black.
Bless him and you. 💗

I do, constantly, but I am diagnosed with GAD and OCD. I’m medicated and attend regular therapy, but it’s something I have to actively work at all the time. It’s hard. Hoping your DH can get some professional support x

I'm the same as your husband,

I have adhd and ocd. I've had years of therapy and am medicated but it's never gone away.

It is hell to live with 😢

I have ADHD and at night I battle with the intrusive thoughts. I am fully aware it's not normal though. I try to keep it under control.

The only way it leaks out is if DD is going to do something risky or be away from me and I say, "what's rule number 1?" And she rolls her eyes and says, "don't die".

Whether his is ADHD, OCD, GAD or something else, it sounds like he can't see that it's not normal. 90% is a LOT.

When my cousin died it made me more anxious. People always talk about the future. For example, If someone says I'm going to keep this item for when my child turns 18. I just think what if they don't make it to 18. It's not a nice feeling at all. I know there's nothing we can do.

I didn't until my son almost died but now I do. I miss feeling naive, that it happens to other families and not your own.

The world is a lot scarier now.

He needs help. That's what my life was like 18 years ago and I spent most of my 20s and early 30s thinking someone or I will die. It became all consuming and I became totally paranoid and had ocd tendencies. I've been very well medicated the past 18 years and hardly think about it now.

I think most of us will possibly worry about if anything happens to children, our parents or ourselves. .. but 90% of the time is extreme. Has he had significant life events that could have caused this? It sounds like some MH intervention like counselling might be helpful.

Does he have adhd? It can cause dark thoughts like this. Or ocd.

I am probably the opposite in that I don't worry about anyone dying because deep down I assume they'll be alright. It's been quite startling to me when people close to me have, it turns out, been at risk of dying, and I can feel myself being unsure how to process it.

But I don't have a logical reason to worry that anyone close to me will die. They're all broadly healthy and compos mentis. No one lives an actively dangerous life. If anyone died it would be through a freak accident and I don't spend my time catastrophising about those possibilities.

Worrying about death for 90 percent of the time is not normal.

No.. I never do. When my anxiety is at its peak though I can spend 90% of my time worrying about throwing up or someone getting sick. It's a phobia/anxiety issue.. he realistically needs meds (like me)

My husband's mum died a little over two years ago and his dad died suddenly last summer. Since then, I have been more conscious of how precious life is and how relatively fleeting. I am mindful of my mum, who is much older and also aware of how I can't take the good health of my husband or my children for granted but I use that to be grateful rather than anxious. I wouldn't say it's 90%, just that I'm conscious of it much more often at the moment and choose to see it positively.

NINETY PERCENT of the time? That's really a lot. That must be very difficult for him, we probably all worry from time to time but that must be awful, and if he feels that might be normal thats very sad too

That's hard but yes unusual