To not forget a kids party

The siblings one is a real bugbear of mine. Several of my daughters friends have single mums, who check it's OK to bring a siblings, I of course would never say no, but I respect that they show me the courtesy of asking. And I can cater accordingly. These siblings are well behaved, let the younger ones go first with activities, food etc. But there are 2 mums who bring multiple siblings, with no warning, on the tenuous reason that their Dad wants to go to pub/football. 2 of them ate 10 cupcakes between them, taking bites out of others and putying them back on the plates, which meant there wasn't enough for the younger ones and there were tears, pushed over younger children on the bouncy castle (more tears.These will definitely not be invited again, their mum watched them and did nothing to stop their 9-12 year olds. I asked her politely if she could ask them to come off, response 'boys will be boys', so I asked them and she threw I strop that I was rude to her children.

It’s called being human.

We once forgot to message it was completely unintentional.
We all came down ill and I had basically slept the weekend away.

Parties are one of those I either expect people not to turn up. Or people to come who never got back to me.

I tend to do exclusive use of the soft play centre which is paid up front before hand. So no major issue just food on top on the day. Which is charged on who turns up.

That being said it catches me short like last year when 10 extras which included some siblings. No major issue with siblings I get it because i can sometimes have the issue of no childcare so I'll happily cover the extra food cost if you ask. It's no drama for me.

But when you only have party bags for 18 and 25 show up that's where i can get annoyed. That being said I can see how it can be annoying for those who have strict numbers for any particular reason.

Absolute crap. Get a calendar and fill it in. Not rocket science is it! Are parents that bloody lazy these days. It is very simple to reply, sorry no, I’m too bloody thick to keep up a calendar which takes seconds to complete and check.

If I was £64 down and no apology, damn right!

Then you also missed the point. 🤷‍♀️

Really? I think she grasped it perfectly.

It’s annoying but easily done. Especially parties around half term. A reminder is helpful.
im a really organised person but even i missed a party once, i wrote it down wrong on my calendar.

Because you forget! No sleep, out of hours GP’s poorly kids, poorly yourself. Have you never woken up after a night of multiple kids in your bed 2 hours sleep if you were lucky feeling rough as hell and not even sure how old you are anymore? People do forget in difficult circumstances! Tbh I think it’s a bit self important to think that people cannot possibly be going through anything that might make them forget about your DC party, yes it’s happened to me at every party we have thrown at least one of two havn’t turned up sometimes there’s an apology sometimes not or it arrives a few days later with an explanation. Yes it’s mildly frustrating but you get over it and accept it is all part of the deal.

You missed the point

oh no, my hearts just broken for that poor little boy and parents too, so awful

I think the poster was trying to make the op feel better..

Yes, I do understand that and agree, but it's hardly worth being so anxious about it you're worried about seeing those people again or it marring your memory of your child's birthday party, is it?!

I’m not taking offence, I’m having a bit of empathy, which it seems a lot of people on here can’t do. We aren’t all perfect as I said I forgot one party I messaged the moment I forgot which was that evening. We can’t get it right all of the time, a lot of you seem to be coming down like a ton of bricks on people who you have no idea about, you have no idea what they’re going through, and considering the rise in mental health crisis and the rise in people on here talking about their anxiety, their struggles to connect with others,etc then no, I’m not surprised. Good for you you don’t think it’s unreasonable to put something on the calendar and did theory it’s not unreasonable but for someone it can be a hard task and not saying that’s me but I can find understanding inside me to see that for someone THAT might be hard. I wouldn’t hold any grudges @Comeonicandoit these things happen sometimes.

I really don’t think it’s an unreasonable expectation that someone accepting an invitation should note down the details and then actually turn up on said date. It’s not particularly challenging.

You seem to be taking massive offence at the very idea that someone might expect you to remember that you’d committed to be somewhere.

Absolutely, life happens, emergencies happen. I once got my 2 daughters parties and venues mixed up and went to the wrong place and by time i realised my mistake was too late. But when you remember you message to say sorry and you give the birthday child their present. It's easy to tell who genuinely forgot as they are genuinely sorry and give a card/present. And those who just couldnt be arsed, look sheepish, avoid you and no present.

Of course it does! If they’d just declined in the first place, OP wouldn’t have booked their places and would never have spent the money. Okay, so she was always prepared to spend it - but that was because she was spending it for a reason rather than just spaffing it up the wall!

Maybe because there were other people that they would have invited but couldn't accommodate cost wise who have missed out. Maybe £64 in her pocket was very much needed. Yes she may have budgeted eg £200 but who wouldn't rather pay £140 if they could? That £64 I am sure could be wisely spent elsewhere.

It is just rude not to let people know you aren't coming.

To be fair if you aren't attending due to illness you would expect the parent to have manners enough to tell the inviting parent that this was the case!

I don't buy the 'forgetting because it's half term'. You have access to diaries/calendars and 99% of people surely sync those with their phones do that they get a reminder. Do better!

I do advocate sending a reminder in the guise of "double checking I haven't missed any allergies/you know where to park"

Some people have crises going on in their lives and some people are just flaky. That's why I always set text to ask if I don't have a rsvp in time and then set up a WhatsApp group for the party. The morning or the day before if it's a morning party I send out a message " See you all at Softplay at 4 pm, X is so excited".

Ugh. Hated those years of kids' parties. People either don't show up, dump & run when it's not appropriate or bring siblings & take the piss! Couldn't get past that stage quick enough. 😆

That's awful. The boy and his mum must have been so upset.

Yes, it's rude, but it's part and parcel of hosting a party, unfortunately.

You were prepared to cover the cost in the first place - it's a shame four places were wasted, but it hasn't affected the cost at all.

Focus on the fact you gave your child a great party Abd lots of their friends came, why put a downer on it over four no shows?