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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse DH a bottle of wine

164 replies

Fore · 22/02/2025 20:55

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

OP posts:
TheseCalmSeas · 22/02/2025 21:44

It doesn’t matter what it is, I’m assuming you own that bottle and therefore it’s up to you when it’s opened.

It does sound like he has a problem. Maybe not with alcohol but using it to fill a void at the weekends. This is based on him falling asleep btw.

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 21:43

@Fore So he's had 8 cans (last night?) and tonight, and before falling asleep was sulking with you because you wouldn't let him open a bottle of wine? Yeah, he has a drink problem and he's a charmless, disrespectful pillock. Does he have any redeeming qualities OP?

custardpyjamas · 22/02/2025 21:40

If he's fallen asleep he's clearly had enough, I would put the bottle out of sight out of temptation in case he wakes up and go to bed.

AirthatIbreathe · 22/02/2025 21:40

Fore · 22/02/2025 21:12

Also just to answer the question about replacing, it's a bit expensive for me. Though I accept I could display the empty bottle.

Doesn't look quite as nice I don't think? I display nice bottles too.I do think It's silly-especially because I'll sometimes have a house full of 'nice' bottles of wine and spirit and if I want a drink I'll go to the shop and buy myself a bottle of £6 plonk instead of drinking my 'naice' stuff!

Could you put some water and colouring in it?

Or some fairy lights (If that's your thing).

TheodoraCrumpet · 22/02/2025 21:38

For me it depends whether you have any plans to drink your wine. I have one of those men who thinks if you don't want it now, you don't want it at all, which is very frustrating. I want to wait until I fancy it. On the other hand, the notion of keeping drink for display purposes is utterly alien to me. As is taking little sips from a mini bottle of fizz.

BashfulClam · 22/02/2025 21:38

SP2024 · 22/02/2025 21:04

I can’t imagine only having one bottle
of wine in the house 🫣 If you just want the bottle for it to look nice I’m not sure why it needs to have wine inside. But equally he shouldn’t sulk about not having your own wine. Why can’t he go to the shop?

I don’t have any bottles 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t really drink tbf, last time was New Year, next time will possibly be May when I go on holiday.

Katemax82 · 22/02/2025 21:37

Beer then wine, you'll feel fine apparently

User1786 · 22/02/2025 21:35

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:29

Over 2 days? No it's not.

Show quote history

8 units of alcohol in a sitting is defined as a binge for a man so 4 cans of beer in one go probably constitutes a binge as most cans are 2 units

sprigatito · 22/02/2025 21:35

You're gate keeping and controlling his drinking, as though you were his mother rather than his wife. Whether that's because he's a problem drinker or because you are overbearing I don't know, but in either case it's not a healthy dynamic.

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:34

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/02/2025 21:31

Sounds fun round your gaff.

It's the rationed bubbly for me. A thimble full on Friday so I can have an eggcup full on Saturday ConfusedGrin I'm sorry OP but I have a vision of you making a quarter bottle of Prosecco last all weekend.

babyproblems · 22/02/2025 21:33

Sounds like there’s an alcohol problem in your house to me to be honest. We/I am not a drinker at all and the fact it’s causing arguments makes me think it’s an issue for you both (?). If it’s a habit that can’t be stopped without a lot of noise I would say it’s alcoholism tbh.

Wexone · 22/02/2025 21:33

really ? I have juts opened the last bottle of white wine in this house. pay day nit till 25th so can't afford any more 🤣really enjoying it now. wine is to be drunk and not be on display. unless it's red wine in this house 🤣 gladly swap 5 bottles of red for a nice bottle of chablis of anyone has one 😅

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/02/2025 21:31

Sounds fun round your gaff.

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:29

MrsKeats · 22/02/2025 21:22

6-8 cans of beer. That's binge drinking surely?

Over 2 days? No it's not.

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 21:29

So this is 8 cans of beer over two nights? If he brought them last night and has now drunk them all to be honest that is not too much. 🤷‍♀️ It’s a display bottle of wine. Let the guy drink it and either just one of you replaces it or display it empty.

GermanBite · 22/02/2025 21:27

I'm curious what the display bottle of wine is!

MrsKeats · 22/02/2025 21:22

6-8 cans of beer. That's binge drinking surely?

mewkins · 22/02/2025 21:18

Does he buy the booze he drinks or expect you to?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/02/2025 21:16

I really don’t see why you (OP) shouldn’t be allowed to say “this is my display bottle of wine” if you want to. Even if it’s irrational, so what?

He’s not entitled to something of yours just because he wants it.

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:15

Puddleclucks · 22/02/2025 21:03

I think it's fairly silly to have a bottle of wine for show. But in the flip side I imagine he's quite drunk after 8 cans so I'd have no time for him sitting swigging for the rest of the night, unless you enjoy the company of drunk people.

He's had 8 cans across the two nights as I understand it. Could have had 5 last night and 3 tonight thus fancies another drink. OP having wine for show is ridiculous. Would be different if it were a special bottle you were saving to drink on a particular occasion or one gifted to you.

JaneJeffer · 22/02/2025 21:13

Sell it to him

Original poster
Fore · 22/02/2025 21:12

Also just to answer the question about replacing, it's a bit expensive for me. Though I accept I could display the empty bottle.

OP posts:
User1786 · 22/02/2025 21:08

Of course he shouldn’t touch your wine. Sounds like he’s grumpy because he had drunk all his alcohol and will now drink anything. What a waste of a good bottle of wine and it’s also fuelling his alcoholism. If he’s grumpy because he can’t drink more after already having 8 cans over the last day, that is worrying

Coconutter24 · 22/02/2025 21:07

Doesn’t sound like you’ve any concern about his drinking just concern for the bottle so in that case I’d let my DH drink it and either replace it or just display the empty bottle.

Original poster
Fore · 22/02/2025 21:07

SP2024 · 22/02/2025 21:04

I can’t imagine only having one bottle
of wine in the house 🫣 If you just want the bottle for it to look nice I’m not sure why it needs to have wine inside. But equally he shouldn’t sulk about not having your own wine. Why can’t he go to the shop?

We're not big wine drinkers really. We have baileys, gin, rum etc but as these are more of the things I drink, and I don't drink a lot, we have plenty left.

OP posts: