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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse DH a bottle of wine

164 replies

Fore · 22/02/2025 20:55

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

OP posts:
YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 22/02/2025 22:39

It doesn't matter if you want to wear the bottle around your neck as a pendant...

It is yours. You paid for it. He has no right to it and you don't have to "just let him" because he wants it.

You are allowed to have things for yourself even if other people can't understand why you would like or want that certain thing.

He is a grown man who knows it's not wine for drinking so he purposely put you in an awkward position by asking and then making a fuss.

And after seeing your other comment it seems he has a disregard for your things and for replacing them so he doesn't deserve you to let him drink it anyway.

farmlife2 · 22/02/2025 22:36

hididdlyho · 22/02/2025 22:32

YANBU. If he wants to drink more, why can't he go to the shop to buy some? I'm more of a drinker than my DH, but I wouldn't think to help myself to his preferred booze if I'd drank my own.

If he's had a few cans, like he has, he shouldn't be driving to get some.

farmlife2 · 22/02/2025 22:35

I don't think there's anything wrong with you having a bottle of wine as a collectible that you just like the look of. Opening it would spoil the look.

Maybe keep better stocks of allowable wine in the house, or consider if his sulking over not being able to get into the wine suggests a possible bigger issue with alcohol?

Literallynoonecares · 22/02/2025 22:34

Didimum · 22/02/2025 22:32

Yes, it is binge drinking. He’s consuming more than his recommended weekly units over 1-2 nights. And then attempting to source more. Absolutely binge drinking. Absolutely a problem with alcohol. I’m not sure why you seem in denial with that.

Show quote history

Fucking hell. 8 cans of lager over two nights is an alcohol problem 😂FFS i'm deeply in trouble then.

Didimum · 22/02/2025 22:34

AquaPeer · 22/02/2025 22:14

BINGE DRINKING?!?? CALL THE POLICE!!!!

😂😂😂

I agree with those saying it’s a weird thing to be controlling over

Show quote history

Not sure why anyone should accept a partner who binge drinks to excess every weekend, but ok then.

hididdlyho · 22/02/2025 22:32

YANBU. If he wants to drink more, why can't he go to the shop to buy some? I'm more of a drinker than my DH, but I wouldn't think to help myself to his preferred booze if I'd drank my own.

Didimum · 22/02/2025 22:32

Fore · 22/02/2025 21:50

Sorry to clarify, he bought 8 cans last night. I think he had 5 last night and by 6pm tonight he'd had another 3. It maybe sounded wrong when I said he'd had 8 by 6pm, I just meant since he bought them last night. It's not binge drinking but this seems quite a lot to me every week.

Edited

Yes, it is binge drinking. He’s consuming more than his recommended weekly units over 1-2 nights. And then attempting to source more. Absolutely binge drinking. Absolutely a problem with alcohol. I’m not sure why you seem in denial with that.

SpoonyEagle · 22/02/2025 22:26

Fore · 22/02/2025 21:12

Also just to answer the question about replacing, it's a bit expensive for me. Though I accept I could display the empty bottle.

If its a pretty bottle by opening it, it will spoil the look of it especially if it's a cork

AquaPeer · 22/02/2025 22:14

MrsKeats · 22/02/2025 21:22

6-8 cans of beer. That's binge drinking surely?

BINGE DRINKING?!?? CALL THE POLICE!!!!

😂😂😂

I agree with those saying it’s a weird thing to be controlling over

PuppyMonkey · 22/02/2025 22:14

I’m a bit squiffy so haven’t read the thread properly but FFS just somebody drink the wine and move on.

JaneJeffer · 22/02/2025 22:10

That's terrible @Shetlands you should have a candle in it

Shetlands · 22/02/2025 22:09

GermanBite · 22/02/2025 21:27

I'm curious what the display bottle of wine is!

This one?

To refuse DH a bottle of wine
ColdQueryUnsure · 22/02/2025 22:03

Don’t let him have it, mine has drunk a bottle to himself, has gone to bed in a huff, ( conveniently, over nothing) and could be messaging a woman or watching porn.

Neither of which I am happy about, but won’t be able to verify..

I just suspect

Also mine would never replace the item, he never replaces anything, even when promised. after breaking something,

VeryStressedMum · 22/02/2025 22:03

Is it the money to replace it? If he drinks it and doesn't replace it then you'd have to spend more of your own money to replace it?

I'm not sure as if someone eats or drinks something in my house ones of us buys it again because we share the money so it's not an issue.
Ask him for the money then you're not waiting for him to replace it. Get him to bank transfer it.

The only other reason to not 'allow' my husband wine is if he had a drink problem.

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 22:00

Fore · 22/02/2025 21:50

Sorry to clarify, he bought 8 cans last night. I think he had 5 last night and by 6pm tonight he'd had another 3. It maybe sounded wrong when I said he'd had 8 by 6pm, I just meant since he bought them last night. It's not binge drinking but this seems quite a lot to me every week.

Edited

It is a lot OP - a can of beer contains 2 units on average (sometimes less, sometimes more depending on alcohol % and size of can) so he's drinking at least 16 units per week. The NHS recommends men and women not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis and the fact that he's choosing to drink them over two nights, rather than spread them out of the week, is absolutely binge-drinking. I think you need to do some research OP so you understand what you're dealing with.

Givemestrength1000 · 22/02/2025 21:57

Crikey. This sounds like a very uptight household. Perhaps you should both open the bottle, have a drink and chill out!

Tumblingthrough · 22/02/2025 21:57

Give him a break OP

50Balesofgrey · 22/02/2025 21:55

If I was your DH I'd make a display of beer cans on the cabinet to compliment your not for drinking wine bottle

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 21:55

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:49

@AngelicKaty I took it that they'd both had a drink last night and he's then finished the rest of his 8 cans this afternoon / early evening.

Yes, sorry, I misunderstood OP's original post and her clarification is in line with your understanding. 😊

NormasArse · 22/02/2025 21:54

If the display bottle has been there a long time, you may find it’s not very nice. Sometimes the corks shrink a bit naturally. That certainly happens with champagne if you don’t store it on its side (found this out the hard way with three bottles!!).

KerryBlues · 22/02/2025 21:54

Can we see the wine bottle? <missing the point>

Wexone · 22/02/2025 21:53

not really

Original poster
Fore · 22/02/2025 21:50

Sorry to clarify, he bought 8 cans last night. I think he had 5 last night and by 6pm tonight he'd had another 3. It maybe sounded wrong when I said he'd had 8 by 6pm, I just meant since he bought them last night. It's not binge drinking but this seems quite a lot to me every week.

OP posts:
TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:49

@AngelicKaty I took it that they'd both had a drink last night and he's then finished the rest of his 8 cans this afternoon / early evening.

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 21:47

TheVeryAudacity · 22/02/2025 21:29

Over 2 days? No it's not.

Show quote history

OP wrote in her first post: "By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans." That's definitely binge-drinking.