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AIBU?

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Original poster

To refuse DH a bottle of wine

164 replies

Fore · 22/02/2025 20:55

My DH bought 8 cans of beer and a small bottle of bubbly last night. I've rationed the bubbly so I had some last night and whatever I feel like tonight. By 6pm tonight, DH had drank all his 8 cans. There's a bottle of wine I bought a few months back to keep on our cocktail cabinet as I love the bottle. He hinted he'd like some but then muttered 'hm the bottle that I can't have'. I then heard him say, 'i'm going to have some'. I asked him if he would please not. He has now been sulking with me all evening. AIBU?

OP posts:
Longma · 23/02/2025 00:46

but I'd love to be a fly on the wall if they told their GP what they genuinely drink a week - I don't think their GP would find it so hilarious

All the medical doctors I know drink plenty themselves so I bit think they'd be overly surprised about a bloke drinking a few cans over the space of a weekend.

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 00:46

Ohfgswhat · 23/02/2025 00:44

That's a relief. More Cider and Wine for others.

Show quote history

Oh no, I love wine - just prefer to drink it in moderation.

KerryBlues · 23/02/2025 00:46

user1471516498 · 23/02/2025 00:30

I believe 2 pints of normal strength beer is technically classed as binge drinking. In the US, people are in AA for that much.

Wtf?!

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 00:45

PiggieWig · 23/02/2025 00:34

So he's had 19 units in a week? Considering the guidelines for men are 21 in a week, I doubt the doctor would bat an eyelid.

Sure, week in week out going totally mental isn't great, but another glass of wine or two?
Unless he's a nasty drunk, I'd cut him some slack and share it with him.

I wonder if there are other relationship issues at play, which make this feel like some kind of disrespect.

You're out of touch - the guidelines are 14 units pw for both men and women. From the NHS website:

To keep health risks from alcohol to a low level if you drink most weeks:

  • men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 units a week on a regular basis
  • spread your drinking over 3 or more days if you regularly drink as much as 14 units a week
  • if you want to cut down, try to have several drink-free days each week
14 units is equivalent to 6 pints of average-strength beer or 10 small glasses of lower-strength wine.
Ohfgswhat · 23/02/2025 00:44

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 00:42

@Ohfgswhat Sorry, I'm not a cider drinker.

That's a relief. More Cider and Wine for others.

AngelicKaty · 23/02/2025 00:42

@Ohfgswhat Sorry, I'm not a cider drinker.

murasaki · 23/02/2025 00:39

I'm struggling to understand buying a bottle of wine because it has a pretty label rather than because it is a nice wine.

Ohfgswhat · 23/02/2025 00:37

AngelicKaty · 22/02/2025 23:42

Plenty of people buy very expensive wine with no intention of drinking it - as a brewer (vintner?) surely you would know that?

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I don't brew Art, there are plenty of people who do that. I like people to enjoy the taste and come an assist if they wish. There's no business for me, selling one bottle of wine to sit on a shelf for ten years. Repeat UK custom, is the enjoyment for all. I brew real Cider too, hundreds of gallons. A lot is given away, as it's a social thing. I have no desire to see someone not being able to afford a decent, organic tipple. It's not expensive to produce once you're set up. I'd rather see people happy and not settle for artificial tasting rubbish. If you want to come and see my set up, just ask! Beware thou' piss takers don't usually get past the gate!

PiggieWig · 23/02/2025 00:34

So he's had 19 units in a week? Considering the guidelines for men are 21 in a week, I doubt the doctor would bat an eyelid.

Sure, week in week out going totally mental isn't great, but another glass of wine or two?
Unless he's a nasty drunk, I'd cut him some slack and share it with him.

I wonder if there are other relationship issues at play, which make this feel like some kind of disrespect.

user1471516498 · 23/02/2025 00:30

I believe 2 pints of normal strength beer is technically classed as binge drinking. In the US, people are in AA for that much.

HeyDoodie · 23/02/2025 00:26

Surely he’s had enough today, 8 cans over two days is quite a lot.

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 23/02/2025 00:20

Is it a bottle of Dom Perignon?

Oblomov25 · 23/02/2025 00:19

After 3 cans you wouldn't let him have an old, probably oxidised wine? 🍷 you sound miserable!

User1786 · 23/02/2025 00:19

KerryBlues · 23/02/2025 00:10

Less than four pints constitutes a binge session??
It's nowhere near a gallon, it's not even half.

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Yes it is a binge! Approximately 10 units, maybe more in one go. The weekly recommended maximum is 14 units. I’m shocked that you think it is not a lot

MotherJessAndKittens · 23/02/2025 00:16

If he wants to open it fine as long as he replaces it. Wine goes off eventually and that would be a waste. Have to say we buy the wine we like to drink not because of the bottle and it’s in the garage not displayed but some bottles are pretty nice to look at.

MumWifeOther · 23/02/2025 00:15

No one needs to have a bottle of wine after 6-8 cans of beer, just sat in their house… madness.

beencaughttrollin · 23/02/2025 00:12

If it's easily replaceable, I'd quote him the cost and get him to confirm in writing that he'll replace it. For effect, I might make him sign his name in blood.

XiCi · 23/02/2025 00:12

So your DH had drunk 3 cans tonight and fancied a glass of wine and you wouldn't let him open one? Jesus Christ, I can't imagine being in a relationship like that.

MumGuilt101 · 23/02/2025 00:10

duc748 · 23/02/2025 00:08

I don't normally comment on threads like this, but I will here, FWIW. I'm a man, and I like a beer (I make my own, in fact). So I'm not as strict on alcohol as many MN posters. But I think, if you're falling asleep on the settee, than you're drinking too much. You need to be waking up the next morning feeling just fine. If you don't, you have a problem.

What nonsense is this. I can easily fall asleep on the couch with no alcohol. And a hangover once in a while does not an alcoholic make.

KerryBlues · 23/02/2025 00:10

User1786 · 23/02/2025 00:07

Average can of beer is 440 unless it’s here craft types so 3.9 pints. Whilst not quite a gallon it more than meets the nhs description of a binge.

Edited
Show quote history

Less than four pints constitutes a binge session??
It's nowhere near a gallon, it's not even half.

Littlemisscapable · 23/02/2025 00:10

SP2024 · 22/02/2025 21:04

I can’t imagine only having one bottle
of wine in the house 🫣 If you just want the bottle for it to look nice I’m not sure why it needs to have wine inside. But equally he shouldn’t sulk about not having your own wine. Why can’t he go to the shop?

This !

LittleMonks11 · 23/02/2025 00:09

The ornament bottle of wine isn't the problem.

duc748 · 23/02/2025 00:08

I don't normally comment on threads like this, but I will here, FWIW. I'm a man, and I like a beer (I make my own, in fact). So I'm not as strict on alcohol as many MN posters. But I think, if you're falling asleep on the settee, than you're drinking too much. You need to be waking up the next morning feeling just fine. If you don't, you have a problem.

StormyPotatoes · 23/02/2025 00:08

Whether the DH is binge drinking or not is irrelevant to the point. The bottle of wine is one OP bought for herself. It doesn’t matter if she’s keeping it for the decoration and storing for best in case the King visits. It’s her bottle to do with as she chooses. It would be like not using a candle or a fancy looking bottle of oil and keeping it for decoration only. It’s fine, you don’t have to ‘get it’ but it’s OP’s to use as she pleases.

If DH wants wine and there’s none in the house, he can walk to the shop to get some.

User1786 · 23/02/2025 00:07

Squidgemoon · 22/02/2025 23:42

An average can of beer is 330ml isn’t it? Half a pint? So five cans is about 2.5 pints, 3 if he’s on the larger cans … hardly excessive. Some of the puritans on here!!

Average can of beer is 440 unless it’s here craft types so 3.9 pints. Whilst not quite a gallon it more than meets the nhs description of a binge.