To think people need to read the room more.

Step back a bit if it's getting you down, but to be honest, I'd view it as a sign that you have different levels of resistance to difficult times. There is many reasons this could be, but one is that you simply find yourselves in the position you are in. You deal with what you are given.

She needs to vent to function at the level of difficulty she is facing at the moment. If you were in what was generally considered a "favourable situation" this may bother you less, but if you are close she probably feels safe to moan around you, whatever your circumstance .

One of my good friends is undergoing chemio and has all sorts of medical issues.
While I would never monopolise the conversation with my worries, I still talk to her about my day to day things, that are obviously less significant, but she's still my friend and is happy to chat about my life too.

YANBU she sounds horrendous and very thoughtless.

I think you can say thingsto her which ight give her pause for thought while sstill being supportive. "Yeah, it is hard, whether we get maintenance from the dador not, it's hard." "Holiday? Would you really want to leave child for a week? I'd hate it but I can't do it anyway!" "Ues, it WOULD be nice tohave a night off once a week.I'd miss it if I was used tohavong it. Mind you, I'm broke so couldn't afford to go out; it would make a difference if only ex gave me a little money..." And so on.

Still being supportive, reminding her thatnot everyone gets what she does.

Everything is relative though.

I had a cousin like this. We both bought our first house at about the same time. I bought mine via a mortgage, entirely on my own and was excited at the prospect of having my own home. It was hard financially for the first few years so I had to furnish it with second hand/refurbished stuff. I accepted this as a short term situation knowing that I would buy new at a later date. My cousin didn't have a mortgage as her parents bought her house for cash and she paid them back interest free. They also furnished it for her with everything brand new. My cousin moaned endlessly about how "stressful" the whole process was which left me baffled. She's always had a good relationship with her parents who have always been supportive of her. But she's never really appreciated just how lucky she has been relative to others.

Is it a lack of empathy for your situation, do you think?

I think there are a lot of people like this, people just want to use you to moan at without thinking about your life.
i had a friend who constantly moaned about lack of support and how she couldn’t get away without her children (I think this was a hint for me to take them).
however her and husband went out quite a lot and had been away numerous times alone because she had a single friend she dumped them on.
i also had no support and DH and i have never been away alone. She wanted constant sympathy about it though.

YANBU.

I have a friend like this and it drives me a bit insane, but over the years I've come to treat it with a lot of sympathy because I think it actually comes from a place of real disappointment in her own life. It doesn't make it right to be so unable to read a room, but it does make it more tolerable!

She sounds spoiled and entitled. I don't think you're being unreasonable and I don't think I'd be able to cope having to listen to her pity party when she is obviously very lucky in many ways.
I think I'd have snapped by now.
I'd be a lot less available to her nonsense. Especially the catastrophising, calling you at ridiculous times for no reason 🙄Wtf

She sounds too self absorbed to read the room. Some people just have no insight. I would mention to her that you also have problems and much less support, maybe even go as far as saying she's actually quite lucky. I doubt it will have any impact, but worth a shot. It does sound like maybe she has some mental health issues?
I'm a single parent too. My biggest bugbear is when other Mothers liken themselves to single parents because their other half is useless, or works a lot. It's really just not the same.

@Inbedwithted

OP it sounds horrendous.

Do you think she has MH issues because some of what she’s saying is a very extreme reaction to everyday occurrences that happen to most people (money late/change in plans).

This is not to excuse her, by the way.

What do you think her response would be if you gently raised this with her? If you think she would be offended and drop you as a friend, that might not be such a bad thing! But if she needs to get help and you can help her to do that, it would be better (hopefully) for both of you.

Yeah i think you just need to tell her this, she's probably super unaware

YANBU

I think you need to shut her up by saying when she moans "I feel exhausted too. I work five days and have no family help and DC dad is nowhere to be seen. Parenting is hard " Maybe she'll get it's not just her.

Venting on here isn’t going to get you anywhere, though. Tell her you can’t listen to it. If you’re properly friends, you can get past this.

Yanbu

It's just me and dd and has been for almost 5 years. I'm okay with it tbh. A bit tired (half term week 😭) but okay.

If someone started whinging about not having a weekend off, it would be weird that they didn't consider my circumstances before moaning though 😭

With comparing the other stuff, like houses, you don't come off so well, op, but i think you're just trying to say that she should be more mindful rather than being jealous ❤️

Some people take things harder than other, it's annoying when you're the type of person who keeps struggles to themselves and makes the best of it and focuses on the positive, and someone else is doing the opposite while you quietly seethe! But the solution is either more or less communication. Either you reduce contact, or you start to communicate your side more. Not in a competitive way, in a way that says what you need to share.

It’s not that you are being unreasonable you are just venting how you feel which is fine especially if you can’t say it to friends. I don’t know why some people on here get nasty about stuff we are all allowed to feel how we feel and can vent if necessary this is why it’s anonymous sometimes there is no right or wrong but she is making a drama out of stuff that feels ridiculous to you no one can stop that but I would maybe less available especially late at night I bet she would not be as supportive to you. Look after number one you like she does. You don’t have to lose your friendship with her but let her tackle her problems herself and mute your phone now and again if she asks why your not available to her just say you know how busy it is being a single mum I’ve only got one pair of hands and no other support.

I totally understand how you feel.
I have noticed that just because you do not mention your problems, people assume you have none and moan about their predicament whenever they can. It is so draining. And selfish.
Tell her how you feel and/or distance yourself from her.

I think YABU. The barest few things you have mentioned don’t automatically make her life so much better than yours. And even if her life is better than yours in every way, so what? That’s how it is between every friendship ever. One friend is always better off than the other. Friends are able to empathise with friends having struggles and not be thinking in the back of their minds how dare she whinge when she has it so good.

Why are you still friends? She sounds very annoying.

Some people like fb posting a lot. If she is an ok friend except for her fb updates then just sunflower and mute