Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Functional Birthday Present

158 replies

RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 19:19

Wanting to hear opinions on this birthday present

My girlfriend is 39 weeks pregnant, its her birthday this week & she's due the week after. For a while she's mentioned about getting either a coffee machine or a kettle for our bedroom. Everytime we go to a hotel, we say we should get one for our room.

Anyhow, a few days back I saw an Ad for a Russell Hobbs 'Calm' Kettle. Its a 'quiet boil' kettle that places soothing, meditation like sounds while its boiling. Video linked here Hadn't seen anything like this before and thought it was quite unique.

Also Thought it would be perfect for making cups of tea in the night/Morning, while soothing the baby with the noises instead of waking it up with the noises of a kettle & we could use for sterilising if we needed too.

Along side the kettle, I got some nice mugs from Dunelm, some little spoons & a matching tray & matching bowl for used teabags. Teabags, Coffee Sachets & Milk Sachets.
Essentially made up a little area like a hotel in our bedroom
Spent £150 in total

It arrived today so set it up & said she can have her birthday present early. But she was abit disappointed. She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
By 'House Purchase' she means just a standard thing we should just buy for the house.

To add some more context on our situation... We have alot of disposible income each month & pretty much buy whatever we want/need so we're hard to buy presents for.
We're also pretty much sorted for the baby so don't need anything there. Our parents gave us money for Christmas which we've just banked for the baby.

AIBU - Crap Present, It should be a standard buy
AINBU - Good Present

OP posts:
Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:28

crockofshite · 22/02/2025 22:25

Is your house so huuuuuge that it's an inconvenience to walk to the kitchen to make a hot drink?

Nope not at all. We have quiet a small house, standard semi detached.

But our bedrooms on the 3rd floor, so kettle in the bedroom could be handy for a new mum to save her going up and down the stairs for her morning cuppa

OP posts:
Lalaland67 · 22/02/2025 22:26

RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:21

My (our) opinion on travel is that it's no different to being at home. You just have less stuff with you at any given time. But anything you need or have at home, you can get in any location.

So its only the airport & Flight thats the difference.
Obviously our opinon may change once the baby arrives

In September we saw a couple in Albania with a 3 month old & we both said we want that to be us.
I get 2 months off on paternity plus holidays (I have half of last years plus this years) so plenty of time to be away during that first year. I can also 'work from anywhere' so can do extended trips where I work in the middle.
For example. I could do 1 week off, 1 week work, 1 week off, 1 week work. We'd be away for a month but only take 2 weeks AL/Paternity

Obviously this may change once the baby arrives but thats my thinking at the minute

Show quote history

Honestly I would hold off flights to Thailand until your baby is born. It’s not ‘the same as being at home’ when you have a baby. There’s a whole other person to consider, who has loads of stuff. Your partner might feel different about travelling abroad with her baby too. I’m much more nervous about travel now that I have a baby, before I would have gone anywhere.

crockofshite · 22/02/2025 22:25

Is your house so huuuuuge that it's an inconvenience to walk to the kitchen to make a hot drink?

FriendsDrinkBook · 22/02/2025 22:24

@TY78910 the difference is that you asked for a coffee machine as a gift. It sounds like the op's partner was saying that they should set up a tea making area in their room , this doesn't explicitly mean that she wants one as a gift. It's the kind of thing you might sit together with your laptop and order.

Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:22

TY78910 · 22/02/2025 22:19

Yes! And there's a story behind it with the hotel etc. I'd be chuffed too!

I've asked for a coffee machine as a gift before, I've asked for straighteners etc. I do think it's a little ungrateful tbh to tell someone you're disappointed about a gift too. It's not like you bought her some pans and said it's so 'you can cook me dinner'.

She sounds spoilt!

Show quote history

We are probably both guilty of being abit spoilt to be honest 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:21

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 22/02/2025 22:09

Babies and travelling… I think you are either naive or very brave.

Show quote history

My (our) opinion on travel is that it's no different to being at home. You just have less stuff with you at any given time. But anything you need or have at home, you can get in any location.

So its only the airport & Flight thats the difference.
Obviously our opinon may change once the baby arrives

In September we saw a couple in Albania with a 3 month old & we both said we want that to be us.
I get 2 months off on paternity plus holidays (I have half of last years plus this years) so plenty of time to be away during that first year. I can also 'work from anywhere' so can do extended trips where I work in the middle.
For example. I could do 1 week off, 1 week work, 1 week off, 1 week work. We'd be away for a month but only take 2 weeks AL/Paternity

Obviously this may change once the baby arrives but thats my thinking at the minute

OP posts:
TY78910 · 22/02/2025 22:21

titchy · 22/02/2025 19:32

Mate, she's about to have your baby and you bought her a kettle?!!!! Next time - diamond earrings eh.

It's not a push present!!

TY78910 · 22/02/2025 22:19

Grenadescganades · 22/02/2025 19:26

I would love this as an a tea o holic .

would be upset with a hoover or mop as very much ‘household appliance’

but my own in bed tea station - would be chuffed to bits with !

Yes! And there's a story behind it with the hotel etc. I'd be chuffed too!

I've asked for a coffee machine as a gift before, I've asked for straighteners etc. I do think it's a little ungrateful tbh to tell someone you're disappointed about a gift too. It's not like you bought her some pans and said it's so 'you can cook me dinner'.

She sounds spoilt!

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 22/02/2025 22:09

RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 19:44

Haha She wouldnt be interested in earrings.

I'm probably gonna just book a trip for later in the year. Just seen some good flights for thailand for November

Show quote history

Babies and travelling… I think you are either naive or very brave.

FriendsDrinkBook · 22/02/2025 22:09

I can see that you've addressed it now op , and that's great. I do agree with most pps on this , if it's for the house then it's not a birthday gift for her.

On my 35th birthday I got incredibly practical household gifts from everyone and I was very upset , I was finding hitting my mid 30s tough enough then I received an air purifier and a set of mugs as a 'treat'. It didn't go down well at all!

Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:08

Gravytanned · 22/02/2025 22:01

I've just read on and need to add I would be fuming about getting baby stuff for my birthday. I think Christmas is a bit different but a birthday is just about that person. Not their partner, not their baby, them.

Especially as a parent, that's the day it gets to be all about you and she deserves that!

Yeah! Hoping the baby doesn't appear on her birthday, then she'll never get one again 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 22:07

UnderHisEeyore · 22/02/2025 21:57

Everything you post could have been posted by any man ever.
Thoughtless gift - check
Unaware of trials of postpartum - check
Booking things in one of the toughest periods of a woman's life - check
Not liking things as presents because they don't benefit you - check

I'm going to go out on a limb and bet you don't like any form of fun for your own birthdays, become the Grinch at Christmas and don't understand (or even ask) a lot about your partner's inner world; as is evidenced from not knowing what she really likes for herself or what would be a treat.

Men seem so so bland at times.

Haha! I did put abit of thought into the present. Maybe a bog standard kettle, you could class as no thought.

But its not everyday you see a kettle that plays meditation sounds 😂

Other than my nan's birthday, which I can't help when that is. I've not booked anything with fixed dates. She's the one who's suggested to go Australia to see her auntie we used to live with

OP posts:
Gravytanned · 22/02/2025 22:01

I've just read on and need to add I would be fuming about getting baby stuff for my birthday. I think Christmas is a bit different but a birthday is just about that person. Not their partner, not their baby, them.

Especially as a parent, that's the day it gets to be all about you and she deserves that!

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 22/02/2025 22:00

I’d love this as a present!

Foxlovesfruit · 22/02/2025 22:00

RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 19:19

Wanting to hear opinions on this birthday present

My girlfriend is 39 weeks pregnant, its her birthday this week & she's due the week after. For a while she's mentioned about getting either a coffee machine or a kettle for our bedroom. Everytime we go to a hotel, we say we should get one for our room.

Anyhow, a few days back I saw an Ad for a Russell Hobbs 'Calm' Kettle. Its a 'quiet boil' kettle that places soothing, meditation like sounds while its boiling. Video linked here Hadn't seen anything like this before and thought it was quite unique.

Also Thought it would be perfect for making cups of tea in the night/Morning, while soothing the baby with the noises instead of waking it up with the noises of a kettle & we could use for sterilising if we needed too.

Along side the kettle, I got some nice mugs from Dunelm, some little spoons & a matching tray & matching bowl for used teabags. Teabags, Coffee Sachets & Milk Sachets.
Essentially made up a little area like a hotel in our bedroom
Spent £150 in total

It arrived today so set it up & said she can have her birthday present early. But she was abit disappointed. She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
By 'House Purchase' she means just a standard thing we should just buy for the house.

To add some more context on our situation... We have alot of disposible income each month & pretty much buy whatever we want/need so we're hard to buy presents for.
We're also pretty much sorted for the baby so don't need anything there. Our parents gave us money for Christmas which we've just banked for the baby.

AIBU - Crap Present, It should be a standard buy
AINBU - Good Present

Sounds like you put loads of thought into putting this gift together and you knew it was something she wanted. On thar basis, i would love it as a gift from my husband.

Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 21:58

MumChp · 22/02/2025 21:54

How does you wife feel?

Show quote history

Yeah the same (when recieving them). She used to like them but her dad got her flowers for something. (Either last birthday or maybe after she told them about her pregnancy) & she binned them after a couple of days (They were lillys so do smell)

Though, She does buy them for her nan every birthday and mothers day

OP posts:
UnderHisEeyore · 22/02/2025 21:57

Everything you post could have been posted by any man ever.
Thoughtless gift - check
Unaware of trials of postpartum - check
Booking things in one of the toughest periods of a woman's life - check
Not liking things as presents because they don't benefit you - check

I'm going to go out on a limb and bet you don't like any form of fun for your own birthdays, become the Grinch at Christmas and don't understand (or even ask) a lot about your partner's inner world; as is evidenced from not knowing what she really likes for herself or what would be a treat.

Men seem so so bland at times.

CoastalCalm · 22/02/2025 21:57

I got a carpet cleaner for my birthday once but I had asked for it , I think it’s a bit unreasonable

Gravytanned · 22/02/2025 21:57

I think it's thoughtful but I'd be disappointed.
I think being heavily pregnant too means that it's all going to be about the baby for a while so I'd want to feel like I was really being treated.

If spending that much on a drinks set up for the bedroom could easily be swallowed into the house budget then I wouldn't want it as a birthday gift.

I really wanted an air fryer (more than him but it benefitted both of us) and we bought one. I wouldn't have wanted it for my birthday.

Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 21:55

Ap42 · 22/02/2025 21:39

It's thoughtful, but quite dull. And those mugs remind me of the beakers you get for the bathroom to rinse your mouth after brushing your teeth. But to each there own.
I would get her something that just focuses on her, something sentimental maybe? A little gift from the bump? A shopping spree, vouchers for new clothes, a date night activity?

Haha! I do think they look nicer in person that photo. But I do get what you're saying..
Cant find the right colour as they say every one is unique on the stickers. But here's the Dunelm Link for a similar one: https://www.dunelm.com/product/bulb-reactive-mug-1000241862?defaultSkuId=30890849

Yeah I'll get thinking of something. The post is helping with inspo to be honest which is good

OP posts:
MumChp · 22/02/2025 21:54

RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 21:51

Maybe controversial but I'm quite against flowers. I don't see the point in spending £50 in something that dies in 2 weeks & you can do nothing with them

Show quote history

How does you wife feel?

Original poster
RandomUser456878 · 22/02/2025 21:51

northwestgirl · 22/02/2025 21:37

I think it sounds thoughtful although mugs from dunelm would not seem like a treat to me
I would buy her the hugest bunch of flowers you can find NOW and then something more personal as an actual birthday present- that is not baby/motherhood related
and forget all the travel plans

Maybe controversial but I'm quite against flowers. I don't see the point in spending £50 in something that dies in 2 weeks & you can do nothing with them

OP posts:
OrangeCushioning · 22/02/2025 21:48

I’d be fine with this but I was also fine when I received a cutlery set for my birthday from DH, so maybe not representative. She’s not fine so in the circs I’d say sorry, you hadn’t meant it that way and get her something just for her.

KerryBlues · 22/02/2025 21:46

She thinks its a 'house purchase' and shouldn't be a birthday present.
She's absolutely right.

riverislandjeans · 22/02/2025 21:45

Just googled it and now I want one....