Functional Birthday Present

I agree with your wife that the kettle is more of an essential in your particular living situation than a lovely treat. Bear in mind she is about to birth and breastfeed your baby so the least you could do is provide a convenient means of making a cuppa!

How about a silk sleep mask with inbuilt headphones do she can listen to a podcast at the hospital without disturbing anyone else on the ward... (musicozy on Amazon are excellent)

Or a lovely pre-baby trip to the theatre or similar date night that may not be an option for a while after the birth?

I would have cried. That's a house purchase not a birthday present. Seriously?

It’s stressful just eating in a restaurant with my 10 month old. He just wants to get out of the highchair and crawl, but he’s too little to understand why he can’t. I can’t imagine taking him on a long haul flight unless I had to!

Travelling when he was a newborn was easy, we drove 4 hours to visit family when he was a few weeks old and took him on holiday a few times.

Yes I agree with the flights with a mobile baby completely!

My (our) opinion on travel is that it's no different to being at home. You just have less stuff with you at any given time. But anything you need or have at home, you can get in any location

It’s not just about having stuff. The location matters too. Lots of places aren’t baby and toddler proof. For travelling, sometimes you have to remain seated in a plane but your baby wants to crawl on the aisle and doesn’t understand why you won’t let them.

I would have adored this as a present.

Travelling with a newborn is easy in my experience, travelling short haul above that is fine (again just my experience) but long haul with a mobile baby who isn’t old enough to be distracted for any great length of time and doesn’t understand was awful, and I felt terrible as clearly she didn’t enjoy it either and was so out of sorts the whole time 😥 short haul though is perfectly manageable.

I think a few posters including were just pointing out that exploring Thailand with a mobile baby, and then exploring New Zealand / Aus with a not yet 2 year old might not be particularly enjoyable for anyone!

There's a lot of scare mongering on here about travelling with a baby. Yes it takes more thought, but is easily achievable. We travelled 7 hours to Scotland when ours was 8 weeks old, after having already done multiple day trips up to 3 hours away. Done several (admittedly short haul) flights with our eldest since they were a baby too.

The one thing I would consider for that trip to Wales, is if baby is 2 weeks late and then she needs a c section, there is no way she's sitting in the car for an hour and a half and then socialising.

I wouldn't book things (you said you haven't) just because of the timeline, not because you can't do it. I would be preparing to miss the 80th birthday though, depending on how the birth goes.

the only people I have ever heard say they don't like flowers are those who say they'd prefer eg a particular perennial for the garden etc
buy the flowers, just don't get lilies

Won’t you benefit from that too though?!

Id get her a massage and haircut for when the baby is old enough for her to have a break

I thought it was quite a nice thoughtful present. Maybe she didn't realise the planning and thought that went into it. Or maybe it's just a no for all "house presents" in future.

It's hard though trying to think of something if you can and do buy stuff you want without needing to wait. When we were not as comfortably off as we are now we would have a wish list for birthdays and Christmas. These days we struggle to think of anything because if there is something we want we just get it there and then. First world problems eh? 😂

YABU- I think it’s something that will benefit you both so it should have just been bought for the house. Especially if money is no issue.

id have got her something personal to treat her esp being preg as likelihood is once baby is here she won’t have much time to pamper herself. Or just have time or herself.
and I would have just set the kettle up as something nice to do.

Pretty much the same as my christmas present from DP. I absolutely love my bedroom tea station more than anything, best present I've ever had. But it's different strokes for different folks, I don't like Pretty things really, I'd be disappointed with a handbag or a necklace.

I don't personally really like holidays for presents, it feels a little lazy and abit "we'd go there anyway." But then my ex once "gifted" me a holiday then had me book it on my birthday. Also gifted me holidays with him after we'd split sharing a bed, so maybe that colours my view now.

Ps I don’t think the present was bad, but I don’t mind functional presents! Lesson learned that your partner does not!

I really think it depends on individuals. There are lots of people who are saying you should have bought flowers, jewellery, spa day, clothes, perfume etc. None of that would appeal to me and I much prefer the kettle and mug idea, especially as it was based on saying she would like it.
The rest is just buying for the sake of buying and going through a tick list of what men should buy. Fine if you know she has a favourite flower, or is hankering over a particular piece of jewellery, but to me a general random buy of these items is a lot less personal than the supposed 'house item'.

Also, the baby themselves - newborns, fairly portable, crawling mobile children, less so. By November baby will be 8-9 months ish (if she’s due soon) so may well be mobile, not as easily entertained as a newborn and generally not happy about the flight / jet lag.

I’m firmly of the belief you don’t have to lock yourself at home but I also don’t think babies should just slot into your life - they’re little humans with their own wants and needs, and a long haul flight followed by a tropical holiday is highly unlikely to be enjoyable for them either.

I took my 13 month old to a long haul wedding, and will hold off going anywhere long haul until she’s older now - the jet lag scuppered her, she was tired, out of sorts and whilst she adores the beach, was clearly just a bit miserable. In hindsight that trip was very much for us, rather than for her.

I would absolutely love that. Functional AND pretty is my idea of the perfect present. My other half got me a gorgeous porcelain dinner service. My mum got me a webcam. I am happy!

However. It wasn't her idea of a present, so.

She's about to give birth, so have a look at eternity rings.

@RandomUser456878 also I skimmed through your other posts
tbh it sounds like you are treating her like “mum” already she needs to still be her . And feel special
Id be pissed with all the gifts for a baby when it’s met to for me .

Go out and get flowers and her favourite juice drink at the moment . Cook a special dinner and get online to order a spa day .
Nothing mumsie or gym gear either (no pressure ahy)

Well this would be my dream birthday present, as a mum as well!
I saw this kettle at the start of the year, and explicitly told my family that I will want this for my birthday this year 🤣
As for the dunelm mugs... I'm going to have to get myself to dunelm. I want this exact setup for my kitchen!!

Agree the added context about sterilising things isn't helpful, but it sounded like it was her that kept mentioning it, not both of them. He thinks it will be a faff washing things up.

@RandomUser456878 nice thought but not as a stand alone present. .

He said when they go to hotels they both say they should buy one for the bedroom. So it is something he wanted. She didn't ask for it as a birthday gift.

If you are thinking of getting her something else, would something like really nice pyjamas and a beautiful dressing gown and slippers work?

I think something like that would be nice for when she is in hospital/first home with baby. Although maybe this is too much of a practical gift?

He said they could use it to sterilise the baby's things and to soothe the baby. So it's not personal to her
. He also said every time they go to a hotel they say they should get something similar for the bedroom so he obviously thinks it a good idea too and he will use it just as he will use the mugs and tea bags.