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Original poster

SS speaking to DC in school

31 replies

Anxietystrikesagainyay · 22/02/2025 18:30

I know this isn’t a AIBU, but I’m posting for traffic as I’m anxious, sorry.

Eldest DS has severe autism and attends a SEN school.

Currently struggling in school and having lots of meltdowns as OCD and changing of routine moving class had upset him, then will sometimes come home and carry on being upset, so was reffeded to learning disability service aka CAMHS northwest alternative, as we don’t have one here.

They suggested we have a social worker so he can get some respite on weekends to go out 1:1 for a couple of hours, and other dc can do something they want to do (I declined this multiple times as I take all dc out together on weekends and manage) but on the last time they came, they said try it he might enjoy it, so I said there’s no harm in trying, fine.

Call from SS on Friday, they have received the referral from learning disability service and said they were told me family is at breakdown point? I didn’t say this but ok, and they wish to speak to my dc in school to see how it’s effecting them having a singling with autism and how they’re coping/ feeling etc. I was a little shocked but agreed as I didn’t want to sound like I had anything to hide and gave them permission to contact school and my youngest is at nursery. A little worried what he will say as he’s a toddler and doesn’t understand. But just looking for reassurance if anyone knows what will happen now.

OP posts:
Takoneko · 22/02/2025 18:45

Anxietystrikesagainyay · 22/02/2025 18:39

Thank you @Crankyracoon
I just wish I carried on declining now :( as my ds with autism is mentally the same age as his younger siblings, they all enjoy doing the same thing anyway, soft play, etc. So I didn’t actually want respite for him, hence declining multiple times before. It was more for managing his ocd and mental health, with perhaps some medication to calm him down atm.

I’m just in shock to hear they have told them my family is at the point of breakdown, which doesn’t feel fair, as when the disability nurse came, she said how do you cope, you do really well taking them out every week etc. but that’s not what she said on the SS referral.

I work in child protection. “This family is a breaking point” is just what we have to say to get families any support. It’s not a judgement on the families that I work with. I’ve said it plenty of times about families where I’m completely in awe of the parents, but they deserve more support. It’s so hard to get anything respite, you should grab it with both hands. I know social services involvement can feel really intrusive, but try not to let that comment bother you. It doesn’t meant they think you’re doing a bad job.

Original poster
Anxietystrikesagainyay · 22/02/2025 18:43

JLou08 · 22/02/2025 18:37

Don't worry about it, seeing children alone is part of a social workers job. They will want to make sure DC are okay and look at any extra support they can provide. It may be that they suggest a young carers group for the school age child or ask school to provide some extra pastoral support or make accommodations for him at school.

Ok thank you.

Do you know what they might ask them at school? I just worry as they are still very young and won’t quite understand I feel. I don’t want them to say the wrong thing and potentially dig me a deeper hole now my family is apparently “at breaking point”.

The nurse who came to the house also said the teacher had said something she hadn’t when she was watching my son with autism in school . When I asked his teacher, she said she did not say it and would be getting the head teacher to intervene the next time they went to watch him. And now they’ve said something I haven’t said to SS. Which is very annoying and seems they now have a form of it.

they’re coming again next week, I think il ask them why they said that, and why they kept telling me to give it a try he may like it, but word it totally different on the SS referral.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anxietystrikesagainyay · 22/02/2025 18:39

Thank you @Crankyracoon
I just wish I carried on declining now :( as my ds with autism is mentally the same age as his younger siblings, they all enjoy doing the same thing anyway, soft play, etc. So I didn’t actually want respite for him, hence declining multiple times before. It was more for managing his ocd and mental health, with perhaps some medication to calm him down atm.

I’m just in shock to hear they have told them my family is at the point of breakdown, which doesn’t feel fair, as when the disability nurse came, she said how do you cope, you do really well taking them out every week etc. but that’s not what she said on the SS referral.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 22/02/2025 18:37

Don't worry about it, seeing children alone is part of a social workers job. They will want to make sure DC are okay and look at any extra support they can provide. It may be that they suggest a young carers group for the school age child or ask school to provide some extra pastoral support or make accommodations for him at school.

Crankyracoon · 22/02/2025 18:33

I don't have any experience but just wanted to send some support, I can imagine your anxiety. X

Original poster
Anxietystrikesagainyay · 22/02/2025 18:31

Sorry for all the typos, I’ve just read it back and should have proof read before submitting.

OP posts:
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