Neighbour tried to get into DD car

It's true that 'tried to get in the car' is an exaggeration. Why would the neighbour need to get in the car? She wanted your daughter to hear her so she tried to open the door. This is a woman in a dressing gown who is known to your daughter, not a random attacker. Don't escalate this into something it isn't.

Sounds like you haven’t heard one of these hands free conversations, it’s extremely loud and a form of anti social behaviour, albeit inadvertently. It’s like standing there with a megaphone in the street outside someone’s house.

It’s a life lesson, no big deal really, but she won’t become one of those people sitting in the street essentially broadcasting via a megaphone.

i dont think you should get involved
your dd is old enough to drive
she made a mistake

If you're going to start an apology with "I'm sorry about X but..." then it's not really an apology so don't bother.
You're just passive aggressively trying to have a go at the neighbour. If you genuinely wanted to apologise you'd just say "I'm sorry about X" with no buts or exceptions.
As others have said, she was clearly at the end of her tether with your DD's loud behaviour. Do you genuinely not remember how hard it was when you were putting little ones to bed? She's probably driven to distraction with sleep deprivation and while she didn't handle it well you need to stop and have some empathy.

You are lucky. We are on the 2nd floor with double glazing so good that we don't hear car alarms and police sirens. We have heard many a Bluetooth car conversation word for word.

If your daughter is old enough to drive, she's old enough to deal with this herself.

Talking on your phone inside the car is fine, as is listening to music. If DD was doing the same at the same volume with the windows open inside the house, it wouldn't be up to anyone to open the door to tell her not to, even if they were being disturbed!

The neighbour is the one out of order and I don't agree that old enough to drive means old enough to deal with dicks who treat you like shit on your own.

It's the daughter's (and OP's) home, so the neighbour needs to be told in no uncertain terms not to behave like that. It's never her place to try to get in to a private space just because it's near her home and she doesn't want other people around, and needs nipping in the bud before she's in the garden or the house asserting her right to silence.

If your daughter is old enough to drive, surely she is old enough to deal with adult interactions. Why would you need to do it for her?

Was the engine still running of she was having a hands free call? That's probably what caused most of the noise. Why didn't she swap the call to her phone and turn the engine off?

I’ve never once heard someone else’s Bluetooth call. What time was it? Sounds like neighbour was out of order

I just walked by a car in a local convenience store's parking lot that was playing a podcast of some kind. EVERYONE could hear it as it was super loud and the windows were down as the driver was picking up a food order inside. So inconsiderate and rude and entitled.

OMG we have a teenager in our street who parks up and does hand free calls.

Drives us mad! It's soooo loud.

Honestly, I side with the dressing gown lady.

I’m also questioning how loud the dd actually was.

Clearly the NDN heard her. But how did the OP not hear her then?!? How loud was it really?

Im wondering if the NDN struggled to get the dcs to sleep. They woke up (again?) and the NDN just blew up, at whatever could have make that happen. In this case the dd.
Not such a surprising reaction if she is in her knees (but not an excuse furvtye aggressivity!).

This.

Her behaviour wasn't ok.

But then neither is talking on handsfree when the whole street can hear your conversation <👀at you neighbour down the road!>

I imagine she went into the blind panic of a sleep deprived parent for a moment where the kids had just finally dropped off.

Just show your DD if she isn't already aware (and if she was she should have used it) the function to switch a call from hands free back to the phone.

Maybe your daughter does it all the time but at the same point the neighbour sounds unhinged.

No no no.
Even if there was a good reason to go abd aplogise, then it’s your dd tya5 should do that. Not you. She isn’t 6yo anymore (and even then, she should have come with you anyways).
But seeing the behaviour of the woman, I wouldn’t go and apologise. I’m pretty sure it would only end up in getting more mouthful of abuse. No point,

I think a conversation needs to happen with the neighbour and daughter. Daughter should be more aware of the impact of her behaviour on others and neighbour should handle conflict in a better way. I'm going to go against the grain and say that the time doesn't really matter because we should all always be mindful of keeping our behaviour reasonable and respectful no matter the time of day. Some people work nights and sleep during the day, some people are sick or recovering, some people have babies and small children. I once asked my husband to go and shout a bunch of kids playing football in my street because I had just finally got my baby to sleep after hours of colicky crying. Of course he told me to get a grip.

Neighbour was aggressive and that's never ok. I would be worried that she could be problematic in the future.

Hands free are really loud! Was it late at night? Think I'd just learn from it and not do it again. Lack of sleep can make mums act crazy. Think I'd forgive the first time.

If she's old enough to drive she's ol enough to deal with things like this. Neighbour may have been a bit abrupt but as pp said its probably not the first time. It's dealt with. Leave it & don't get involved.

No need for you to get involved, presumably your daughter is at least 17 years old so beyond needing her mother to talk to neighbours on her behalf. I’d let it lie. She shouldn’t have been having a loud call, I’d probably overlook both that and the neighbour’s overreaction if both things are isolated incidents.

The neighbours behaviour was unreasonable and I can understand why your daughter was frightened by the experience.

The dressing gown does suggest it was later in the evening or early morning so your daughter should have continued her call via the handset if she was parked and the engine was turned off.

Your daughter is old enough to drive so you should leave her to resolve it with the neighbour herself. She could put a note through the door apologising for waking the children but also making it clear that she did not appreciate your neighbours attempts to get into her car.

You stay out of it.
The kids need to learn to be able to sleep when there is noise around. I have no idea how loud the call in the car was but it would have to be REALLY loud to wake a baby/kids up from a nap. Also music in a car has to be very very loud to be heard and be able to wake someone up in their own house.

Don't say or do anything with this neighbour.

No one should be on hands free calls when parked up in a residential area - they're just too loud. Disney dad picking his child up across the road used to do it all the time. Staring out of the window at him every time he did it seems to have got him to take the hint and it's stopped, thank goodness.

Handsfree calls are really loud in a car. Your DD may have been speaking quietly but the other person coming through would have been booming.

Your DD was only scared because she wasn’t expecting it, if the woman was trying to open the door it was so she could be heard, it’s not like she was wielding an axe or anything.

Tell DD to maybe conduct phone calls once she’s inside so she doesn’t piss the neighbours off.