Neighbour tried to get into DD car

Admittedly I do turn my music down when approaching places, but its usually when I need to concentrate on parking etc. and I don't want it blaring out. I have a loud 3 cylinder engine so it does have to be louder than the average volume. I think without being a fly on the wall, your DD may have been the latest in a string of cars that park up and continue talking on bluetooth, and she was the straw that broke the camel's back where the neighbour was concerned.

Your daughter needs to come home and talk on her loudspeaker so you can experience it. Otherwise grow up and just have a normal phone conversation.

It’s interesting to hear people saying they had no idea handsfree calls are amplified outside the car. I’ve often wondered if people didn’t know or knew but just didn’t care. I don’t know the mechanics of it, but when I hear them in supermarket car parks etc it’s like there’s a speaker on the outside of the car broadcasting the call!

You’re misrepresenting it by saying the neighbour tried to get in her car. She didn’t. She opened the door to speak to her. Perhaps she’d already tried to attract her attention, failed and was keen to get her to be quiet.

Your DD shouldn’t have been sitting in a car taking a loud, booming phone call. It’s enraging when people are so inconsiderate. I’m sorry your DD was shocked by the door being opened, but hopefully she’s now learnt her lesson and will think more in future.

What time was it? Was the engine off? My previous home was next to a car park and people would often sit in their cars with the engine on and the sound of an idling car going on even for just 2 minutes is infuriating.

Sounds like the neighbour didn't actually try to get into the car but tried to open one of the doors to speak to the person inside
Maybe the neighbour was a bit over the top but a lot of us have finally got our kids to sleep only for some Dick to wake them up and it does tend to make one feel a bit crazy!!

I agree with the majority. The neighbour shouldn’t have tried to get into the car. Even if your daughter was so loud she didn’t hear her, knocking and waving should have been enough to attract her attention.

However, I used to live on an otherwise quiet side street which was used by taxis to park up. The noise from Bluetooth calls has an incredibly loud booming quality which frequently used to wake me up as my bedroom was at the front of the house. Something to do with the frequency maybe as I’m quite sensitive to low register sounds. Eventually the council had to get involved as enough people complained.

Either way, if your daughter is old enough to drive she’s old enough to deal with it herself. Hopefully both sides can learn from it and not repeat their actions.

Neighbour is probably at the end of her tether with non sleeping children, hence the unhinged behaviour.

Daughter should be more aware - I doubt this reaction is the result of one short phone call

@WeirdNeighbour could you clarify?
If the call your dd was making was so loud, how is it that you didn’t hear it?

By saying you wanted to go and aplogise for your dd, youve everyone assumed it must have been bad. But something doesn’t add up there.
Eother ot was very loud and you have heard it.
So you didn’t hear anything and it wasn’t that loud??

Fine, but I still don't think anyone has the right to open your car door. Yes you drive it down the street, but it's your personal space. It's aggressive to try to make someone feel unsafe because you're unhappy about something they're doing and shouldn't be let go with a neighbour who is overstepping that mark.

Can I guess it was very late at night, and its
probably not the first time. Tell dd to go and apologise and not to do it again.

M ay I make a few general points

Firstly the real issue with phone calls when driving is that even if hands free they are still dangerous so you should not be doing it period, especially as a new driver.

then there is a general issue about unnecessary noise from cars eg leaving engines running and music that drivers need to be aware of - but for the most part are not.

It isnt so bad when the vehicle is moving but when they are stopped its rightly annoying

The correct answer.

I'm on the neighbours side, I've often thought of doing the same outside my house, dressing gown and all, especially at half eleven at night, we seem live by the perfect pull over point and those calls are LOUD.
Ps she's too old for mum to be stepping in if she can drive.

My neighbour's teenage daughters used to do this, with the engine idling too. And yes it is bloody annoying, as any noise is at night.

I may have yelled 'Shaddddupp' through the open window once at 1.30 am so I suppose that qualifies me as a nutter according to many of the people on this thread.

They both behaved less than wonderfully, your daughter was inconsiderate and the neighbour clearly lost her temper, but if you've got young children, someone waking them is horrible. Can you remember back to how tiring it was and how you would have felt?

Sorry but YABU because hands free calls are really loud. I once went outside in my pyjamas to ask someone to keep it down - she was the opposite side of the car park to my flat and i had doors and windows closed, i could still hear every detail of a very personal phone call. She was mortified. Your car offers no sound insulation to a hands free call.

you say the neighbour “tried to get in”, but presumably she was just opening the door to speak to your DD, not actually getting in?

Why does nobody actually pick up their phone and hold it to their ear anymore? Why does everyone else have to listen to both sides of the conversation? I don’t understand.

Leave it.
She was obviously on her last nerve.

Was the car running at the time? I have a neighbour who sits in his running car having conversations. I can't hear the conversation (just when he laughs or gets excited about something) but I do hear the car idling the whole time. It is a bit anti-social.

The neighbour should've approached the car and knocked on the window. But I don't think you need to get involved, if your daughter was upset and the neighbour was annoyed with the noise then it's best to just forget it. Or advise your daughter to apologise if they bump into eachother.

I wonder if neighbour had to open door as DD was so engrossed in her conversation and couldn't hear neighbour due to the loudness of the conversation.

Hopefully now DD won't do this in future.

If the neighbour was in a dressing gown I'm guessing this was fairly late; also your daughter must have been pretty loud and talking for longer than she says to give the neighbour enough time to get upset about it and go out to the car. You should point out to your daughter that it's hardly surprising if a sleep-deprived neighbour gets upset at her needlessly waking small children, and both of you should let it go.

ask your partner or a friend to try it, and stand outside, you'll see!
It's usually ridiculously loud. No privacy whatsoever 😂

This is a useful thread because I had no idea that handsfree conversations were loud outside the car! We live in a flat well above ground level and before that we were in a house well back from the road, so I've never experienced it. Next time I pull over to take a call I will definitely remember this! 🙏

what time was it?

It's winter, most people have their windows shut. If it DID really wake the kids up, it must have been a right racket!

without being there, impossible to know if it was just noise in the background, or very unreasonable anti-social.