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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rejected by old boss - argh!

208 replies

Greengreengrassblueblueskies · 21/02/2025 23:53

Name changed for this. I’ve spent the evening feeling very sorry for myself!

A few years ago I worked for a very long time for my old boss as his PA. I always did a good job and got great feedback/reviews and when he moved departments we kept in touch (I stayed in my old role as how our company is structured he couldn’t “take me with him”)

We have kept in touch and I’d actually say we are good friends and also colleagues.

He recently got a promotion to a newly created role and internally they advertised for a PA for him. So I applied and interviewed with him (and another person from his team on the panel). I thought I’d be great and a good fit given I know him and I know his new area he’s been promoted to.

And then at 5pm, I got a rejection email from HR. No feedback. Nothing. To make matters worse, we have spoken since the interview (about normal things unrelated to work).

I feel SO sad. I really wanted to work for him again and he always says how much he loved working with me…so why not give me the job?! Ergh.

AIBU for feeling this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
Greengreengrassblueblueskies · 22/02/2025 00:08

cinnamonbunfight · 22/02/2025 00:07

Is it possible another candidate just gave a better interview?

It could well be. I just know him so well, how he works, his new area of work, his personal matters so could just slot right in.

OP posts:
cinnamonbunfight · 22/02/2025 00:07

Is it possible another candidate just gave a better interview?

Original poster
Greengreengrassblueblueskies · 22/02/2025 00:05

MellowTiger · 22/02/2025 00:02

I’d ask for feedback. If your friends could you ask him directly? Maybe he prefers you as a friend rather than an employee?

Thank you. I just worry he may just make up an excuse and in reality he never thought I was good/doesn’t like me. I almost feel too hurt to message him too! Gosh how pathetic!

OP posts:
Original poster
Greengreengrassblueblueskies · 22/02/2025 00:04

Labraradabrador · 22/02/2025 00:02

It might be that from his perspective your relationship has shifted into friend territory and being your boss would be uncomfortable.

it might be that he feels like he needs something different in his new role

did you speak to him about it before you applied?

I did speak to him and he told me to go for it. He wasn’t sort of overly encouraging or super negative, just said yes I should apply.

I’m really nervous to ask him for feedback, as I suspect he’ll make something up rather than perhaps admit he didn’t want me….

OP posts:
MellowTiger · 22/02/2025 00:02

I’d ask for feedback. If your friends could you ask him directly? Maybe he prefers you as a friend rather than an employee?

Labraradabrador · 22/02/2025 00:02

It might be that from his perspective your relationship has shifted into friend territory and being your boss would be uncomfortable.

it might be that he feels like he needs something different in his new role

did you speak to him about it before you applied?

Original poster
Greengreengrassblueblueskies · 21/02/2025 23:57

steff13 · 21/02/2025 23:56

Was it completely up to him? Maybe he wanted you but was outvoted for some reason. Can you ask them for feedback?

It was completely his decision. There was another panel member but how these things tend to work in my company is whoever the “boss” chooses tends to get the role given the role is working very closely with him (manages his private diary too).

OP posts:
steff13 · 21/02/2025 23:56

Was it completely up to him? Maybe he wanted you but was outvoted for some reason. Can you ask them for feedback?