Blind sided at work and don't know what to do next

Kindly-you don’t need to know who said which part. And I don’t necessarily think it’s cause to leave if you think you can take the feedback and turn it around.

But you do need to sit with your manager and go through the feedback piece by piece to make a plan to fix it if you like the job and want to stay there.

Um sorry but you’re kicking off about the negative feedback but haven’t even commented about whether you have reflected on that feedback and what you could do better. You sound just like someone I’m dealing with currently can’t see their wrongs even though there right in front of them. Take the feedback and act on it.

No don’t leave! You clearly care and want to do a good job. You just need support to achieve it. If no support is available then screw them and find somewhere that can develop you.

Do you work in the NHS or in social care? Have you been set up to fail because the workload and expectation is totally unrealistic?
On the bright side, perhaps this could be leverage to reduce your workload to something more manageable.
Aldo, coming from a different perspective - what if it were true? So what if you aren’t perfect manager. The world keeps turning and you still get paid.

I agree with others OP. This is not devastating feedback at all. Your team are simply saying they want more of your time. The fact you haven't given them more isn't a skills failure on your part, it's a capacity issue. That youve taken this so hard plus your comments about your workload are a red flag that things are getting too much for you. I'd advise you ask for another meeting with your manager. Tell them you've reflected on the feedback and would like to offer the team more time, and could you discuss your workload so this can be achieved.

Also, OP, remember this isn't personal.

Yes, it's about your management of them but it's a work issue. Not a personal you issue.

When I went into teaching, one of our lecturers warned us that we'd work very hard and long hours and feel we were still giving of ourselves even when we had nothing left to give and that we would all face criticism. She said it was very important to remember that any criticism was not of us as individuals but of the role.

Obviously, there are some people who deserve individual criticism! But this sounds much more like they are asking for more time with you and more direction, which you are currently unable to deliver due to your workload.

Your managers have a duty of care and responsibility to you to make sure that you can do your job properly too.

A good leader takes feedback and reflects. The fact it’s been brought up means you have an opportunity to reassess and make changes. Your response of getting signed off is weird imo. It’s a time for learning not to give up.

You’ve been clear your current schedule isn’t working and you’re in back to back meetings so your team can’t access you. You need direction from your manager what you can drop to allow you to realign your balance. Can you delegate anything to your team?

Or are you like my manager who is constantly busy but a couple of months ago I was waiting for a project and had very little to do. Despite the fact I’ve done parts of her job previously, she’s so insecure she won’t delegate. She works all hours and I think fuck it, if that’s what she’d rather do than allow me to develop then I’ll stop offering help.

To be honest if ALL your employees are saying the same thing then I’d do a bit of introspection if I were you.

I say this as someone in a team of 5 who have an absolute wet blanket of a line manager who could really do with being managed out.

Im sorry if that seems brutal OP but if it were one person I’d wonder about a vendetta, but if it’s the whole team then I suspect you are more likely to be the problem.

Doesn’t seem that bad! People will always take the chance to have a bit of a moan. Just look for the themes or common moans and be proactive in thinking how you could address them.

Lets be honest if you are given the chance to give anonymous feedback about your manager I bet you would include some negatives.

And also, talk to your own manager about your workload. No one should be sacrificing a life away from work. Not these days. Balance is really important

Doesn’t seem that bad! People will always take the chance to have a bit of a moan. Just look for the themes or common moans and be proactive in thinking how you could address them.

Lets be honest if you are given the chance to give anonymous feedback about your manager I bet you would include some negatives.

And also, talk to your own manager about your workload. No one should be sacrificing a life away from work. Not these days. Balance is really important

Doesn’t seem that bad! People will always take the chance to have a bit of a moan. Just look for the themes or common moans and be proactive in thinking how you could address them.

Lets be honest if you are given the chance to give anonymous feedback about your manager I bet you would include some negatives.

And also, talk to your own manager about your workload. No one should be sacrificing a life away from work. Not these days. Balance is really important

Are you new to being a manager or have you changed companies?
Different jobs/companies have different have different cultures.
Managing your employees is as important as interdepartmental meetings especially if you're new to the job. Once everybody's getting into the groove you might not need that many 1to1s.
Also delegate your meetings. I've known too many managers who insisted at being at too many meetings when either a junior employee or just reading the minutes might have sufficed. Look back on how many meetings you actually had an input in.

Also the best managers I had always had a good work life balance so sacrificing that will also hinder your performance.

O you are so funny 🤮

I agree with this, OP this must be upsetting to hear when you are so busy and stressed but looking at it neutrally if you are that busy then your team probably are being honest in their feedback about basically feeling that they could do with more support. As could you, it’s not a reflection on your ability.

It's obvious what she means.

Such an unnecessary comment when someone is upset.
You are really quite rude and nasty.

Why was your manager soliciting feedback about you from your team?

Given the performance struggles and now this, it sounds like you’re being managed out, to be honest.

Are you in a position to try and negotiate an exit deal?

I fell apart on my manager and currently see no way back. I know I could get signed off ( have not taken a day's sick in 5 years I have been there).

Why would you get signed off because of this? 😳

Ask your manager to sit with you and help with an improvement plan.

Something sounds very wrong here. Are you micromanaging or taking on too much yourself (hence the hours) and not delegating enough to allow juniors to do the work and grow through your feedback? Is your manager just giving you too much work? Take the weekend to think it through. It may not be as catastrophic as you think. Nothing is better than owning your mistakes, fixing them and moving on. It's exemplary behaviour for your reports, too.

Er op, this isn’t DEVASTATING feedback. It’s an area to improve on sure, but I think you’re catastrophising a bit, probably because you sound extremely extremely stressed.

please chill - take it on the chin and when you have slept and eaten and chilled, have a think about how to work smarter and get them more direction without any more hours for you.

1-1 meetings with agendas and they need to be prepared for a discussion. Do you have a PA? Someone to take notes and follow up on action items. Delegate if at all possible.

Something sounds very wrong here. Are you micromanaging or taking on too much yourself (hence the hours) and not delegating enough to allow juniors to do the work and grow through your feedback? Is your manager just giving you too much work? Take the weekend to think it through. It may not be as catastrophic as you think. Nothing is better than owning your mistakes, fixing them and moving on. It's exemplary behaviour for your reports, too.