Blind sided at work and don't know what to do next

This sounds more to me like feedback on the office culture rather than on you personally. You don’t have enough time to give them, and they need more of your time. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! If your manager was a decent manager they’d be helping you to free up time to give your staff more attention and looking into how this can be done, rather than using it as a stick to beat you with. You need to flag that your workload is too heavy and you don’t have enough time.

I hate 360° feedback, it just encourages people to be bitchy anonymously with no comeback.

I wouldn't take their feedback personally, because I can't imagine any manager in social care being provided good feedback. It's a service that requires to be bulldozed and started again from scratch.
My career was in health, and the integration with social care was one of the main drivers in me leaving. The culture of blame, passing the buck and arse covering in the service was impossible - I've never met an unhappier workforce.

You sound completely exhausted and it's awful to have that sort of discussion on a Friday and then have the weekend to have it going round in your head. Try not to let it eat away at you over the weekend, have some rest and family time.
The feedback isn't awful but when you don't get much positive alongside it is going to seem much worse than it is. I wonder how much of it you are actually able to control and have sway over? Especially with what you said about 10 hours of back to back meetings.
Go in on Monday with your positive mindset in place, be your usual cheery self with the team.
Then, think about how you can change things in your job so that you can make more time to be with your team. What's one thing that you can seek your manager's support to make happen? Once you've got that in place, what might the next thing be to tackle?

Do you think these people are too demanding of your time and are unable to act without direction?

But most of us can at least spell ‘hole’!

Did your manager give you any constructive feedback how to deal with the feedback?
It’s obvious that you are in a high pressure work situation, but the feedback seems to suggest you refocus. It’s really not horrendous feedback though, it’s stuff you can work on.
Personally, I would speak to each member of your staff and see if you can agree how they want to be better supported. Tackling this head on will show that you are not only willing to take on board this feedback, but keen to make changes. I don’t know what management level you’re at, but make sure whatever you agree is in writing and that it requires mutual effort - don’t take all the blame.
Also, remember people find it easy to bitch when given opportunity!!!

I fell apart on my manager and currently see no way back. I know I could get signed off ( have not taken a day's sick in 5 years I have been there).

Jesus. This is why the Uk is in such a productivity whole. People can’t take feedback without being signed off for gods knows what.

As soon as I read your op I could tell you were in social care. Being a team manager in this area is an impossible job so be kind to yourself. I'm relatively new to social care but, unlike most professions, I can see already that it needs more middle management as you have such an important job in 'holding' your staff. I suspect most SW's would give similar feedback about their TM (inc me) but they recognise it's a structural rather than an individual issue xx

That feedback doesn't sound that bad though? But it does make you feel a bit shit if your manager doesn't prioritise 1-1 meetings.

I suspect you have a team to manage but are also accountable for ‘doing the do’ and you’ve been understandably prioritising the doing. Take a deep breath and step back a little and look at how you’re spending your time. Ask your manager for help in prioritising (after all, they have the same responsibilities) and confirm how much time they think you should be spending on line management vs delivering activities. Work out how much time you need to spend on line management (is that an hour per week per person? How much time does that equate to per week/month) and how much time does that leave for casework. And then go to your manager and clearly ask them to confirm how they expect you to prioritise your time.

also, think about how your 121s actually work in practice. Is it essentially constantly task focussed? Look at setting aside an hour a month/quarter where you both step back from current tasks and do the personal stuff, where do they need support, what development activities do they need help with, what are they struggling with? It sounds like your team may be conscious that you’re struggling with workload, but still need that level of direction and support and don’t know how to get that. Line management is a very specific skill and needs to be developed, you need to develop those skills but your line manager should be helping you do that also.

Its really hard to not take this personally when you’re working flat out to keep all the plates spinning but it’s not a personal attack on you, just people highlighting that from their perspective there’s a gap in what they need atm and you need to lean on your own line manager to help you close that gap

No reason to be devastated. It’s constructive feedback. Work out how to give them more time et voila.

360 feedback is a stupid, borderline-evil idea invented by management consultants to line their pockets. It is massively open to abuse. Please take it all with a massive pinch of salt. Take anything useful, ignore the rest. It sounds like someone bitter with an axe to grind. Try not to internalise the nonsense. You are worth more. Work is how you put food on the table, it doesn’t define you, you just learn how to grin and bear the relentless bs.

TBH spending 10 hours in non-stop back to back meetings instead of supporting your own staff sounds like either an avoidance tactic or poor time management on your part. You need to act as a good role model, take proper breaks, and make sure you have time in your day/diary both for one to ones, and more open sessions when staff can bring their concerns to you. You are going to be seen as unsupportive if you are hardly ever available. You need to reflect on how you handle situations with your staff if they have concerns about their cases which they need or want your advice/guidance/help with. Put on a brave face and tell them you are starting afresh.

Are you the right person to be in all these meetings?

Are any of the meetings duplicating work?

Are these meetings actually productive? Do decisions get made at them? Do you make these decisions? Do you need to be present?

Your staff are crying out for your attention and support. If you're in meetings all day, you can't do that.

Something needs to give and ten hours a day in meetings is not normal.

When do you prepare for these meetings? What's the point of them all?

Time to schedule in time for your staff each week.

I work at the local hospital- we have never been asked to give feedback on any of the managers in my 20 years there!!
I wouldn’t place too much weight on your Team’s response because it seems that you are being overworked - how the role is structured doesn’t allow you to be as successful as you want to be. Not worth sacrificing time with your kids for this! Does your manager sacrifice their family life in the same way? Are they a great manager?
Sorry Op, I think you need to care a little less about the job.

Also, this advice is great.

OP it's really hard not to take feedback personally but like I others I'd read this as wanting a bit more of your time and engagement in what is no doubt a very stressful environment. I'm a millennial and my staff are mostly Gen Z; instinctively I find them quite needy and wanting a lot more support than I think they should need at their grade, it certainly wasn't what I needed. I find it hard when they say they don't have enough support from me (which they have said from time to time), but I recognise for me this isn't about my management skills or abilities but the fact that 1) I'm a single parent of two toddlers and so have to work flexibly and juggle my life in ways they don't and therefore don't understand, and 2) that they need support to feel confident in doing their jobs themselves and quite frankly a lot of workload and pressure removed that's drowning all of us. I've used this feedback to try to be more reliably present at moments when they need me, actively demonstrate engagement by asking if they need support on anything, and also to help build their confidence. This feedback shook me too when first received, but for me it was about taking it on board and thinking through what I could change to better meet the needs of my staff.

My advice would be to schedule 1-2-1s with each of your team ASAP. Explain you’ve had feedback that the level of support and guidance you’ve been giving them to date isn’t meeting their needs, that you want to understand more around this and see what practical, tangible changes and interventions you can implement with them to ensure this improves. Emphasise that this is a safe space for them to be open and honest with no backlash, that you genuinely want to better understand where you have been going wrong so you can fix it, for everyone’s sake. Make sure you really listen to them, do t be defensive or argumentative- this is all about listening and understanding at this stage. Make sure to acknowledge their feelings but also ensure they recognise that to improve this, the onus doesn’t just fall entirely on you and you alone. They need to be part of the solution here - not only in suggesting changes that will benefit the ways of working but also realising the role they play in making those changes stick and be successful.

In parallel, you need a meeting with your manager to make it clear that your current workload/obligations and deliverables are preventing you from being able to effect a meaningful turnaround in your team’s level of satisfaction. Spell it out clearly that you currently do not have the time available to allow you to provide them with more hands on, proactive, visible support / coaching / face time. Ask your manager to identify what are your priorities. Even better, go into the meeting with your own proposal taking a ‘Stop, Start, Continue’ approach to assessing the current tasks that sit with you and suggest where the changes could be made. Your proposal should consider what opportunities exist to delegate certain tasks to your team members who might benefit from the chance to take them on as a learning & development opportunity. If there is a natural successor in your team who would benefit from role shadowing / deputising, suggest an approach that allows a gradual and managed transition of some of your responsibilities to create a considered succession plan. Not only does this demonstrate you’re thinking about the development of your team, you’re also considering the business needs to ensure continuity and ongoing quality of service delivery.

With your manager, agree (and make sure to document) a clear and practical plan for how you will ensure time is carved out for you to focus on your direct reports, including agreeing ways to measure the success of the approach once implemented. If your manager won’t support changes to workload or ways of working that will enable this, ask them directly how they reasonably expect you then to resolve the issue that your team has been brave enough to articulate. Their response will be telling.

Please make sure any conversations with your manager are followed up in writing, summarising the conversation and any agreements made.

Please don’t get too dejected by this @katedan. See it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to transform some key relationships from negative to positive.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

Sometimes it takes a push to get us where we need to be, whether that's a different role or different job altogether.

Try not to take it personally.

How long have you been a manager?

What training did you have before you took the role? What training have you had since?

What have your staff said about you up to now?

Do you have enough time in your job to carry out all your tasks, including managing staff?

I thought this was social work when I read it! Is it statutory social work? There is so much pressure on managers in social work, work can't be delegated to the team, all social workers and their direct managers are under immense pressure. Social workers need more support than the average employee and managers often don't have the time to deliver such a high level of support because their own work load is so high. Although you should reflect and try to make changes try not to let this get you down, you won't be the only manager with poor feedback.

OP take a breath. You are overworked and trying your best.

Your team haven’t been negative they just want more from you. That ain’t bad feedback.

I would get the while team together on Monday, tell them you have had rhe feedback (maybe mention you wish they would have come to you first) and want to discuss how to positively go forward together.

This will show your manager you are addressing the problem, you are giving more time to your team and supporting them.

Take notes. Send the team an email about the proposed solutions and what you propose to do. Then schedule those 1-1s and stick to them.

And also, to find that time back start using the 1-1s to challenge them as they have requested by giving them some of your work. This will support their development and help you to find more time.

Good luck.

For what it's worth I went on a leadership course where the personal feedback was brutal and struck me to the core... but when I thought about it I realised it was valid and it made me a much stronger person able to much better handle criticism (valid and invalid) moving forward.

You need to get over the initial shock and upset that has hurt you, and look objectively at the comments and be open with your team about how change is a two way street and they as much as you must communicate better etc. Right now you're in the "hurt" stage, move beyond it and try and use the comments to improve yourself.
Good luck

The cynic in me would also be wondering how this feedback was sought, as given how under pressure frontline social care staff are, there's a big difference between
'do you feel supported enough in your role/do you get enough reflective supervision'

And 'how do you find X as a manager'

I've worked in many organisations where the frustrations of frontline staff were used as a stick to beat middle management with, when if you spoke to the frontline staff they knew the managers were doing the best they could, but that there weren't enough of them, they weren't available enough (because of the workload) and they didn't feel they wanted to bother them (because they could see they were chairing back to back meetings all day). Those frustrations were genuine, but again was about the system rather than the individual skills of any particular manager - do you think there could be anything similar going on here from the person who has given you this feedback?

I thought you were going to say social work. I’d be pushing back hard, asking where they are going to alter things, to allow you the time to manage more effectively.