He told me to find someone else to have babies with

Your husband wasn't being very nice.

But you must see, surely, that you almost certainly won't be able to have another baby no matter how hard you try or what you throw at it? It's like talking about all the things you're planning to do together when you're 105, and then being offended when your husband says 'I don't think I really want to make it to 105'. Whether or not he wants to, the chance of it happening for is infinitesimally small.

Which is, of course, very sad, not just for you and but for any woman who is too old to have the children they still want to have.

There is a very slim chance that you would be fertile, echoing others, that ship has sailed.

I voted YANBU because I am your age and 9 months pregnant

And what's that got to do with the OP?

Unless you're saying you baby's dad doesn't want it?

With kindness here the success rate of a ovulating woman over 45 becoming pregnant naturally is around 3% and that's with two functioning tubes.

You're also assuming your ovary is still releasing eggs and they are good quality.If your DH agreed to it you could both end up facing an incredible amount of heartache.

You're both lucky enough to already be parents and your at the stage where your kids will be independent enough to get some of your own freedom too.

Do you really want to spend your 60's raising another teenager?

I think some counselling would be a good idea - I think you haven’t moved beyond the loss and trauma of your past experiences and I think doing this would really help you. It’s a huge ask of your husband at this stage and he’s been consistent in his view. Best of luck to you xxx

I see it as a massive insult that we’ve been together this long and he won’t even consider it for me.

Having a baby for someone else is a terrible idea. As is having a baby with someone who doesn't really want one.

You've been together this long and it sounds like from the beginning have had a shared agreement that you wouldn't have children. You can change your mind, and you can be upset. But I don't think you can be insulted when all he's doing is sticking to the feeling he's consistently had for over a decade.

Congratulations on your pregnancy @CortieTat

I see it as a massive insult that we’ve been together this long and he won’t even consider it for me....

Sorry for your pain OP, but he could say the same.

Having been together this long and having agreed not to have anymore.....

I voted YANBU because I am your age and 9 months pregnant, it’s a low risk pregnancy as well. Not everyone falls apart after 35 and I don’t see any problem with wanting children at that age.

The obvious problem for OP is that her DH has been clear from for their entire relationship that he definitely does not want additional children. Wanting another child isn't unreasonable, but marrying someone who is clear about not wanting that and then a decade down the road deciding they're being unfair or uncaring because they won't try for another baby certainly is.

In a weird way, I can see how losing a tube might make you feel this way ❤️ Presumably losing one also affects your hormones and thus can make a person extra emotional?

Be kind to yourself, it sounds horrible what you are going through. Maybe find something fun and interesting to distract yourself with x

At 47 it really is very very unlikely you will comceive naturally. And if you even did conceive the chances of miscarriage are very high and the risk of abnormalities is very high. Sad for you though it is I think you need to let this go. Go and have counselling.

I met my current partner when I had just turned 41 and he was 39. I've known since I was 9 that I didn't want children, and have always made that crystal clear to anyone I dated, from the very first date (if it came up).

When we'd been together about a year - so I was 42 - he made noises about having a child, and I told him exactly what your husband told you....'if you want that, find someone else'....I was deadly serious. I actually felt quite insulted as well, like he'd not actually been listening and respecting what I said right back at the beginning about how I had never wanted children. He'd had a good 20 years before he met me to find someone to have children with....he can't have been that bothered if he hadn't.

That was over 15 years ago. I've never regretted not having children...if my partner does, that's something he needs to deal with himself, it's not my responsibility.

Is there a reason you hate siding with a straight man?

I’m not one by the way but your comment just stood out to me.

Omg I had "baby fever" come and go for years and years lol. I had two kids but wanting another baby would still just hit me hard now and then. And I feel like it would probably have kept returning no matter how many kids I had. I really have no idea why. Now I'm past all that, finally. But trust me, I definitely get it!

I think your husband could have been much nicer and more understanding about it. He didn't have to say what he said. It is a huge honor to him that you wanted to have his baby, after all, regardless. I think he owes you dinner out as an apology, at least and a baby puppy or kitten if you're still really mad about it!

I remember being so in love with my unborn child and thinking this must be so incredible with someone who actually loves you.

This is absolutely delusional. Many, many women don’t find pregnancy “incredible”, regardless of how loved they are. It’s a means to an end, not some kind of spiritual journey. Look up the geriatric mother’s statistics for miscarriage and baby health, you’re overly romanticising this.

I voted YANBU because I am your age and 9 months pregnant, it’s a low risk pregnancy as well. Not everyone falls apart after 35 and I don’t see any problem with wanting children at that age.

Having said that, it is much harder to get pregnant and stay pregnant over 43. It took us four years and several miscarriages, the probability of miscarriage goes up to between 50%-90%, depending on which study you look into (there are only a few btw). I also have much younger DC than yours and with the same partner - we started our family late so we are not at the stage of having teenagers or young adults at home.

Another thing to consider is that you have not TTC with your husband, so you really don’t know if you are able to get pregnant as quickly as with your previous partner, because it takes two to tango and you might be completely incompatible.

I understand you but I also think you need to be realistic about how much time and effort this can take.

OP I had my 3 DC with exh. I've been married to my current DH for 19 years. We almost had a baby together but miscarried at almost 16 weeks and it was awful. After 2 or 3 years DH and I decided to foster a DC with SN who had experienced dreadful neglect in his early years. He's been with us since he was 5 and he's 18 now but in all respects he's our DC. We've seen him grow and develop and we've tried to help him overcome his dreadful past. He's got learning disabilities and he can't remember before he lived with us. We have just taken a second DC with similar issues but he's 16 and had a very poor miserable existence. Now we are focussing on making it up to him for all the little things he's missed out on. He's only been to the beach once in his life. He's over the top excited just to join a football club and get a football kit and boots. In the future you may get DGC. That is something to look forward to. Focus on building the best relationship with your DC and DSC.

At nearly 50 that's pretty unfair to a child to try and become pregnant. No offence, but that's really old to have a baby on purpose.

OP I have 3 healthy and now adult DC. I thought I was done. Yet when my periods stopped I felt bereft. The hormone changes made me upset and emotional. The chances of you getting pregnant at your age are remote and even smaller because of only one fallopian tube. With kindness, let it go. Your DH will not be supportive. You could throw away your marriage over this. You say you have 3 DC/dsc.

This, basically.
I would suggest that you seek professional counseling as a matter of urgency.

The idea of wheedling someone into late-in-life parenthood after it's long been agreed the relationship would not produce children is just .... wrong.

You already have children. You have a presumably loving spouse and decent home. Sometimes "count your blessings" is an apt response.

You are not being realistic and I'd say no if I was your husband too.
It would be a complete upheaval.
It's perfectly normal at your age for the body to yearn for a last baby. I've seen it again and again. The trouble is it doesn't last. It's a very short phase. It's fertilities last hurrah.
Imagine you had a profoundly disabled child. Thats the end of your life and any plans you might have for the future.
I didn't have this but I remember my mother did and she said a couple of years later, thank God you talked me out of it.

Just for another perspective. Even if you manage to get husband to agree and manage to have a child. That’s not the end. You possibly have menopause around the corner and trust me for some that is hell to deal with without having a small child in the mix. There is no way I could cope with a four year old at 52 (this being if you conceived straight away).

Sorry, but you're 47... you're 47!!!

It is OK to be sad, to feel sad. It is OK to cry or to feel downcast. Those are all normal human emotions.

And it is OK to meet that sadness face on, to recognise the depth of all your feelings. Sometimes it help to work with an experienced professional / therapist to help you work through the feelings.

Don't hide from feeling sad. But sad is only one part of all the emotions we feel. Happy, guilty, excited, angry. Look at your most recent day - think about the things that your current dc did that made you feel excited, or worried, or anything they did that made you laugh. You might feel sad, but I think you can only actually feel one emotion at a time. So when you're feeling the other emotions (whether they are good or bad) you are not simultaneoulsy feeling sad. Maybe focus on all the other variations of emotions...

What you want to move away from, is your sadness about the lack of an imagined child, to impact all the wonderful positive things your have with your dp and your existing dc / dstepc.

And yes, the child we might have had... sad. But also has a ridiculous name! They would have been so bullied at school. We have humour in there too x

Another baby at 47?? Bloody hell…
Just enjoy the three, presumably, lovely healthy children you have.