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AIBU?

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Non binary

237 replies

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 20:53

Watching first dates and someone said they were non binary and asked the bar guy what his pronouns were.
I just don’t understand surely you are male or female whether that be what you were born or not. I just can’t get my head round not feeling youre either. Can anyone please put it in simple terms for me.

OP posts:
Magpie69 · 21/02/2025 22:16

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

Did u read around Ireland with a fridge?

whatcanthematterbe81 · 21/02/2025 22:14

Is this the first time you've heard it? I don't get it because I don't feel it, but I don't really care what others want to identify as. (Apart from the whole female toilet issue)

Didimum · 21/02/2025 22:11

TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 21:49

Just like we are not required to play along and pretend it’s valid

It’s someone she’s watching on tv. It’s irrelevant.

monsterfish · 21/02/2025 22:09

Bring gay/straight is about sexuality. Pronouns/binary indicates a brief is stereotypical gender stereotypes.

so to be a she/her you should be bouncing around like sebrina carpenter. Stem subjects are off limits and if you cut your hair short then you are non binary as clearly a part of you feels you should be a male/bot.

i usually say please just use my name, pronouns not necessary - usually an awkward pause as they realise they don’t know, or remember, my name.

MassiveGoat · 21/02/2025 22:09

I'm quite shocked that you've made it to 2025 without encountering non binary anywhere, even on your TV, before. Mumsnet has been full of this stuff for the past decade nearly, I presume you hang out here quite often if your first instinct is to put up a post here rather than Google so I'm doubly mystified that this appears new to you. What have you been doing for the past 10 years?

Funykeudfh · 21/02/2025 22:04

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

Why?

murasaki · 21/02/2025 22:02

Some people seem to use it in lieu of a personality.

tonyhawks23 · 21/02/2025 22:01

I cant believe this whole thread! these replies! Ive reported it as cant be real!

maddening · 21/02/2025 22:00

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Just like a trans identified person has no actual clue what being the opposite or "no sex" or "both sexes" feels like.

Funykeudfh · 21/02/2025 21:55

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 21:51

@Funykeudfh what’s difference between gender fluid and non binary?

Nothing- all a load of nonsense just ignore it.

TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 21:51

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Being gay is an actual way of life. Non binary is abstract nonsense and completely sexist and regressive

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 21:51

@Funykeudfh what’s difference between gender fluid and non binary?

OP posts:
negeme · 21/02/2025 21:49

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Indeed. However, the difference between 'gay' and 'non-binary', is interesting - and very simple.

If a man or woman sincerely says, "I feel I am attracted to people of the same sex as me," it must be true that person is same-sex-attracted (since to feel attracted is to be attracted).

However, if a man or woman, however sincerely, says, "I feel I am neither male nor female," it cannot be true that person is neither a man nor a woman (since every human is one or the other).

In short, "I am gay," sincerely asserted, must be true; "I am non-binary," sincerely asserted, must be false.

See?

TheIvyRestaurant · 21/02/2025 21:49

Didimum · 21/02/2025 20:57

You’re not required to know what it feels like.

Just like we are not required to play along and pretend it’s valid

Whotenanny · 21/02/2025 21:42

"Why do they all look like that?"

User7288339 · 21/02/2025 21:37

I haven't seen this episode but let me guess, this person was under 30?

I can sort of see how you might feel neither female or male or quite a traditionally "feminine" man or a "masculine" woman but don't see why there has to be a song or dance about it.

And why they had to ask the Barman their pronouns 🙄
Surely just treat people as people, we're all different.

Funykeudfh · 21/02/2025 21:35

myplace · 21/02/2025 21:00

However you were born is how you remain. It isn’t possible to change sex.

Male or female is what you are and what you remain. You can of course present in lits of different ways- most women are non binary I think. Or at least gender fluid.

Gender fluid and non binary are just nonsense made up phrases by those with deep seated issues. You don't get to say 'most women' align to those terms and that's exactly the kind of stance that got us into this pandering mess in the first place. I am woman hear me roar. About time we fought back.

myplace · 21/02/2025 21:25

I was referring to how people present. Every woman I know presents gender fluid or non binary- none wear exclusively masculine or feminine clothes, all wear combinations of trousers, skirts, suits, shorts, dresses… make up and jewellery never, sometimes or usually.

I don’t even recall anyone whose hair has been always short or long.

So sex, male or female. Presentation, generally fluid or non binary for women.

And the youngsters’ obsession just makes them look regressive.

Didimum · 21/02/2025 21:18

Fullofquestions1 · 21/02/2025 21:01

but am entitled to ask a question

Nowhere did I say you weren’t.

FOJN · 21/02/2025 21:11

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

I grew up in the 80's when androgyny and "gender bending" were quite the thing.

I wouldn't give a shit about how people were describing themselves now if I wasn't required to play along with made up pronouns and the pretence you can be neither male or female or it can change several times within the course of a single day.

No one has the energy for that kind of bullshit.

namechangeGOT · 21/02/2025 21:05

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Yet Gay, Bi or Straight people don't feel the need to declare it on their LinkedIn bios etc. Its a fashion fad, nothing else.

GrumpyPanda · 21/02/2025 21:04

It's the ultimate "not like other girls." And patronizing as hell to the rest of us since they can only be "non-binary" by pretending everybody else is firmly attached to their little pink or blue stereotype boxes.

AnSolas · 21/02/2025 21:04

On a dating show ?
A bodybuilder without the time in the gym🫢

BloodyKellHen · 21/02/2025 21:04

myplace · 21/02/2025 21:00

However you were born is how you remain. It isn’t possible to change sex.

Male or female is what you are and what you remain. You can of course present in lits of different ways- most women are non binary I think. Or at least gender fluid.

No, you don’t get to tell us that most women are non binary.
We are women, our biology dictates that and nothing else. NB is nothing but a pointless label in a weird screwed up world.

Ddakji · 21/02/2025 21:03

Redcliffe1 · 21/02/2025 21:00

As a straight woman I can't imagine being gay but doesn't mean others are therefore not gay. What happened to live and let live.

Because someone who wants to impose their personal beliefs on others to the extent of making them is incorrect language isn’t interested in live and let live, except for them.