Non binary

The term 'cis' annoys the hell out of me!

I am not 'cis' anything I am a 'woman'. I know 'cis' basically indicates 'not trans' but that doesn't mean anything to the vast majority of people. Biological women don't need a 'qualifier' to say they are not something, they just are women.

Just remembered it's the end of halfterm.

I identified as non binary for a while. I had severe body dysmorphia and was dealing with a traumatic childhood rearing its head. Somewhere along the way this translated into gender dysphoria in my head. I hated hearing myself referred to with "she" and "her", but felt equally repulsed by "he" and "him". They and them felt good. I hated my body and wore a binder.

At no point was it anything to do with stereotypes or gendered souls or anything like that. I know mumsnet users have very strong views on this, but they oversimplify the matter and think it's all about feeling special and wanting attention. I wanted eyes off me at all costs.

Eventually my mental health improved; I'm female and comfortable being called "she" again, got rid of my binders etc. I changed my name, but I don't regret that.

It's a weird middle ground. Trans activists tell you that you never really felt what you know you felt and you were just pretending; anti trans activists want you to be another example of a detransitioner and fight alongside them. I have friends who are trans, I have friends who are GC. I acknowledge that amongst the pretenders and the ones who want to feel special and the attention seekers there are people who are working through mental health situations and, given time, the phase will pass. I'm focusing on my mental health and my 'journey', not getting involved.

I do have a question; one of the things I've seen as an argument against the "live and let live" position is the compelled speech of pronouns. Where do names stand in that? If a trans person changes their name, is it compelled speech? Meanwhile I changed my name as part of the healing process, for separation from trauma - is that also compelled speech? It's something I've wondered a lot lately.

It's an ideology that suits older males who want more access to women and to the captured young.
A bit of a phase now that even younger people are moving out of, best to nod and change the subject if it comes up.
Hopefully the change in America to make sports fair again and the outcry against the suffering of the Scottish nurse will create ripples to further improve things for women and young people.

I can't tell whether this is a joke or not, but if it is, you win the award for deadpan 😂 I love it either way.

Ooh that didn't take long, wondered who'd be the first to chime in with that 😁

I agree OP. I mean, just by claiming you are 'non-binary' means you acknowledge there IS a 'binary', ie, man and woman.

I have never known a generation to be so obsessed with identity and insisting that all of society buys into their ideological beliefs.

There’s no such thing as “cis”.

It’s not the same. If someone I meet is gay it has no impact on me at all. If they’re non-binary then they’re forcing me to use pronouns that don’t match what I’m seeing.

It always turns into a bunfight about whether people agree with others being non-binary or not. It never answers the actual question of what it is / what it means / how it feels.

And if anyone tries to explain it, they get torn apart. MN is notoriously un-objective when it comes to anything to do with trans / non-binary issues. I don't have particularly strong feeling either way on the issues, but I do understand them, as much as anyone cis can do. Because I try not to be ignorant of things going on in the world (even if they don't affect me). But I've seen so much metaphorical foaming at the mouth on here, where the mere suggestion of understanding something in concept, is taken as a personal insult (from both points of view).

I just think that if OP genuinely wants to understand it, and isn't just being goady, there must be a place that explains it better than on here.

Same, and well said.

This.
Not everything's about me. Leave people alone

It doesn't appear that you have met many trans or non-binary people in real life as it appears you have been hoodwinked by a right-wing trope doing the rounds.

Most trans and non-binary people just want to get on quietly living their lives and are presently very fearful of the culture of intolerance and hostility towards them that is being cultivated.

I don't think most people are. It does seem like it's the "non-binary" or "trans" people who mostly want to tell people about their private lives though, and want everyone else to indulge them and use "preferred pronouns" and other such nonsense. I think people are getting sick of being told what they MUST say, do and think and if they dare disagree or want to discuss anything they get shouted down and accused of being transphobic

And it's a good question @Fullofquestions1 . I think it can be not feeling feminine or womanly enough in a female body, but equally not feeling totally masculine or manly either (and the reverse in a male body). The two being blended to some degree, regardless of your chromosomes or genitalia. Different levels of mix for different people.

Why?

So they could gestate a baby they are the father of?

This is the wrong forum to ask.

Attention seeking or MH issues.

Yup.

What’s playing along got to do with anything? She’s watching someone on TV.

Some people started calling themselves "gender fluid" to sound MORE special than someone "non-binary".

Mmhmmm, right.

It doesn't but I can't be arsed getting in to it.

They'll know if they're male or female from testing that is done when babies with disorders of sexual development are born.