Non binary

Aw, come on! Many of us ask other people to refer to us using our preferred terms - Ms vs miss, for example, or a shortened version of our given name. When I have my professional hat on, I expect to be addressed as ‘Dr LoserWinner’, and I quite like my grandchildren to call me ‘Granny’.

@LoserWinner

But all of these examples refer to things you actually, objectively are. If you were not a doctor, people at your work may be less happy if you expected them to call you doctor. I imagine they would be less happy still, if you expected them to refer to you as Granny, when you are not their Granny.

A better analogy would be if a Christian co -worker wanted you to refer to her as ‘saved Hannah’ from now on. It’s her belief system that she is saved, but most people would regard it as going too far to ask the rest of you to refer to her in terms that reflect her personal beliefs. Still worse, if she asked that you refer to yourselves as ‘unsaved Elspeth’ which is similar to what is being asked if anyone expects the rest of us to be called ‘Cis’

When I first heard the term non-binary, I sought out lots of first person accounts by people who described themselves as NB, to try to understand this

Basically, they were all rejecting the stereotype ( or some of stereotypes) they saw associated with their sex. That was it.

In my view, if you need to reject your sex to reject stereotypes, you are actually reinforcing stereotypes.

Gosh, apparently my single sentence is ageist and thoroughly unacceptable; how very dare I structure my sentence in that way.

I had assumed that posters would realise I was not referring to all the 40 year olds and over in the world and again then not be referring to all the under 40 year olds in the world having opposite opinions. Sorry if this was confusing for anyone.

unfortunately the idea that we must pretend has saturated pullulate through out society which results in individuals concluding they have some kind of right to police how others speak.

I haven't agreed to believe two men getting married being okay.

Also, two people can't be married just because they said so, it is the government/church that sanctions it. Marriage is a contract of the couple with the rest of society.

I am able to read

do you all followed by An Opinion.

And scolding is an action

Feel all scolded

Is assuming there was an emotional reaction to the first general sweeping you all or the next sweeping you but not you opinion.

No. Marriage, like other contracts, is an agreement by both sides to do certain things.

A GRC is a legal document of a totally different kind. The government agrees with the trans person to claim that the trans person has changed gender. ‘Gender’ is a conveniently flexible word and concept that can be manipulated to mean different things. With a GRC, people use it to pretend they have changed sex.

No one else is party to that contract. I haven’t agreed to pretend I think anyone has changed sex.

my hair has been a mix of purple, blue and turquoise for last 4or 5 years lol

It looks better than mousey brown and if it helps keep people away BONUS!!

Yes.

I'm a woman and just because I don't fitting the prescribed box doesn't make me any less a woman
Nobody has said you are less of a woman though.

This.

I'm not in any box. I'm a woman and just because I don't fitting the prescribed box doesn't make me any less a woman.

I don't declare pronouns. I don't ever use cis, it's BS.

You cannot change your biological sex. Trans women are not women they are men who identify as women. Trans men are not men they are women who identify as men. Therefore men cannot get pregnant, women who feel they want to identify as men can and then show the world that they are women and not men.

Scolding 😂
Quite funny really the "side" that huff and accuse people who are trans /non binary of suffering from "hurty feelz" feel all scolded and told off if they encounter a disagreement or alternate views to their own 😁

Oops a personal scolding.
How charming.
Duly noted and filed appropriately.

Then by that logic, do you agree a GRC can make any man legally a woman and everyone should be forced to behave as if it's true?

Ah.. the putting words into mouths/extrapolation condescension 'i'm more intelligent that you' response. Hit a nerve did i?

Do you know all the people replying on here are women? Men/boys are just as capable of being catty.

People can object to a thing without being childish and sounding like nasty mean kids from high school. We're adults, not horrible teenagers poking fun at kids we don't like on the playground.

You talk about trans/nb/pronouns on here and quite a few posters revert to Mean Girls territory in how they respond, its unnecessary.

Non-binary means “I believe in gender/sex stereotypes for other people, but not for myself. So by dressing how I like etc I am proving that I am not a member of either sex.”

Feminists in the 1970s also refused to conform to the sex stereotypes that are now called gender identities. We didn’t imagine that unsexed us. We were proud to be women, and still are.

Hummm...

Bad bad women
Silly and small minded not to act as a mindless mirror and reflect back what is projected on us by others.

Duly noted and filed appropriately.

Fundamentally though, that is what a significant percentage of people think/have always thought. There is nothing unusual about rejecting gender stereotypes.

Demanding special labels and pronouns is totally OTT for this very normal human experience.

"catty" - get outta here.

NOBODY can force anyone else to refer to them with "they/them" or whatever. When you start on the "oh you're committing literal violence" shite, it makes even me (who will use pronouns for people in person if i can't avoid it) want to slap them.

Everyone should give everyone else at least a modicum of respect as a person. by not being out and out rude to their faces. But ridiculous demands can get to fuck, IMO.

Hope you're not generalising there, I'm over 40 and don't "have a problem with it."
Otherwise that's just as bad as assuming everyone with blue hair is a weirdo who needs to be avoided.

all this childish prejudicial bollocks, do you all realise how petty and catty you sound?

OP its quite simple, people who are 'non-binary' simply don't feel an affinity with being particularly masculine or feminine and prefer to be somewhere in the middle, it used to be called being androgenous.

The thing around they/them pronouns is just an extension of that.

This stuff always reminds me of a quote I saw (can't remember who, sorry)...

"You would care less what people think of you if you realised how seldom they do".

As an individual I don't need every person who I meet to validate my personal version of identity. Identity is made up of many, many, many aspects. One small part is how we see and feel about ourselves, the rest is socialisation, how others in wider society see and treat us, how people close to us see and feel about us etc. I can't decide if it is massively self-obsessed or a need to feel a sense of control that drives people to invest so much in promoting their preferred identity on strangers.

Social media and the ability to curate image etc has probably played a huge role in this shift as well.

People don't seem to adapt themselves to different situations in the way that they used to. That isn't to say necessarily change themselves, more people don't think t"there's a 'me' who parties with friends and a 'me' who visits my grandparents but they are both 'me'".

the casual ageism is tedious.

Good for your DC.

As for the reference to "blue hair" it shorthand, like all the tedious posters dropping ageism in or referring to "boomers"

Not if I believe only true marriages are ordained by God. They are only 'married' because a piece of paper says so.

then you do what the rest of us do when confronted by the "They/Thems" or the people who insist on incorrect sex pronouns: use your language to avoid using the words you don't want to use, without being rude. Or let your homophobia hang out there for all to see and take what comes in terms of judgy looks and comments.

Can get pregnant, therefore has a womb and ovaries, presumably then ovulates, but can't have periods because no vag opening! How does that work then?

I seriously don't get the obsession on here with deriding/ sneering at/avoiding people with blue hair on here either.
Saw somebody with the most ,amazing blue AND purple hair the other week, I remember thinking "wow, love it!" then immediately thinking how it'd get certain parts of MN reaching for the smelling salts in a fit of the vapors as they must obviously be a wrong 'un 😂